I'll tell you, as you are so
kind, but I trust that you won't even mention such a think to a
living soul, for it might work me more and greater woe. I am
suffering from a bad dream."
"A bad dream!" I said, hoping to cheer him; "but dreams pass
away with the light-even with waking." There I stopped, for before
he spoke I saw the answer in his desolate look round the little
place.
"No! no! that's all well for people that live in comfort and
with those they love around them. It is a thousand times worse for
those who live alone and have to do so. What cheer is there for me,
waking here in the silence of the night, with the wide moor around
me full of voices and full of faces that make my waking a worse
dream than my sleep? Ah, young sir, you have no past that can send
its legions to people the darkness and the empty space, and I pray
the good God that you may never have! As he spoke, there was such
an almost irresistible gravity of conviction in his manner that I
abandoned my remonstrance about his solitary life. I felt that I
was in the presence of some secret influence which I could not
fathom. To my relief, for I knew not what to say, he went on-
"Two nights past have I dreamed it. It was hard enough the first
night, but I came through it. Last night the expectation was in
itself almost worse than the dream-until the dream came, and then
it swept away every remembrance of lesser pain. I stayed awake till
just before the dawn, and then it came again, and ever since I have
been in such an agony as I am sure the dying feel, and with it all
the dread of to-night." Before he had got to the end of the
sentence my mind was made up, and I felt that I could speak to him
more cheerfully.
"Try and get to sleep early to-night-in fact, before the evening
has passed away. The sleep will refresh you, and I promise you
there will not be any bad dreams after to-night." He shook his head
hopelessly, so I sat a little longer and then left him.
When I got home I made my arrangements for the night, for I had
made up my mind to share Jacob Settle's lonely vigil in his cottage
on the moor. I judged that if he got to sleep before sunset he
would wake well before midnight, and so, just as the bells of the
city were striking eleven, I stood opposite his door armed with a
bag, in which were my supper, and extra large flask, a couple of
candles, and a book. The moonlight was bright, and flooded the
whole moor, till it was almost as light as day; but ever and anon
black clouds drove across the sky, and made a darkness which by
comparison seemed almost tangible. I opened the door softly, and
entered without waking Jacob, who lay asleep with his white face
upward. He was still, and again bathed it sweat. I tried to imagine
what visions were passing before those closed eyes which could
bring with them the misery and woe which were stamped on the face,
but fancy failed me, and I waited for the awakening. It came
suddenly, and in a fashion which touched me to the quick, for the
hollow groan that broke from the man's white lips as he half arose
and sank back was manifestly the realisation or completion of some
train of thought which had gone before.
"If this be dreaming," said I to myself, "then it must be based
on some very terrible reality. What can have been that unhappy fact
that he spoke of?"
While I thus spoke, he realised that I was with him. It struck
me as strange that he had no period of that doubt as to whether
dream or reality surrounded him which commonly marks an expected
environment of waking men. With a positive cry of joy, he seized my
hand and held it in his two wet, trembling hands, as a frightened
child clings on to someone whom it loves. I tried to soothe
him-
"There, there! it is all right. I have come to stay with you
to-night, and together we will try to fight this evil dream." He
let go my hand suddenly, and sank back on his bed and covered his
eyes with his hands.
"Fight it?-the evil dream! Ah! no sir no! No mortal power can
fight that dream, for it comes form God-and is burned in here;" and
he beat upon his forehead. Then he went on-
It is the same dream, ever the same, and yet it grows in its
power to torture me every time it comes."
"What is the dream?" I asked, thinking that the speaking of it
might give him some relief, but he shrank away from me, and after a
long pause said-
"No, I had better not tell it. It may not come again."
There was manifestly something to conceal from me-something that
lay behind the dream, so I answered-
"All right. I hope you have seen the last of it. But if it
should come again, you will tell me, will you not? I ask, not out
of curiosity, but because I think it may relieve you to speak." He
answered with what I thought was almost an undue amount of
solemnity-
"If it comes again, I shall tell you all."
Then I tried to get his mind away from the subject to more
mundane things, so I produced supper, and made him share it with
me, including the contents of the flask. After a little he braced
up, and when I lit my cigar, having given him another, we smoked a
full hour, and talked of many things. Little by little the comfort
of his body stole over his mind, and I could see sleep laying her
gentle hands on his eyelids. He felt it, too, and told me that now
he felt all right, and I might safely leave him; but I told him
that, right or wrong, I was going to see in the daylight. So I lit
my other candle, and began to read as he fell asleep.
By degrees I got interested in my book, so interested that
presently I was startled by its dropping out of my hands. I looked
and saw that Jacob was still asleep, and I was rejoiced to see that
there was on his face a look of unwonted happiness, while his lips
seemed to move with unspoken words.
1 comment