Online dating, however, was a whole different ballgame. Susie had bullied her into looking at it with her over the weekend. They had scanned the websites together and had tried to work out what they needed to do.

‘Who are these people?’ Rory had been quite incredulous at the photographs people chose to use to promote themselves to their potential future life partners. Some of them looked like they were auditioning for the adult channel, whilst others decided that they would be most attractive atop a camel or beside a national monument. One picture looked like it had been taken in the Amazonian rainforest and the man in question was a tiny dot way in the distance. ‘That’s either an attempt at irony or he has got some serious self-esteem issues.’

‘Maybe we shouldn’t look at the photographs.’ Susie kept scrolling through the list. ‘Let’s read their descriptions instead.’

This was worse. ‘“I love long walks in the countryside”,’ read Rory. ‘That’s the tenth one who says that. Maybe they should be thinking about getting a dog rather than a girlfriend?’

‘What about this one?’ Susie looked hopeful as she read. ‘“I’ve dated many women, but I am still searching for my soulmate.”’

‘Clearly wants someone to agree with everything he says.’ Rory leaned over the keyboard and hit return. ‘Next.’

‘How about this one? “Recently divorced, I am looking for that special lady who will help to mend my broken heart.”’

‘Rebound. Next.’

‘“Open minded, and seeking adventure, I would love to meet a woman who wants to try new things.”’

‘Swinger. Susie, I don’t think this is going to be for me. I can’t even face writing my description. Anyway, it’s too risky for us. What if one of the kids from school found us online? The humiliation! We’d have to leave the county.’

‘Maybe you’re right. But if you won’t try speed dating and we’re not going to do online, you have to promise that we will start going out more. You might be happy expending your energy with a paint brush or a hammer, but I need to meet someone soon or I am going to start walking funny.’

Rory had duly promised that she would go out more but she was starting to regret it already. She had had about the same success with choosing the right man as she was having with choosing these screws. She didn’t have a clue which ones she would need to buy and couldn’t afford to start buying materials which turned out to be useless. Although she had the money her mum had insisted on giving her, it was safely in a separate account and she was only going to use it for emergencies. Like that damn rewiring.

Walking to the end of the aisle, she found an assistant who seemed to be idly raking through a tray of metal. May as well give him something more productive to do. ‘Excuse me, could you give me some help? I need to know which screws will fix a skirting board to a wall.’

Without any particular rush, he ambled over to her before crouching forward slightly and squinting at the display. He must have just come from the warehouse because his trousers were covered in dust and his boots were splattered in different types of paint. Rory could imagine him hefting boxes around; he had the shoulders for it. Maybe this was B&Q’s new marketing strategy to attract more female customers: good-looking sales assistants. This one could almost be auditioning for a builders and decorators calendar shoot. He was upright again and holding something out to her.