But it does hurt. He claims that doctors don’t know anything about it. I don’t remember him saying what proof he has for that, I just remember him talking a lot about fakirs and how, when they see their souls, they’re supposed to be insensitive to physical pain.’

‘Yes, I know about those ideas; but you yourself said that that wasn’t all.’

‘Certainly not; but I did say I thought this was just a long-winded way of going about it. After that there are always long periods where he says nothing and I don’t know what he’s thinking about. But then he suddenly breaks off and demands that I perform services for him - like a man possessed - much worse than Reiting.’

‘And you do everything he demands of you?’

‘What other option have I? I want to be a respectable person again, and enjoy my peace and quiet.’

‘But you don’t care what’s happened in the meantime?’

‘There’s nothing I can do about it.’

‘Now listen carefully and answer my questions: how come you were capable of stealing?’

‘How come? Look, I urgently needed the money; I owed money to the man in the tuck shop and he wasn’t going to be fobbed off any longer. Then I was absolutely certain that some money was coming my way. None of my classmates would lend me any: some of them had none, and the thrifty ones are delighted when someone who isn’t so good at saving is in trouble by the end of the month. I didn’t want to cheat anyone; I just wanted to borrow the money secretly — ’

‘That’s not what I mean.’ Törless impatiently interrupted the story that was clearly bringing Basini some relief ‘I’m asking how come — how could you do that, how did you feel? What was going on inside you at that moment?’

‘Well - nothing at all. It was just a moment, I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t think about anything, and all of a sudden it had simply happened.’

‘But the first time with Reiting? When he demanded things of you for the first time? Do you understand ... ?’

‘Oh, it was certainly unpleasant, because everything was an order. And then ... just imagine how many people do that kind of thing for fun, and no one knows anything about it. It’s not so bad in comparison.’

‘But you carried out the order. You humiliated yourself As if you would be willing to crawl in the mud because someone else wanted you to.’

‘I admit it. But I had to.’

‘No, you didn’t have to.’

‘They’d have beaten me, they’d have reported me; all kinds of scandals would have landed on my head.’

‘Fine, forget about that. I want to know something else from you. Listen, I know you’ve spent a lot of money at Božna’s. You opened up to her, you bragged to her, you boasted of your manliness. So you want to be a man? Not just with your mouth and your ... but with the whole of your soul? Look, all of a sudden someone asks you to perform a humiliating service like that, and the same moment you feel you’re too cowardly to say no: didn’t your whole being feel torn asunder? Wasn’t there some vague terror, as though something unspeakable had happened inside you?’

‘God, I don’t understand you; I don’t know what you’re after; I can’t say anything to you, anything at all.’

‘Listen to me; now I’m going to order you to get undressed again.’

Basini smiled.

‘To lie flat on the ground in front of me. Don’t laugh! I really am ordering you to do this! Do you hear! If you don’t obey this minute, you’ll see what’s in store for you when Reiting comes back! ... So. You see, you lie down naked on the ground in front of me. You’re trembling; are you cold? I could spit on your naked body right now, if I wanted to. Press your head firmly down on the ground. Doesn’t the dust on the floor look funny? Like a landscape full of clouds and rocks as big as houses? I could prick you with pins. There are some there in the corner, next to the lamp. Do you feel them on your skin? ... But I don’t want to do that. I could make you bark, like Beineberg did, I could make you eat dust like a pig, I could make you move in a particular way - you know — and you would have to sigh: “Oh, my dear mother” -’

But Törless suddenly broke off his sacrilege.