The others watched her, knowing that
when her pewter was empty she would turn them out of the kitchen. In a few
moments she said, 'I think, Kate, that if you're in a hurry you'd better
get on with your dress. I have to see to Mr. Lennox's dinner, and I can't
have you a-hanging about. As it is, I don't know how I'm to get the work
done. There's a leg of mutton to be roasted, and a pudding to be made, and
all by four o'clock.'
Kate calmed the old woman with a few words, and taking Ralph's dinner from
her, carried it upstairs. She found her husband better, and, setting the
tray on the edge of the bed, she answered the questions he put to her
concerning the actor briefly; then begged of him to excuse her, as she
heard voices in the shop. Mr. Lennox had come in bringing two men with him,
Joe Mortimer, the low comedian, and young Montgomery, the conductor; and it
became difficult to prevent Hender from listening at the doors, and almost
useless to remind her of the fact that there were children present, so
excited did she become when she spoke of Bret's love affairs.
But at six o'clock she put on her hat, and there was no dissuading her;
Mrs. Barnes must wait for her dress. There was still much to be done, and
when Mrs. Ede called from the kitchen that tea was ready, Kate did not at
first answer, and when at last she descended she remained only long enough
to eat a piece of bread and butter. Her head was filled with grave
forebodings, that gradually drifted and concentrated into one fixed
idea—not to disappoint Mrs. Barnes. Once quite suddenly, she was startled
by an idea which flashed across her mind, and stopping in the middle of a
'leaf,' she considered the question that had propounded itself. Lodgers
often make love to their landladies; what would she do if Mr. Lennox made
love to her? Such a thing might occur. An expression of annoyance
contracted her face, and she resumed her sewing. The hours passed slowly
and oppressively. It was now ten o'clock, and the tail had still to be
bound with braid, and the side strings to be sewn in. She had no tape by
her, and thought of putting off these finishing touches till the morning,
but plucking up her courage, she determined to go down and fetch from the
shop what was required. The walk did her good, but it was hard to sit down
to work again; and the next few minutes seemed to her interminable: but at
last the final stitch was given, the thread bitten off, and the dress held
up in triumph. She looked at it for a moment with a feeling of pride, which
soon faded into a sensation of indifference.
All the same her day's labour was over; she was now free. But the thought
carried a bitterness: she remembered that there was no place for her to go
to but her sick husband's room. Yet she had been looking forward to having
at least one night's rest, and it exasperated her to think that there was
nothing for her but a hard pallet in the back room, and the certainty of
being awakened several times to attend to Ralph. She asked herself
passionately if she was always going to remain a slave and a drudge?
Hender's words came back to her with a strange distinctness, and she saw
that she knew nothing of pleasure, or even of happiness; and in a very
simple way she wondered what were really the ends of life. If she were good
and religious like her mother or her mother-in-law—But somehow she could
never feel as they did. Heaven seemed so far away. Of course it was a
consolation to think there was a happier and better world;
still—still—Not being able to pursue the thread any further, she stopped,
puzzled, and a few moments after she was thinking of the lady who used to
read Byron and Shelley, and who resisted her lover's entreaties so bravely.
Every part of the forgotten story came back to her. She realized the place
they used to dream in.
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