But Reiting was able to put his ideas into effect, even if it was only on a small scale for the time being. He was a tyrant, and ruthless in his treatment of anyone who resisted him. His allegiances switched from one day to the next, but the majority was always on his side. That was where his talent lay. One or two years previously he had waged a great battle against Beineberg, in which the latter had been defeated. Beineberg had ended up somewhat isolated, despite the fact that in his judgement of people, in his coldbloodedness and his ability to stir up antipathies towards those he disliked, he was almost a match for his adversary. But he lacked Reiting’s affable, winning qualities. His composure and unctuous philosophizing made almost everyone suspicious of him. Unpleasant depravities of some kind were assumed to lie at the root of his nature. But he had caused Reiting great difficulties, and Reiting’s victory had come about only by chance. Since then they had made common cause for their mutual benefit.
Törless, on the other hand, remained indifferent to these things. Consequently he was not skilled in them. None the less, he had been included in this world, and each day he could plainly see what it meant to have the most important role in such a state - for in such an institute each class is a little state in itself. For that reason he had a certain timid respect for his two friends. His occasional impulses to copy them went no further than dilettante experiments. As a result, being in any case younger than they were, he became something like a pupil or apprentice to them. He enjoyed their protection, but they were happy to listen to his advice. For Törless had the liveliest mind. Once he had set on a course of action, he was extremely fertile when it came to dreaming up the most evasive combinations. No one was as adept as he at predicting the various possibilities that might be thrown up by a person’s behaviour in a particular situation. He failed only when it came to making a decision and, at his own risk, accepting one of the available psychological possibilities as the definite one and acting accordingly; then he lost his interest and had no energy. But he enjoyed his role as a secret chief of staff. All the more so since it was more or less the only one that in any way roused him from his profound internal boredom.
But sometimes he became aware of the cost of this inner dependence. He felt that everything he did was only a game, only something that helped him pass the time of his larval existence at the institute. He felt that it bore no reference to his true nature, which would only come later, at some indefinite point in the future.
When, on certain occasions, he saw how seriously his two friends took these matters, he felt his intellect failing him. He wanted to make fun of them, but was afraid that there was more truth behind their fantasies than he was able to see. In a sense he felt torn between two worlds, one that was solidly respectable, in which everything took place in regular and rational ways, the world to which he was accustomed at home, and a world of adventure, full of darkness, mystery, blood and unimagined surprises. The one seemed to exclude the other. A mocking smile that he would have liked to keep on his lips crossed paths with a shudder running down his spine. His thoughts began to shimmer ...
It was then that he longed finally to feel something definite within himself; to feel solid needs that were capable of telling good from bad, of distinguishing that which might be used from that which was useless; the ability to make a choice, even if one chose incorrectly — rather than absorbing everything indiscriminately ...
When he had walked into the room, that dichotomy within him had overwhelmed him once more, as it always did in this place.
Meanwhile Reiting had started to tell his story:
Basini had owed him money, had kept putting him off from one date to the next, always giving his word of honour.
1 comment