What you call your youth is nothing but your levity. Why do we get on so well together? Because I'm a young cub and youre an old josser. _[He throws a cushion at Hypatia's feet and sits down on it with his back against her knees]._

TARLETON. Old! Thats all you know about it, my lad. How do, Patsy! [Hypatia kisses him]. How is my Chickabiddy? _[He kisses Mrs Tarleton's hand and poses expansively in the middle of the picture]._ Look at me! Look at these wrinkles, these gray hairs, this repulsive mask that you call old age! What is it? [Vehemently] I ask you, what is it?

BENTLEY. Jolly nice and venerable, old man. Dont be discouraged.

TARLETON. Nice? Not a bit of it. Venerable? Venerable be blowed! Read your Darwin, my boy. Read your Weismann. _[He goes to the sideboard for a drink of lemonade]._

MRS TARLETON. For shame, John! Tell him to read his Bible.

TARLETON. [manipulating the syphon] Whats the use of telling children to read the Bible when you know they wont. I was kept away from the Bible for forty years by being told to read it when I was young. Then I picked it up one evening in a hotel in Sunderland when I had left all my papers in the train; and I found it wasnt half bad. [He drinks, and puts down the glass with a smack of enjoyment]. Better than most halfpenny papers, anyhow, if only you could make people believe it. _[He sits down by the writing-table, near his wife]._ But if you want to understand old age scientifically, read Darwin and Weismann. Of course if you want to understand it romantically, read about Solomon.

MRS TARLETON. Have you had tea, John?

TARLETON. Yes. Dont interrupt me when I'm improving the boy's mind. Where was I? This repulsive mask--Yes. [Explosively] What is death?

MRS TARLETON. John!

HYPATIA. Death is a rather unpleasant subject, papa.

TARLETON. Not a bit. Not scientifically. Scientifically it's a delightful subject.