'What
are you thinking of?'
'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to the
fifth bend, I think?'
'I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and
looking anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'
'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and
walking away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily
offended, you know!'
The Mouse only growled in reply.
'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it;
and the others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but the
Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little
quicker.
'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it
was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of
saying to her daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you
never to lose YOUR temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young
Crab, a little snappishly. 'You're enough to try the patience of an
oyster!'
'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,
addressing nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!'
'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said
the Lory.
Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about
her pet: 'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for
catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her
after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at
it!'
This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some
of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping
itself up very carefully, remarking, 'I really must be getting
home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary called
out in a trembling voice to its children, 'Come away, my dears!
It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts they all
moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a
melancholy tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure
she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I
shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice began to cry
again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little
while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in
the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse
had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story.
CHAPTER IV. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking
anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she
heard it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear
paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as
ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?'
Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the fan and the
pair of white kid gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunting
about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen—everything seemed
to have changed since her swim in the pool, and the great hall,
with the glass table and the little door, had vanished
completely.
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
and called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what ARE
you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of
gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened
that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without
trying to explain the mistake it had made.
'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran.
'How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better
take him his fan and gloves—that is, if I can find them.' As she
said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door of which
was a bright brass plate with the name 'W. RABBIT' engraved upon
it. She went in without knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great
fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of
the house before she had found the fan and gloves.
'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going
messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages
next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that would happen:
'"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready for your walk!"
"Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see that the mouse
doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went on, 'that they'd
let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering people about like
that!'
By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with
a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two
or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a
pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her
eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass.
There was no label this time with the words 'DRINK ME,' but
nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. 'I know
SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself,
'whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this
bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for really
I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'
It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before
she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against
the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken.
She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself 'That's quite
enough—I hope I shan't grow any more—As it is, I can't get out at
the door—I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so much!'
Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and
growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another
minute there was not even room for this, and she tried the effect
of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the other arm
curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and, as a last
resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the
chimney, and said to herself 'Now I can do no more, whatever
happens. What WILL become of me?'
Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full
effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable,
and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting
out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.
'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one
wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about
by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that
rabbit-hole—and yet—and yet—it's rather curious, you know, this
sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me! When I used
to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened,
and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book
written about me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I'll write
one—but I'm grown up now,' she added in a sorrowful tone; 'at least
there's no room to grow up any more HERE.'
'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I NEVER get any older than I
am now? That'll be a comfort, one way—never to be an old woman—but
then—always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like
THAT!'
'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you
learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no
room at all for any lesson-books!'
And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,
and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few
minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.
'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this
moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice
knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled
till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a
thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be
afraid of it.
Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it;
but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard
against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to
itself 'Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'
'THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she
fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly
spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get
hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a
crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was just
possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something of the
sort.
Next came an angry voice—the Rabbit's—'Pat! Pat! Where are you?'
And then a voice she had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm here!
Digging for apples, yer honour!'
'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here!
Come and help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.)
'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'
'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it 'arrum.')
'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills
the whole window!'
'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'
'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it
away!'
There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear
whispers now and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer honour,
at all, at all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at last she
spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This
time there were TWO little shrieks, and more sounds of broken
glass. 'What a number of cucumber-frames there must be!' thought
Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the
window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I don't want to stay in
here any longer!'
She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last
came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many
voices all talking together: she made out the words: 'Where's the
other ladder?—Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the
other—Bill! fetch it here, lad!—Here, put 'em up at this corner—No,
tie 'em together first—they don't reach half high enough yet—Oh!
they'll do well enough; don't be particular—Here, Bill! catch hold
of this rope—Will the roof bear?—Mind that loose slate—Oh, it's
coming down! Heads below!' (a loud crash)—'Now, who did that?—It
was Bill, I fancy—Who's to go down the chimney?—Nay, I shan't! YOU
do it!—That I won't, then!—Bill's to go down—Here, Bill! the master
says you're to go down the chimney!'
'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice
to herself. 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't
be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be
sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'
She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what
sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close
above her: then, saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one
sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.
The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes
Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along—'Catch him, you by the hedge!'
then silence, and then another confusion of voices—'Hold up his
head—Brandy now—Don't choke him—How was it, old fellow? What
happened to you? Tell us all about it!'
Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,'
thought Alice,) 'Well, I hardly know—No more, thank ye; I'm better
now—but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you—all I know is,
something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a
sky-rocket!'
'So you did, old fellow!' said the others.
'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and
Alice called out as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah
at you!'
There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to
herself, 'I wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any sense,
they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they began moving
about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A barrowful will do,
to begin with.'
'A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to
doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling
in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face. 'I'll put a
stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out, 'You'd better
not do that again!' which produced another dead silence.
Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all
turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright
idea came into her head.
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