(And turning it around backwards doesn’t count.) Your cap always comes off, completely, at mealtime. If you can’t figure what else to do with it, roll it up and put it in your back pocket.
Why
People want to be able to see your face while they’re sharing a meal with you.
YOU DO
Know that there is a time and a place to wear a cap.
YOU DON’T
Wear a baseball cap in your classroom or in church. And you don’t wear a baseball cap with your suit and tie—even if it is your favorite cap, and even if it is clean and almost brand-new.
Why
Caps are for casual times, not for times when you want to look dignified.
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A gentleman takes off his cap during the National Anthem, during the Pledge of Allegiance, or whenever the American flag is passing by.
A gentleman takes off his cap when he is being introduced to another person—especially if he is being introduced to an older person.
A gentleman does not wear a cap with a slogan or a logo that might insult or embarrass another person.
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Chapter 45
TAKING CARE OF YOUR FINGERNAILS
Having dirty fingernails is nothing to be ashamed of. It happens when you have been out mowing the lawn or fixing your bike or doing something else that involves hard work. It also happens when you have been playing a rough game of baseball or soccer. But after you are done with all the hard work or the hard playing and before you sit down for dinner, you have to wash your hands and pay attention to your fingernails.
YOU DO
Clean your fingernails with the tip of a nail file.
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YOU DON’T
Clean the dirt out with your teeth.
Why
You wouldn’t just go out into the yard with a knife and fork and eat dirt, would you? A gentleman doesn’t eat dirt. And he doesn’t eat bicycle grease. That, however, is just what you’re doing when you try to clean your fingernails with your teeth.
YOU DO
Trim your fingernails and toenails regularly.
YOU DON’T
Wait until you look like Freddy Krueger or Count Dracula before you trim your fingernails. If you trim your toenails and it turns out they are long enough to use as a bookmark, you’ve definitely waited too long.
Why
Long fingernails aren’t a good look. They get dirty more easily, and they scratch people. They are a sure sign that you don’t take pride in your appearance.
A gentleman has his own fingernail and toenail clippers.
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Chapter 46
HANDKERCHIEFS AND TISSUES
Wiping your nose on the back of your hand—or your shirt sleeve—is truly gross. That’s why handkerchiefs and tissues were invented—to catch all the stuff that comes out of your nose and mouth when you cough or sneeze.
You never know when you are going to sneeze—or when you are going to realize that something really unfortunate is hanging from your nose. That’s why a gentleman always has a handkerchief that is made of cloth, it can be washed and used again. That means, however, that a gentleman has to check his handkerchief every day, to make sure it isn’t so dirty that it needs to be replaced.
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YOU DO
Have your handkerchief or tissue ready when you feel a sneeze coming on.
YOU DON’T
Wait and hope that the urge to sneeze will go away—or that it will be a fairly dry one.
Why
Catching a sneeze early is better than cleaning up afterward.
YOU DO
Offer your handkerchief or a tissue to someone if he or she needs it—but only if it is a clean handkerchief or a dry tissue.
YOU DON’T
Offer someone a dirty handkerchief or a damp tissue.
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Why
The sight of a dirty handkerchief or tissue can be really disgusting—and it can spread germs.
A gentleman washes his hands after he sneezes, especially if he has a cold.
A gentleman throws his used tissues in the trash as soon as he can. He does not let them pile up on his desk or, even worse, on a table at a restaurant.
A gentleman does not pick his nose in public.
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Chapter 47
PICKING UP AFTER YOUR PET
Remember when you begged your parents to let you have a puppy? Remember how you promised, again and again, that you would take care of him and wash him and feed him and take him for walks? At that point, you probably were thinking about all the cool things you could do with your own dog—things like rolling with him in the leaves and letting him lick your face.
But owning a pet means that you have to be responsible for the not-so-fun times as well as the fun ones. And that means you have to deal with pet poop. Unless you live in the country and have a dog who goes into the woods to do his business, or you’ve got a cat who has figured out how to use the toilet, picking up pet poop or cleaning out the litter box is going to be part of your standard routine.
Whether you said it or not, that was part of the promise you made when you asked for a pet. It’s not just a promise you made to your parents. You also made it to everybody who’s likely to walk down the sidewalk after you and your dog.
YOU DO
Pick up your dog’s poop when you take him for a walk in somebody else’s yard.
YOU DON’T
Leave the poop in the grass, even if nobody is watching.
Why
Other people don’t want the surprise of stepping in your dog’s poop, much less the burden of trying to scrape it off their shoes. Would you want other people turning your yard into the community dog poop park?
YOU DO
Take along a plastic bag to put the poop in. You can slip the bag over your fingers like a glove. That way, you’ll eliminate poop-to-hand contact.
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YOU DON’T
Just toss the bag in the middle of the street or drop it in somebody else’s garbage can.
Why
It’s your dog’s poop. It goes in your trash can.
YOU DO
Empty your cat’s litter box on a regular schedule.
YOU DON’T
Wait until your entire house smells like old kitty litter before you clean it out.
Why
Gentlemen don’t live in houses that smell like old kitty litter.
YOU DO
Clean up your dog’s poop, even if he chooses to do his business on his own home turf.
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YOU DON’T
Wait until someone steps in a big pile of poop and tracks it into your house, causing you to get yelled at.
Why
You don’t want to spend your time cleaning the carpet. Life will be a lot easier if you just go ahead and pick up the poop.
A gentleman takes responsibility for his own pets.
A gentleman walks his dog regularly, allowing enough time for his dog to do his bathroom business.
A gentleman always carries a plastic bag or two when he walks his dog.
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Chapter 48
PICKING UP AFTER YOURSELF
You may think that, once you’re an adult, you won’t have to clean up after yourself. You may assume that nobody will care if you throw your socks on the floor, or that it will be all right for you to leave your dirty dishes in the sink for as long as you like, or that it will be Okay if you don’t clean up until somebody writes, “Clean me,” in the dust on the coffee table.
Once you are out on your own, you will get to choose how often you straighten up and how often you clean the place where you live. That may sound like fun right now—but it won’t be fun when your apartment starts to smell and your landlord threatens to kick you out. And it will be even less fun when your friends stop coming to your house because they’re tired of tripping over your dirty clothes.
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Right now, your parents probably expect you to do your part in keeping your house or apartment clean. And they are right. If you get used to being messy and tossing leftover food under your bed, you will have a much harder time breaking that habit when you get out on your own.
YOU DO
Hang up your wet towels after you’ve finished your shower.
YOU DON’T
Throw them on the bathroom floor.
Why
After a while, wet towels begin to smell. If you let them sit around long enough, unhealthy stuff will start growing in them and they will turn green.
YOU DO
Put your dirty dishes in the sink after you’ve finished eating.
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