You seem to own a little.

Don’t be angry. It is all fair, because you have not acknowledged to me that little. People, I have heard you say, who affect secrets always excite curiosity.

But you proceed with a kind of drawback upon your averment, as if recollection had given you a doubt. You know not yourself, if they be (so much engaged). Was it necessary to say this to me?—and to say it upon your word too? But you know best. Yet you don’t neither, I believe. For a beginning love is acted by a subtle spirit; and oftentimes discovers itself to a bystander when the person possessed (why should I not call it possessed?) knows not it has such a demon.

But further you say, what PREFERABLE favour you may have for him to any other person is owing more to the usage he has received, and for your sake borne, than to any personal consideration.

This is generously said. It is in character. But, oh my friend, depend upon it you are in danger. Depend upon it, whether you know it or not, you are a little in for’t. Your native generosity and greatness of mind endanger you; all your friends by fighting against him with impolitic violence fight for him. And Lovelace, my life for yours, notwithstanding all his veneration and assiduities has seen further than that veneration and those assiduities (so well calculated to your meridian) will let him own he has seen—has seen, in short, that his work is doing for him more effectually than he could do it for himself. And have you not before now said that nothing is so penetrating as the vanity of a lover, since it makes the person who has it frequently see in his own favour what is not, and hardly ever fail of observing what is. And who says Lovelace wants vanity?

In short, my dear, it is my opinion, and that from the easiness of his heart and behaviour that he has seen more than I have seen; more than you think could be seen—more than I believe you yourself know, or else you would have let me know it.

Already, in order to restrain him from resenting the indignities he has received and which are daily offered him, he has prevailed upon you to correspond with him privately. I know he has nothing to boast of from what you have written. But is not his inducing you to receive his letters, and to answer them, a great point gained? By your insisting that he should keep this correspondence private, it appears that there is one secret that you do not wish the world should know; and he is master of that secret. He is indeed himself, as I may say, that secret! What an intimacy does this beget for the lover! How is it distancing the parent!

Yet who, as things are situated, can blame you? Your condescension has no doubt hitherto prevented great mischiefs. It must be continued for the same reasons while the cause remains. You are drawn in by a perverse fate against inclination; but custom, with such laudable purposes, will reconcile the inconveniency and make an inclination. And I would advise you (as you would wish to manage on an occasion so critical with that prudence which governs all your actions) not to be afraid of entering upon a close examination into the true springs and grounds of this your generosity to that happy man.

It is my humble opinion, I tell you frankly, that on inquiry it will come out to be LOVE. Don’t start, my dear!

To be sure Lovelace is a charming fellow. And were he only—But I will not make you glow as you read! Upon my word, I won’t. Yet, my dear, don’t you find at your heart somewhat unusual make it go throb, throb, throb, as you read just here? If you do, don’t be ashamed to own it. It is your generosity, my love! that’s all. But, as the Roman augur said, Caesar, beware of the ides of March!

Adieu, my dearest friend, and forgive; and very speedily by the new-found expedient tell me that you forgive

Your ever-affectionate

ANNA HOWE

Letter 11: MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE TO MISS HOWE

Wednesday, March 1

You both nettled and alarmed me, my dearest Miss Howe, by the concluding part of your last. At first reading it I did not think it necessary, said I to myself, to guard against a critic when I was writing to so dear a friend. But then recollecting myself, is there not more in it, said I, than the result of a vein so naturally lively? Surely I must have been guilty of an inadvertence. Let me enter into the close examination of myself which my beloved friend advises.

I did so, and cannot own any of the glow, any of the throbs you mention. Upon my word, I will repeat, I cannot. And yet the passages in my letter upon which you are so humorously severe lay me fairly open to your agreeable raillery.