The
men shouted; the ladies wept into their pocket-handkerchiefs till
they were moist, and waved them till they were dry; the excitement
was tremendous; and Mr Nickleby whispered his friend that the
shares were thenceforth at a premium of five-and-twenty per
cent.
The resolution was, of course, carried with loud acclamations,
every man holding up both hands in favour of it, as he would in his
enthusiasm have held up both legs also, if he could have
conveniently accomplished it. This done, the draft of the proposed
petition was read at length: and the petition said, as all
petitions DO say, that the petitioners were very humble, and the
petitioned very honourable, and the object very virtuous; therefore
(said the petition) the bill ought to be passed into a law at once,
to the everlasting honour and glory of that most honourable and
glorious Commons of England in Parliament assembled.
Then, the gentleman who had been at Crockford's all night, and
who looked something the worse about the eyes in consequence, came
forward to tell his fellow-countrymen what a speech he meant to
make in favour of that petition whenever it should be presented,
and how desperately he meant to taunt the parliament if they
rejected the bill; and to inform them also, that he regretted his
honourable friends had not inserted a clause rendering the purchase
of muffins and crumpets compulsory upon all classes of the
community, which he—opposing all half-measures, and preferring to
go the extreme animal—pledged himself to propose and divide upon,
in committee. After announcing this determination, the honourable
gentleman grew jocular; and as patent boots, lemon-coloured kid
gloves, and a fur coat collar, assist jokes materially, there was
immense laughter and much cheering, and moreover such a brilliant
display of ladies' pocket-handkerchiefs, as threw the grievous
gentleman quite into the shade.
And when the petition had been read and was about to be adopted,
there came forward the Irish member (who was a young gentleman of
ardent temperament,) with such a speech as only an Irish member can
make, breathing the true soul and spirit of poetry, and poured
forth with such fervour, that it made one warm to look at him; in
the course whereof, he told them how he would demand the extension
of that great boon to his native country; how he would claim for
her equal rights in the muffin laws as in all other laws; and how
he yet hoped to see the day when crumpets should be toasted in her
lowly cabins, and muffin bells should ring in her rich green
valleys. And, after him, came the Scotch member, with various
pleasant allusions to the probable amount of profits, which
increased the good humour that the poetry had awakened; and all the
speeches put together did exactly what they were intended to do,
and established in the hearers' minds that there was no speculation
so promising, or at the same time so praiseworthy, as the United
Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual
Delivery Company.
So, the petition in favour of the bill was agreed upon, and the
meeting adjourned with acclamations, and Mr Nickleby and the other
directors went to the office to lunch, as they did every day at
half-past one o'clock; and to remunerate themselves for which
trouble, (as the company was yet in its infancy,) they only charged
three guineas each man for every such attendance.
CHAPTER 3
Mr Ralph Nickleby receives Sad Tidings of his Brother, but bears
up nobly against the Intelligence communicated to him. The Reader
is informed how he liked Nicholas, who is herein introduced, and
how kindly he proposed to make his Fortune at once
Having rendered his zealous assistance towards dispatching the
lunch, with all that promptitude and energy which are among the
most important qualities that men of business can possess, Mr Ralph
Nickleby took a cordial farewell of his fellow-speculators, and
bent his steps westward in unwonted good humour. As he passed St
Paul's he stepped aside into a doorway to set his watch, and with
his hand on the key and his eye on the cathedral dial, was intent
upon so doing, when a man suddenly stopped before him. It was
Newman Noggs.
'Ah! Newman,' said Mr Nickleby, looking up as he pursued his
occupation. 'The letter about the mortgage has come, has it? I
thought it would.'
'Wrong,' replied Newman.
'What! and nobody called respecting it?' inquired Mr Nickleby,
pausing. Noggs shook his head.
'What HAS come, then?' inquired Mr Nickleby.
'I have,' said Newman.
'What else?' demanded the master, sternly.
'This,' said Newman, drawing a sealed letter slowly from his
pocket. 'Post-mark, Strand, black wax, black border, woman's hand,
C. N. in the corner.'
'Black wax?' said Mr Nickleby, glancing at the letter. 'I know
something of that hand, too. Newman, I shouldn't be surprised if my
brother were dead.'
'I don't think you would,' said Newman, quietly.
'Why not, sir?' demanded Mr Nickleby.
'You never are surprised,' replied Newman, 'that's all.'
Mr Nickleby snatched the letter from his assistant, and fixing a
cold look upon him, opened, read it, put it in his pocket, and
having now hit the time to a second, began winding up his
watch.
'It is as I expected, Newman,' said Mr Nickleby, while he was
thus engaged. 'He IS dead. Dear me! Well, that's sudden thing. I
shouldn't have thought it, really.' With these touching expressions
of sorrow, Mr Nickleby replaced his watch in his fob, and, fitting
on his gloves to a nicety, turned upon his way, and walked slowly
westward with his hands behind him.
