But I return to my text:
we are as God made us. I am neither a philosopher nor a poet, to
set out upon a wild-goose chase of making myself a different man
from what you find me. As for consequences, what must be must be.
As we brew we must bake. And so, do you see? I shall not trouble
myself about what is to be, but stand up to it with a stout heart
when it comes. Only this I can tell you, that as long as I find you
thrust into my dish every day I shall hate you as bad as senna and
valerian. And damn me, if I do not think I hate you the more for
coming to-day in this pragmatical way, when nobody sent for you, on
purpose to show how much wiser you are than all the world
besides."
"Mr. Tyrrel, I have done. I foresaw consequences, and came as a
friend. I had hoped that, by mutual explanation, we should have
come to a better understanding. I am disappointed; but, perhaps,
when you coolly reflect on what has passed, you will give me credit
for my intentions, and think that my proposal was not an
unreasonable one."
Having said this, Mr. Falkland departed. Through the interview
he, no doubt, conducted himself in a way that did him peculiar
credit. Yet the warmth of his temper could not be entirely
suppressed: and even when he was most exemplary, there was an
apparent loftiness in his manner that was calculated to irritate;
and the very grandeur with which he suppressed his passions,
operated indirectly as a taunt to his opponent. The interview was
prompted by the noblest sentiments; but it unquestionably served to
widen the breach it was intended to heal.
For Mr. Tyrrel, he had recourse to his old expedient, and
unburthened the tumult of his thoughts to his confidential friend.
"This," cried he, "is a new artifice of the fellow, to prove his
imagined superiority. We knew well enough that he had the gift of
the gab. To be sure, if the world were to be governed by words, he
would be in the right box. Oh, yes, he had it all hollow! But what
signifies prating? Business must be done in another guess way than
that. I wonder what possessed me that I did not kick him I But that
is all to come. This is only a new debt added to the score, which
he shall one day richly pay. This Falkland haunts me like a demon.
I cannot wake but I think of him. I cannot sleep but I see him. He
poisons all my pleasures. I should be glad to see him torn with
tenter-hooks, and to grind his heart-strings with my teeth. I shall
know no joy till I see him ruined. There may be some things right
about him; but he is my perpetual torment. The thought of him hangs
like a dead weight upon my heart, and I have a right to shake it
off. Does he think I will feel all that I endure for nothing?"
In spite of the acerbity of Mr. Tyrrel's feelings, it is
probable, however, he did some justice to his rival. He regarded
him, indeed, with added dislike; but he no longer regarded him as a
despicable foe.
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