Use the two chopsticks, as if they were tweezers or pliers, to pick up bite-sized portions of food, dip them in soy sauce or other condiments, and then pop them into your mouth.
Using chopsticks may seem difficult, but you can handle them. After all, guys all over the world use them all the time. It may take a little practice, but before long you’ll find that you can master using chopsticks—the same way you can do any other thing you put effort into.
If a gentleman feels uneasy about trying to use chopsticks, he asks for a knife and fork instead. He would rather eat his meal without dropping his food than try to use equipment he hasn’t mastered yet.
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Chapter 36
OPENING THE DOOR FOR OTHER PEOPLE
When you open the door for another person, here are some of the nice things you can expect to hear:
“Thank you.”
“I hope my son does that.”
“Aren’t you nice?”
“What a gentleman!”
And sometimes, when people say these things, your mom or dad will hear them—and that will be very good for you. But even if your folks never hear about all the nice things you do, doing nice things for other people will make you feel great.
Holding the door open for other people and letting them walk ahead of you—at the mall, in church, or even at school—is one the nice things you can start doing right now. It doesn’t matter if the other person is your age or the age of your grandfather. A gentleman holds the door open for women and men, young and old.
YOU DO
Open the door for someone you see coming right after you.
YOU DON’T
Stand there and hold the door open if the person is a considerable distance away.
Why
It is polite to hold the door open for anyone walking in behind you, but if a person is far away and sees you standing and waiting, they may feel the need to rush and walk faster than usual.
YOU DO
Hold the door open for a group of people who are walking in together.
YOU DON’T
Decide that you’ve done your duty, after half the group has walked in, and let the door slam in somebody’s face.
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Why
Being a gentleman is about doing nice things for other people. It won’t kill you to hold the door open for a few extra seconds. Usually someone in the group will say, “Thanks,” and offer to take over for you.
If a gentleman is walking a short distance behind a lady, he steps forward to open the door for her.
If a gentleman is walking a long way behind a lady, he does not rush forward to open the door—unless he sees that the lady is carrying a number of packages and may have difficulty managing the door on her own. He may say to her, “May I open the door for you?”
If a gentleman opens the door for someone who does not say, “Thank you,” he does not mention that person’s lack of manners. A gentleman never calls attention to another person’s thoughtlessness.
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Chapter 37
A GENTLEMAN GOES ONLINE
You are lucky. You are part of the first generation of people who have known about computers ever since they were born. When your parents were kids, computers were monster machines that sometimes took up an entire room. For your grandparents, computers were science fiction; but you probably use them every day—either to do your homework or to have fun. Because you’ve been around computers all your life, you may take them for granted. But when you take them for granted, you run the risk of abusing or misusing one of the greatest inventions of all time.
You may already be at a time in your life where you spend a lot of time online. It could be playing games, listening to music, doing research for your homework, or visiting the Web site or blog for your favorite athlete. But as you get older, you will probably spend even more time online on things like social networks, sending and receiving e-mails, and managing your schedule. Just remember this: You are not an anonymous guy sitting behind a computer screen. Treat your online life just like you do your real in-person life. Treat others with respect, be courteous, and do not give out too much information.
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YOU DO
Follow the rules your parents or your teachers set for computer use.
YOU DON’T
Give out personal information on your computer to people you don’t know. If you give out information to strangers, you may be putting yourself or your family at risk.
Why
You really don’t know the person you might be talking to in a chat room or on a message board. The Internet is a great way to meet new people, but you must be cautious. Respect the boundaries your parents set for your computer use—and use common sense.
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YOU DO
Use your head and remember your manners when you are sending e-mails or instant messages or postings on Web sites.
YOU DON’T
Send any dirty or questionable e-mails or instant messages to anyone. Although you might think a dirty joke is funny, your friends—or, more important, their parents—might not want that sort of communication coming into their home.
Why
You don’t want to be known as “The Boy Who Sends Dirty E-mails.” And you definitely do not want your own parents getting angry calls from your friends’ parents. After that type of phone call, you could find yourself grounded, with all your computer privileges revoked.
YOU DO
Know that there are times when a phone call or an in-person conversation is better than an e-mail.
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YOU DON’T
Hide behind an e-mail when you have to say something difficult.
Why
A gentleman is never cowardly. It may be uncomfortable to tell a girl face-to-face that you can’t take her to a dance, but it would be unkind simply to send her an e-mail saying “Sorry. I can’t take you to the dance.” Even if you don’t like her very much and you figure the dance will be boring, you do not want to hurt her feelings. It’s part of your job as a gentleman to treat other people with respect and help them feel better about themselves. People will appreciate it when you make that effort in person.
YOU DO
Use your head when it comes to responding to e-mails from people you don’t know.
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