'Children alive?' inquired Noggs, stepping up to him.
'Why, that's the very thing,' replied Mr Nickleby, as though his
thoughts were about them at that moment. 'They are both alive.'
'Both!' repeated Newman Noggs, in a low voice.
'And the widow, too,' added Mr Nickleby, 'and all three in
London, confound them; all three here, Newman.'
Newman fell a little behind his master, and his face was
curiously twisted as by a spasm; but whether of paralysis, or
grief, or inward laughter, nobody but himself could possibly
explain. The expression of a man's face is commonly a help to his
thoughts, or glossary on his speech; but the countenance of Newman
Noggs, in his ordinary moods, was a problem which no stretch of
ingenuity could solve.
'Go home!' said Mr Nickleby, after they had walked a few paces:
looking round at the clerk as if he were his dog. The words were
scarcely uttered when Newman darted across the road, slunk among
the crowd, and disappeared in an instant.
'Reasonable, certainly!' muttered Mr Nickleby to himself, as he
walked on, 'very reasonable! My brother never did anything for me,
and I never expected it; the breath is no sooner out of his body
than I am to be looked to, as the support of a great hearty woman,
and a grown boy and girl. What are they to me! I never saw
them.'
Full of these, and many other reflections of a similar kind, Mr
Nickleby made the best of his way to the Strand, and, referring to
his letter as if to ascertain the number of the house he wanted,
stopped at a private door about half-way down that crowded
thoroughfare.
A miniature painter lived there, for there was a large gilt
frame screwed upon the street-door, in which were displayed, upon a
black velvet ground, two portraits of naval dress coats with faces
looking out of them, and telescopes attached; one of a young
gentleman in a very vermilion uniform, flourishing a sabre; and one
of a literary character with a high forehead, a pen and ink, six
books, and a curtain. There was, moreover, a touching
representation of a young lady reading a manuscript in an
unfathomable forest, and a charming whole length of a large-headed
little boy, sitting on a stool with his legs fore-shortened to the
size of salt-spoons. Besides these works of art, there were a great
many heads of old ladies and gentlemen smirking at each other out
of blue and brown skies, and an elegantly written card of terms
with an embossed border.
Mr Nickleby glanced at these frivolities with great contempt,
and gave a double knock, which, having been thrice repeated, was
answered by a servant girl with an uncommonly dirty face.
'Is Mrs Nickleby at home, girl?' demanded Ralph sharply.
'Her name ain't Nickleby,' said the girl, 'La Creevy, you
mean.'
Mr Nickleby looked very indignant at the handmaid on being thus
corrected, and demanded with much asperity what she meant; which
she was about to state, when a female voice proceeding from a
perpendicular staircase at the end of the passage, inquired who was
wanted.
'Mrs Nickleby,' said Ralph.
'It's the second floor, Hannah,' said the same voice; 'what a
stupid thing you are! Is the second floor at home?'
'Somebody went out just now, but I think it was the attic which
had been a cleaning of himself,' replied the girl.
'You had better see,' said the invisible female. 'Show the
gentleman where the bell is, and tell him he mustn't knock double
knocks for the second floor; I can't allow a knock except when the
bell's broke, and then it must be two single ones.'
'Here,' said Ralph, walking in without more parley, 'I beg your
pardon; is that Mrs La what's-her-name?'
'Creevy—La Creevy,' replied the voice, as a yellow headdress
bobbed over the banisters.
'I'll speak to you a moment, ma'am, with your leave,' said
Ralph.
The voice replied that the gentleman was to walk up; but he had
walked up before it spoke, and stepping into the first floor, was
received by the wearer of the yellow head-dress, who had a gown to
correspond, and was of much the same colour herself. Miss La Creevy
was a mincing young lady of fifty, and Miss La Creevy's apartment
was the gilt frame downstairs on a larger scale and something
dirtier.
'Hem!' said Miss La Creevy, coughing delicately behind her black
silk mitten. 'A miniature, I presume. A very strongly-marked
countenance for the purpose, sir. Have you ever sat before?'
'You mistake my purpose, I see, ma'am,' replied Mr Nickleby, in
his usual blunt fashion. 'I have no money to throw away on
miniatures, ma'am, and nobody to give one to (thank God) if I had.
Seeing you on the stairs, I wanted to ask a question of you, about
some lodgers here.'
Miss La Creevy coughed once more—this cough was to conceal her
disappointment—and said, 'Oh, indeed!'
'I infer from what you said to your servant, that the floor
above belongs to you, ma'am,' said Mr Nickleby.
Yes it did, Miss La Creevy replied. The upper part of the house
belonged to her, and as she had no necessity for the second-floor
rooms just then, she was in the habit of letting them.
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