I really, really promise,” only makes you sound like a baby. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. There is probably a good reason he or she has said no. At the same time, your friend’s iPod is his property. He doesn’t have to lend it to you, unless he wants to. When a friend tells you no, you respect his decision and figure out another way to enjoy music during your vacation.
If a gentleman breaks something he has borrowed, he finds a way to replace it or to repair it.
A gentleman does not borrow anything that he can’t afford to replace or repair. He thinks twice before asking to borrow an expensive item.
A gentleman knows the difference between saying no for a good reason and being selfish. He avoids being selfish, at any cost. A gentleman tries to help others out in every way he possibly can.
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Chapter 39
THE UNZIPPED ZIPPER AND OTHER EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS
It’s funny when . . .
• People slip on some ice and fall on their rear ends.
• A guy laughs so hard that milk comes out of his nose.
• A guy walks around school or at a party with his pants unzipped.
• A guy’s voice cracks while he is giving a report.
But it’s not funny when you’re the guy who falls on his rear end, when milk comes squirting out of your nose, when you are the guy walking around with his fly open, or when your voice cracks in front of a crowd of people.
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Actually, some other people may think it’s kind of funny, but it may not seem all that funny to you.
From time to time, every guy will discover that he is walking around with his fly open. And people fall down on the ice all the time. The voice-cracking thing will eventually end. And the milk thing usually happens when you are laughing at something that’s really funny.
You are going to have a much better life if you are able to laugh along with your friends when you do something embarrassing or funny.
A gentleman tries his best not to let such moments bother him.
YOU DO
Tell another guy if you notice that his zipper is open.
YOU DON’T
Point at the other guy in front of other people and call unnecessary attention to the fact that his zipper is open. And you do not make lame remarks such as, “Hey, Bobby, looks like the barn door is open.”
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Why
A gentleman always puts himself in the other fellow’s place. He knows that, if he were the one walking around with his zipper down, he wouldn’t want anybody making fun of him.
YOU DO
Understand that other people may not share your sense of humor. It may not be a good idea to laugh out loud when somebody falls on an icy sidewalk. Other people may not think it’s as funny as you do.
YOU DON’T
Get so caught up in laughing that you forget to ask the person who fell if he or she is hurt.
Why
A person can get seriously hurt by a fall. But even if he or she is not seriously hurt, it is your duty as a gentleman to help him or her up and make sure he or she is not seriously injured.
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If a gentleman sees somebody walking around with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his or her shoe, he tells that person about it, very quietly.
If a gentleman has seen someone walking around with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his or her shoe, he does not go around telling the story to other people.
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Chapter 40
BOUNDARIES: YOURS AND THEIRS
Doors are good.
Doors with locks are even better.
But knowing how to knock on a closed door is the best.
Everyone needs, wants, and deserves some privacy in his or her life. That’s why doors come in handy.
When you were three years old, it probably didn’t bother you if people walked in while you were in the bathroom. The door to your bedroom was probably unlocked all the time. As you’ve grown older, your feelings have probably changed, and your privacy is probably a lot more important to you. Well, guess what? Just as you want some privacy every now and then, so do the other people in your home. You’re not a three-year-old anymore, and your parents and sister don’t want you barging into the bathroom without knocking first.
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YOU DO
Respectfully ask your family members to knock before entering your bedroom or opening the door to the bathroom.
YOU DON’T
Yell, “Can’t you knock?” when someone walks in on you without asking. It probably isn’t necessary for you to put a “Do not disturb” sign on your bedroom door. In most cases, it will do the trick if you simply say, “Mom and Dad, I’d appreciate it if you’d knock before coming into my room,” or “If you think I might be in the bathroom, please knock before opening the door.” If that doesn’t work, you can always lock the bathroom door.
Why
You are not a little boy anymore. It is okay for you to request your own personal space and to ask to have some time alone. If you explain that to your parents, more than likely they will understand and cooperate.
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YOU DO
Know that if you spend thirty minutes in a locked bathroom, people are going to want to know what’s taking so long.
YOU DON’T
Hog a bathroom that you share with other people.
Why
A gentleman understands that the family bathroom is not his private hideaway.
YOU DO
Show your family and your friends the same respect that you would like them to show to you.
YOU DON’T
Barge into their rooms when the door is shut, or even knock on the door, if you think they may be trying to have some private time.
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Why
Your parents and your brothers and sisters need privacy every now and then, the same way you do. If you respect their boundaries, they will be much more likely to respect yours.
A gentleman never asks anyone, “What were you doing in there? Why did you lock the door?”
A gentleman never opens a closed door without knocking first and waiting to be invited to come in.
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Chapter 41
TAKING PRIDE IN YOUR APPEARANCE
Being dressed right doesn’t always mean being dressed up.
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