To my great astonishment it ran as follows: –

“MY DEAR ROBERTS,

“How do you do? I hope you will excuse me for troubling you on this occasion; but I want to ax you a partic’lar question. Is you acquainted with the man who is a-goin’ to give a sing in your town to-night? If you be, jist say to him, from me, that if he will come over here, we will get him up a house. If he will – or won’t cum – please let me know. I am teaching a singing school over here, and I can do a great deal for him, if he will only cum.

“Yours, most respectfully,
“JOHN BROWNE.”

“You had better go, Mr. H—,” said Roberts. “This John Browne is a queer chap, and I promise you lots of fun. If you decide upon going we will all accompany you, and help to fill your house.”

“By all means,” said I. “You will do me a great favour to return an answer to the professional gentleman to that effect. I will send him some of my programmes, and if he can get a tolerable piano, I will go over and give them a concert next Saturday evening.”

The note and the bills of performance were duly despatched to —, and the next morning we received an answer from the singing master to say that all was right, and that Mr. Browne would be happy to give Mr. H—his valuable assistance; but, if possible, he wished that I could come out on Friday, instead of Saturday, as his school met on that evening at six o’clock, and he would like me to witness the performance of his scholars, which would only last from five in the evening till six, and consequently need not interfere at all with my concert, which was to commence at eight.

We ordered a conveyance immediately, and as it was the very day signified in the note, we started off for the village of—. On our arrival we were met at the door of the only hotel in the place, by the man a “leetle in my line.”

“Is this you, Mr. Thing-a-my. I can’t for the life of me think of your name. But no matter. Ain’t you the chap as is a-goin’ to give us the con-sort this evening?”

I answered in the affirmative, and he continued

“What a leetle fellow you be. Now I stand six feet four inches in my boots, and my voice is high in proportion. But I s’pose you can sing. Small fellows allers make a great noise. A bantam roaster allers crows as loud as an old game crower, to make folks believe that the dung-hill is his’n.”

I was very much amused at his comparing me to a bantam cock, and felt almost inclined to clap my wings and crow.

“I have sent all your bills about town,” continued the odd man, “and invited all the tip-tops to cum and hear you. I have engaged a good room, and a forty pound pee-a-ne. I s’pose it’s worth as much, for ‘tis a terrible smart one. It belongs to Deacon S—; and his two daughters are the prettiest galls hereabouts. They play ‘Old Dan Tucker,’ and all manner of tunes. I found it deuced hard to get the old woman’s consent; but I knew she wouldn’t refuse me, as she is looking out to cotch me for one of the daughters. She made many objections – said that she would rather the cheese-press and the cook-stove, and all the rest of the furniture went out of the house than the pee-a-ne, as she afear’d that the strings would break, and all the keys spill out by the way. The strings are rusty, and keys loose enough already. I told the old missus that I would take good care that the right side was kept uppermost; and that if any harm happened to the instrument, you could set it all right agin.”

“I am sorry,” said I, “to hear such a poor account of the instrument. It is impossible to sing well to a bad piano –”

“Phoo, phoo, man! there’s nobody here that ever he’rd a better. Bad or good, it’s the only one in the village.