And because I love this life, I
know I shall love death as well.
The child cries out when from the right breast the mother takes it away, in the very next moment to find in the left one its consolation.
96. Chapter
WHEN I go from hence let this be my parting word, that what I have seen is unsurpassable.
I have tasted of the hidden honey of this lotus that expands on the ocean of light, and thus am I blessed—let this be my parting word. In this playhouse of infinite forms I have had my play and here have I caught sight of him that is formless.
My whole body and my limbs have thrilled with his touch who is beyond touch; and if the end comes here, let it come—let this be my parting word.
97. Chapter
WHEN my play was with thee I never questioned who thou wert. I knew nor shyness nor fear, my life was boisterous.
In the early morning thou wouldst call me from my sleep like my own comrade and lead me running from glade to glade.
On those days I never cared to know the meaning of songs thou sangest to me. Only my voice took up the tunes, and my heart danced in their cadence.
Now, when the playtime is over, what is this sudden sight that is come upon me? The world with eyes bent upon thy feet stands in awe with all its silent stars.
98. Chapter
I WILL deck thee with trophies, garlands of my defeat.
It is never in my power to escape unconquered.
I surely know my pride will go to the wall, my life will burst its bonds in exceeding pain, and my empty heart will sob out in music like a hollow reed, and the stone will melt in tears.
I surely know the hundred petals of a lotus will not remain closed for ever and the secret recess of its honey will be bared.
From the blue sky an eye shall gaze upon me and summon me in silence. Nothing will be left for me, nothing whatever, and utter death shall I receive at thy feet.
99. Chapter
WHEN I give up the helm I know that the time hascome for thee to take it. What there is to do will be instantly done. Vain is this struggle.
Then take away your hands and silently put up with your defeat, my heart, and think it your goodfortune to sit perfectly still where you are placed.
These my lamps are blown out at every little puff of wind, and trying to light them I forget all else again and again.
But I shall be wise this time and wait in the dark,spreading my mat on the floor; and whenever it is thy pleasure, my lord, come silently and take thy seat here.
100. Chapter
I DIVE down into the depth of the ocean of forms, hoping to gain the perfect pearl of the formless.
No more sailing from harbour to harbour with this my weather-beaten boat. The days are long passed when my sport was to be tossed on waves.
And now I am eager to die into the deathless. Into the audience hall by the fathomless abyss where swells up the music of toneless strings I shall take this harp of my life.
I shall tune it to the notes of for ever, and, when it has sobbed out its last utterance, lay down my silentharp at the feet of the silent.
101. Chapter
EVER in my life have I sought thee with my songs.
It was they who led me from door to door, and with them have I felt about me, searching and touching my world.
It was my songs that taught me all the lessons I ever learnt; they showed me secret paths, they brought before my sight many a star on the horizon of my heart.
They guided me all the day long to the mysteries of the country of pleasure and pain, and, at last, to what palace gate have they brought me in the evening at the end of my journey?
102. Chapter
I BOASTED among men that I had known you. They see your pictures in all works of mine. They come and ask me, “Who is he?”
I know not how to answer them.
I say, “Indeed, I cannot tell.” They blame me and they go away in scorn. And you sit there smiling.
I put my tales of you into lasting songs. The secret gushes out from my heart. They come and ask me,
“Tell me all your meanings.”
I know not how to answer them. I say, “Ah, who knows what they mean!” They smile and go away in utter scorn. And you sit there smiling.
103. Chapter
IN one salutation to thee, my God, let all my senses spread out and touch this world at thy feet.
Like a rain-cloud of July hung low with its burden of unshed showers let all my mind bend down at thy door in one salutation to thee.
Let all my songs gather together their diverse strains into a single current and flow to a sea of silence in one salutation to thee.
Like a flock of homesick cranes flying night and day back to their mountain nests let all my life take its voyage to its eternal home in one salutation to thee.
Index Of First Words
Art thou abroad on this stormy night
At this time of my parting, wish me good luck
Beautiful is thy wristlet, decked with stars
By all means they try to hold me secure
Clouds heap upon clouds
Day after day, O lord of my life, shall I stand
Death, thy servant, is at my door
Deity of the ruined temple! The broken strings
Deliverance is not for me in renunciation
Early in the day it was whispered
Ever in my life have I sought thee
Have you not heard his silent steps?
He came and sat by my side
He it is, the innermost one
He whom I enclose with my name is weeping
Here is thy footstool
I am here to sing thee songs
I am like a remnant of a cloud of autumn
I am only waiting for love
I ask for a moment’s indulgence
I asked nothing from thee; I uttered not
I boasted among men that I had known you
I came out alone on my way
I dive down into the depth of the ocean
I had gone a-begging from door to door
I have got my leave. Bid me farewell
I have had my invitation
I know not from what distant time
I know not how thou singest, my master!
I know that the day will come when my sight
I know thee as my God and stand apart
I must launch out my boat
I thought I should ask of thee—but I dared not
I thought that my voyage had come to its end
I was not aware of the moment
I will deck thee with trophies
If it is not my portion to meet thee
If the day is done, if birds sing no more
If thou speakest not I will fill my heart
In desperate hope I go and search for her
In one salutation to thee, my God
In the deep shadows of the rainy July
In the night of weariness let me give myself up
Is it beyond thee to be glad with the gladness
It is the pang of separation
Langour is upon your heart
Leave this chanting and singing
Let all the strains of joy mingle in my last song
Let only that little be left of me
Life of my life, I shall ever try
Light, my light, the world-filling light
Light, oh where is the light?
Mother, I shall weave a chain of pearls
My desires are many and my cry is pitiful
My song has put off her adornments
No more noisy, loud words from me
O fool, to try to carry thyself
O Thou the last fulfilment of life
Obstinate are the trammels
On many an idle day have I grieved
On the day when death will knock at thy door
On the day when the lotus bloomed
On the seashore of endless worlds children meet
On the slope of the desolate river among tall grasses
Pluck this little flower
Prisoner, tell me, who was it
She who ever had remained in the depth
That I should make much of myself
That I want thee, only thee
The child who is decked with prince’s robes
The day is no more, the shadow is upon the earth
The day was when I did not keep myself
The morning sea of silence broke into ripples
The night darkened. Our day’s works had been done
The night is nearly spent waiting for him
The rain has held back for days and days
The same stream of life that runs through my veins
The sleep that flits on baby’s eyes
The song that I came to sing remains unsung
The time that my journey takes is long
This is my delight, thus to wait and watch
This is my prayer to thee, my lord
Thou art the sky and thou art the nest
Thou hast made me endless
Thou hast made me known to friends whom I knew not
Thus it is that the joy in me is so full
Thy gifts to us mortals fulfil all our needs
Thy sunbeam comes upon this earth of mine
Time is endless in thy hands, my lord
What divine drink wouldst thou have, my God
When I bring to you coloured toys, my child
When I give up the helm I know that the time has come
When I go from hence let this be my parting word
When it was day they came into my house
When my play was with thee I never questioned
When the creation was new and all the stars shone
When the heart is hard and parched up
When the warriors came out first
When thou commandest me to sing
Where dost thou stand behind them all
Where the mind is without fear
Yes, I know, this is nothing but thy love
You came down from your throne
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