Thus his life interest in the matter is five
thousand refreshments, while hers is a hundred and fifty thousand; yet
instead of fairly and honorably leaving the making of the law to the person
who has an overwhelming interest at stake in it, this immeasurable hog,
who has nothing at stake in it worth considering, makes it himself!
You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool;
you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.
Now if you or any other really intelligent person were arranging the
fairness and justices between man and woman, you would give the man one-fiftieth
interest in one woman, and the woman a harem. Now wouldn't you? Necessarily.
I give you my word, this creature with the decrepit candle has arranged
it exactly the other way. Solomon, who was one of the Deity's favorites,
had a copulation cabinet composed of seven hundred wives and three hundred
concubines. To save his life he could not have
kept two of these young creatures satisfactorily refreshed, even if he
had had fifteen experts to help him. Necessarily almost the entire thousand
had to go hungry years and years on a stretch. Conceive of a man hardhearted
enough to look daily upon all that suffering and not be moved to mitigate
it. He even wantonly added a sharp pang to that pathetic misery; for he
kept within those women's sight, always, stalwart watchmen whose splendid
masculine forms made the poor lassies' mouths water but who hadn't anything
to solace a candlestick with, these gentry being eunuchs. A eunuch is a
person whose candle has been put out. By art.[**]
From time to time, as I go along, I will take up a Biblical statute
and show you that it always violates a law of God, and then is imported
into the lawbooks of the nations, where it continues its violations. But
those things will keep; there is no hurry.
Letter IX
The Ark continued its voyage, drifting around here and there and yonder,
compassless and uncontrolled, the sport of the random winds and swirling
currents. And the rain, the rain, the rain! It kept falling, pouring, drenching,
flooding. No such rain had ever been seen before. Sixteen inches a day
had been heard of, but that was nothing to this. This was a hundred and
twenty inches a day -- ten feet! At this incredible rate it rained forty
days and forty nights, and submerged every hill that was four hundred feet
high. Then the heavens and even the angels went dry; no more water was
to be had.
As a Universal flood it was a disappointment, but there had been heaps
of Universal Floods before, as is witnessed by all the Bibles of all the
nations, and this was as good as the best one.
At last the Ark soared aloft and came to rest on top of Mount Ararat,
seventeen thousand feet above the valley, and its living freight got out
and went down the mountain.
Noah planted a vineyard, and drank the wine and was overcome.
This person had been selected from all the populations because he was
the best sample there was. He was to start the human race on a new basis.
This was the new basis. The promise was bad. To go further with the experiment
was to run a great and most unwise risk. Now was the time to do with these
people what had been so judiciously done with the others -- drown them.
Anybody but the Creator would have seen this. But he didn't see it. That
is, maybe he didn't.
It is claimed that from the beginning of time he foresaw everything
that would happen in the world. If that is true, he foresaw that Adam and
Eve would eat the apple; that their posterity would be unendurable and
have to be drowned; that Noah's posterity would in their turn be unendurable,
and that by and by he would have to leave his throne in heaven and come
down and be crucified to save that same tiresome human race again. The
whole of it? No! A part of it? Yes.
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