As he approached
it he heard, in the very far distance, the crackle of rifle shots. It spurred
him, matching his own feeling of excitement in what he was doing—
walking at this late hour (and he disliked walking at any hour) through the
unknown streets of an unknown city. A mysterious schizophrenic city, he
reflected, passing the suburban villas one after the other, each one dark and
silent, while a few miles away on roof-tops a handful of zealots risked their
lives to make history. He could not help thinking of it theatrically—
the vast populous inertia of the sleeping suburbs as a background to the
silhouette of the lone man wide awake with a gun. The idea fascinated, then
grew larger as he tried to imagine the play whose staging he had already
pictured with the eye of his mind. He had no political intelligence, but for
that reason he sometimes caught a whiff of events that the analysts and
short-range tipsters missed.
When he reached the house he was surprised to see lights in several of the
windows, both upstairs and down. He walked up the short path to the porch and
dropped both book and note in the letter-box as quietly as he could. But
someone must have heard, for before he reached the street again the front
door opened and Carey’s voice called out: “Who is it?” Her voice sounded
curious rather than startled. He turned back a few paces into the zone of
light from the doorway; then she came rushing out to him with an eagerness
equally curious. “PAUL!… Won’t you come in?” That startled HIM. She almost
dragged him into the house, leading the way to a small room opening off the
narrow lobby—a den, it could have been called, with an old fashioned
roll-top desk, shabby chairs, and of all things, a complicated gymnastic
apparatus of ropes and pulleys. He felt again the overmastering physical ease
of being in her presence, the relief of finding her eager to see him despite
the fiasco of the cancelled trip; but in addition there was a strangeness he
was just faintly aware of, a tension in her face and attitude that he had not
seen before.
He began rapidly: “You must think me crazy to be here this time of night,
but the fact is, I’m leaving for London early tomorrow and I wanted to return
the book… I wrote this note too—never thought I’d see you… nothing
important in it—mostly about the book.”
“The book?”
“Martin Chuzzlewit… don’t you remember?”
She answered, almost dreamily: “I didn’t know you knew where I lived.”
“That was in the book, too—on a library card.”
“A LIBRARY book? Oh yes, I do remember… Would you—would you care
for a drink?”
“Thanks, no—I’ll have to be going in a minute. Must have some sleep.
The boat sails at eight.”
“Why are you going away so soon?”
“My editor cabled me. I’ve got to do a job for him in Italy.”
“Italy? And before you’ve finished all you wanted to do here?”
“Looks like it. I certainly haven’t done much, have I? And I’m specially
sorry about Glendalough.”
“That couldn’t be helped—you had the party instead. Was it
interesting?”
“Very—but I was missing Glendalough all the time.” How untrue that
was, and yet how revealing, even to himself, of the truth; for it was now,
with her in that small room, that he was acutely missing something, of which
Glendalough could well stand as a name and symbol. “If I’d guessed it would
be my last chance, I don’t know but what—”
“Oh no, you couldn’t possibly. And it was just as well.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because…” She hesitated, then chattered on: “You’ll probably get to
hear about it… no, you wouldn’t, though, if you’re leaving so soon. Anyhow,
it’s nothing that affects you, but if we HAD gone to Glendalough it would
have been worse… for me.”
“For YOU?”
“I’m sorry—it’s my fault for not getting to the point…” She seemed
to steady herself as if for the repetition of a lesson, then said in a level
voice: “My stepfather died this morning.”
“WHAT?” He stared at her, disturbed by her look and manner as much as by
what she had said. “Carey! Oh, I’m sorry… Had he been ill? You didn’t tell
me… was it sudden?… But if you’d rather not talk about it…”
“I don’t mind… He was all right, early this morning—I saw him
before he left for eight-o’clock mass at St. Peter’s—that’s the long
mass. I went to the nine o’clock at St. Columba’s—that’s the short one.
I was back here by half-past ten after meeting you, and I could see he was
back, too, and had had his breakfast—then I heard the water running in
the bath upstairs. The water’s never hot enough early in the morning, so on
Sundays…”
She hesitated as if the details were becoming too trivial, and he made a
murmur of encouragement.
“Well, it became a sort of Sunday treat—he always stayed in the bath
a long time and had his grammar books with him—he was learning
Gaelic… After the water stopped running I heard him saying over the
words… but he was there so long I began to wonder if anything was the
matter, so I called out and knocked at the door, but there was no reply. Mrs.
Kennedy—she’s the housekeeper we’ve had since my mother died— she
said he’d been all right at breakfast—quite chatty and cheerful with
her. But after a time I told her I was nervous, so we broke the lock and
found him… in the bath… he was dead by then.”
She paused breathlessly and he made haste to offer the only comfort he
could think of. “Carey, I know there’s nothing I can say that can really
help, but of all the ways to die, it might have been the easiest—a
fainting fit—suddenly—the hot bath on top of a meal— “
“No, I don’t think it was that.”
“Why… why not?”
“It wasn’t LIKE that.” She gave him a strained look.
“What did the doctor say?”
“He said what you said—more or less. But I still don’t think
—”
“Did you tell him you didn’t?”
“No, I haven’t told anybody that—till now.”
“Carey, what’s on your mind?”
She said in a level voice again: “I think he killed himself.”
“But—how—why—what on earth makes you… Look here, you’d
better tell me what really IS on your mind.”
She went on: “He had asthma sometimes. He took pills for it with opium in
them, and the doctor told him never to take more than two at a time, no
matter how bad the attack was. They were in a little bottle that he carried
in his vest pocket.
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