On his time off he wandered all over London, visiting
museums and art galleries, but his secret contempt for the who, what, and
when of military life made him fumble into all kinds of trouble about dress
and saluting. He got to know a few girls, one of whom, chance-met in the next
seat at a concert, became a friend until she had waited for him once outside
the army office and been shocked by overheard badinage. Neither of them had
had enough importance to the other to be able to think it merely funny. He
had made one man friend also, an English policeman who sometimes idled into
the office at nights for a chat over the stove. The policeman had a sister in
Alberta and a romantic feeling about America as a whole. He took Paul several
times to supper at his little house near the Angel, Islington. Paul liked him
from the moment he had said: “If I ‘ad your job, mate, I’d shoot meself.
‘Avin’ to put up with all them jokes from them officers and no chawnce to
answer back—it’s worse’n bein’ a bloody bar-tender. Specially when they
all think you’ve got it so cushy.” It was true; he knew how he was envied by
some of the men on their way to the Front, and how little they guessed there
could be any way in which he envied them. Yet he did, and then he didn’t, so
many times; there had been conflict, even in those days, between physical
distaste (fear, too, but no more than anyone else had) and a mental longing
to put himself to the test, to find out if he could face what other men
faced.
And now, four years later, he entered Euston Station, happily remembering
how miserable he had been.
* * * * *
As soon as he saw her he knew that their relationship was
on a different
level, established at the house in Terenure that night, but since fortified
by time, absence, and—who could say?—perhaps by a telepathy of
awareness between them. She rushed up to him in the station hall and laughed
her first words above the din of porters and luggage trucks. “Oh,
Paul—Paul—I never dreamed I’d see you so soon—I didn’t know
how to answer your letters at first—they sounded so cold, as if you
didn’t want to see me again, but then when you said you did— “
“Carey, I did—I do—I’ve missed you—in such an
extraordinary way. Carey, you look unbelievable… Had dinner? No? Nor have
I. This aunt of yours in Putney can wait… Where’s your luggage? Just the
one bag? We’ll take it along, then.”
They drove to a small French restaurant in Lisle Street that he knew of
—quiet, informal, expensive. He had economized by staying at the
Ellesmere, but now he would be extravagant—he would ask Merryweather
for more work, would write a hundred articles, would interview Lenin, Gandhi,
Bernard Shaw, Suzanne Lenglen—the whole who’s who of the world. That
was his mood as he consulted the menu. Normally he was no gourmet, and his
appetite was voracious rather than fastidious. But now he suddenly hankered
after delicacies—terrapin, caviare, frogs’ legs—careless of how
they mixed or what they cost; and it was she, in tune with his emotion yet
thinking of his pocket-book, who talked him out of the wilder whims.
Eventually he compromised on smoked salmon, poulet en casserole, and a bottle
of Heidsieck—forgetting that Rowden had called champagne a wine for
cocottes. And meanwhile they talked almost antiphonally, as if their
respective concerns matched each other—his failure in Rome, her own
bereavement in Dublin; the Magic Flute in Paris, a new play at the Abbey in
which (sure enough) she had been offered the fourteen-year-old part. But she
had had to turn it down in order to come to London. She didn’t care—
any more than he cared about Merryweather’s disappointment. It was one of the
few times in his life he had found anyone who could talk as much as he did
without seeming to interrupt or to wait anxiously for chances to butt in; a
musical simile again occurred to him—that they were somehow improvising
on a keyboard of speech while their underlying thoughts made deeper harmony
in what was left unsaid.
Over the coffee he remembered that aunt of hers. “Carey, hadn’t you better
telephone you’ll be late?”
“She doesn’t know I’m coming at all till I do telephone.”
“She doesn’t? Oh, fine. Then we don’t have to worry, except that if the
old lady goes to bed early—”
“She’s not old. She’s not much older than I am.”
“No?”
“My mother was the eldest of fifteen and Sylvia’s the youngest. She’s
married to a landscape gardener. They have three children and I don’t know
how many dogs—they breed them—wire-haired terriers all over the
place. It’s good for children to live in an atmosphere like that. They’ve won
any amount of prizes. The dogs, I mean.” She made a grimace. “All this must
be so enthralling to you.
1 comment