I want to visit a little with Agnes, then I've got to
drive back to John's."
"Wal, we must be goin'. Don't you leave them dishes f't me to
wash," she screamed at Agnes as she went out the door. "An' if we
don't get home by five, them caaves orter be fed."
As Agnes stood at the door to watch them drive away, Will studied
her, a smothering ache in his heart as he saw how thin and bent
and weary she was. In his soul he felt that she was a dying woman
unless she had rest and tender care.
As she turned, she saw something in his face-a pity and an agony
of self-accusation-that made her weak and white. She sank into a
chair, putting her hand on her chest, as if she felt a failing of
breath. Then the blood came back to her face, and her eyes filled
with tears.
"Don't-don't look at me like that," she said in a whisper. His pity
hurt her.
At sight of her sitting there pathetic, abashed, bewildered, like
some gentle animal, Will's throat contracted so that he could not
speak. His voice came at last in one terrible cry-"Oh, Agnes! for
God's sake forgive me!" He knelt by
her side and put his arm about her shoulders and kissed her bowed
head. A curious numbness involved his whole body; his voice was
husky, the tears burned in his eyes. His whole soul and body ached
with his pity and remorseful, self-accusing wrath.
"It was all my fault. Lay it all to me. .. I am the one to bear it. . . .
Oh, I've dreamed a thousand times of sayin' this to you, Aggie! I
thought if I could only see you again and ask your forgiveness, I'd-"
He ground his teeth together in his assault upon himself. "I threw
my life away an' killed you-that's what I did!"
He rose and raged up and down the room till he had mastered
himself.
"What did you think I meant that day of the thrashing?" he said,
turning suddenly. He spoke of it as if it were but a month or two
past.
She lifted her head and looked at him in a slow way. She seemed
to be remembering. The tears lay on her hollow cheeks.
"I thought you was ashamed of me. I didn't know-why-"
He uttered a snarl of sell-disgust.
"You couldn't know. Nobody could tell what I meant. But why
didn't you write? I was ready to come back. I only wanted an
excuse-only a line."
"How could I, Will-after your letter?"
He groaned and turned away.
"And Will, I-I got mad too. I couldn't write."
"Oh, that letter-I can see every line of it! F'r God's sake, don't think
of it again! But I didn't think, even when I wrote that letter, that I'd
find you where you are. I didn't think, I hoped anyhow, Ed Kinney
wouldn't-"
She stopped him with a startled look in her great eyes. "Don't talk
about him-it ain't right. I mean it don't do any good. What could I
do, after Father died? Mother and I. Besides, I waited three years
to hear from you, Will."
He gave a strange, choking cry.
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