To tell you true, I counterfeit him.

Ursula. You could never do him so ill-well unless you were the very man. Here’s his dry° hand up and down. You are he, you are he!

Antonio. At a word I am not.

Ursula. Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are he. Graces will appear, and there’s an end.

Beatrice. Will you not tell me who told you so?

Benedick. No, you shall pardon me.

Beatrice: Nor will you not tell me who you are?

Benedick. Not now.

Beatrice. That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit out of the “Hundred Merry Tales.”° Well, this was Signior Benedick that said so.

114 waggling i.e., palsy

117 dry dried-up (with age)

Benedick. What’s he?

Beatrice. I am sure you know him well enough.

Benedick. Not I, believe me.

Beatrice. Did he never make you laugh?

Benedick. I pray you, what is he?

Beatrice. Why, he is the Prince’s jester, a very dull fool. Only his° gift is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines delight in him, and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villainy; for he both pleases men and angers them, and then they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in the fleet;° I would he had boarded me.

Benedick. When I know the gentleman, I’ll tell him what you say.

Beatrice. Do, do. He’ll but break a comparison or two on me; which peradventure (not marked or not laughed at), strikes him into melancholy, and then there’s a partridge wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper that night. [Music.] We must follow the leaders.

Benedick. In every good thing.

Beatrice. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next turning.

Dance. Exeunt [all except Don John,
Borachio and Claudio].

Don John. Sure my brother is amorous on Hero and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The ladies follow her and but one visor remains.

129 Hundred Merry Tales a popular collection of amusing, coarse anecdotes

137 Only his his only

142 fleet group (the related meaning, group of ships, leads to boarded me, but perhaps too there is an allusion to Fleet Prison)

Borachio. And that is Claudio. I know him by his bearing.

Don John. Are not you Signior Benedick?

Claudio. You know me well. I am he.

Don John. Signior, you are very near my brother in his love. He is enamored on Hero. I pray you dissuade him from her; she is no equal for his birth. You may do the part of an honest man in it.

Claudio. How know you he loves her?

Don John. I heard him swear his affection.

Borachio. So did I too, and he swore he would marry her tonight.

Don John. Come, let us to the banquet.°

Exeunt. Manet Claudio.

Claudio. Thus answer I in name of Benedick But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. ‘Tis certain so. The Prince woos for himself. Friendship is constant in all other things Save in the office° and affairs of love. Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues; Let every eye negotiate for itself And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.° This is an accident of hourly proof,° Which I mistrusted not. Farewell therefore Hero!

Enter Benedick.

Benedick. Count Claudio?

Claudio. Yea, the same.

Benedick. Come, will you go with me?

169 banquet light meal, or course, of fruit, wine, and dessert

174 office business

178 blood passion, desire

179 accident of hourly proof common happening

Claudio. Whither?

Benedick. Even to the next° willow,° about your own business, County.° What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your neck, like an usurer’s chain? Or under your arm, like a lieutenant’s scarf? You must wear it one way, for the Prince hath got your Hero.

Claudio. I wish him joy of her.

Benedick. Why, that’s spoken like an honest drovier.° So they sell bullocks. But did you think the Prince would have served you thus?

Claudio. I pray you leave me.

Benedick. Ho! Now you strike like the blind man! ‘Twas the boy that stole your meat, and you’ll beat the post.°

Claudio. If it will not be, I’ll leave you. Exit.

Benedick. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will he creep into sedges. But, that my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The Prince’s fool! Ha! It may be I go under that title because I am merry. Yea, but so I am apt to do myself wrong. I am not so reputed.