He rose and lit the candle, crossed over to the window where
the mist shone grey, knowing that no barriers of walls or door or
ceiling could keep out this host of Presences that poured so thickly
everywhere about him. It was like a wall of being, with peering eyes,
small hands stretched out, a thousand pattering wee feet, and tiny
voices crying in a chorus very faintly and beseeching…. The haunted
room! Was it not, rather, a temple vestibule, prepared and sanctified
by yearning rites few men might ever guess, for all the childless women
of the world? How could she know that he would understand—this woman
he had seen but twice in all his life? And how entrust to him so great
a mystery that was her secret? Had she so easily divined in him a
similar yearning to which, long years ago, death had denied fulfilment?
Was she clairvoyant in the true sense, and did all faces bear on them
so legibly this great map that sorrow traced?…
And then, with awful suddenness, mere feelings dipped away, and
something concrete happened. The handle of the door had faintly
rattled. He turned. The round brass knob was slowly moving. And first,
at the sight, something of common fear did grip him, as though his
heart had missed a beat, but on the instant he heard the voice of his
own mother, now long beyond the stars, calling to him to go softly yet
with speed. He watched a moment the feeble efforts to undo the door,
yet never afterwards could swear that he saw actual movement, for
something in him, tragic as blindness, rose through a mist of tears
and darkened vision utterly….
He went towards the door. He took the handle very gently, and very
softly then he opened it.
Beyond was darkness. He saw the empty passage, the edge of the
banisters where the great hall yawned below, and, dimly, the outline
of the Alpine photograph and the stuffed deer’s head upon the wall.
And then he dropped upon his knees and opened wide his arms to
something that came in upon uncertain, viewless feet. All the young
winds and flowers and dews of dawn passed with it … filling him to
the brim … covering closely his breast and eyes and lips. There clung
to him all the small beginnings of life that cannot stand alone …
the little helpless hands and arms that have no confidence … and
when the wealth of tears and love that flooded his heart seemed to
break upon the frontiers of some mysterious yet impossible fulfilment,
he rose and went with curious small steps towards the window to taste
the cooling, misty air of that other dark Emptiness that waited so
patiently there above the entire world. He drew the sash up. The air
felt soft and tender as though there were somewhere children in it
too—children of stars and flowers, of mists and wings and music, all
that the Universe contains unborn and tiny…. And when at length he
turned again the door was closed. The room was empty of any life but
that which lay so wonderfully blessed within himself. And this, he
felt, had marvelously increased and multiplied….
Sleep then came back to him, and in the morning he left the house
before the others were astir, pleading some overlooked engagement. For
he had seen Ghosts indeed, but yet no ghost that he could talk about
with others round an open fire.
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