So he hasn’t received a kopeck. Now he’s sorry, but it’s too late ...

SASHA: Mama, that’s not true.

BABAKINA [heatedly]: Shurochka, how is it not true? Everyone knows it. If he didn’t have that in mind, why would he marry a Jew? Aren’t there enough Russians? He made a mistake, my love, he made a mistake ... [Animatedly] Lord, and she’s getting it from him now! What a farce. He comes home from somewhere and rushes in to her: ‘Your father and mother tricked me! Get out of my house!’ But where is she to go? Her father and mother won’t take her in; she could become a servant, but she’s not trained to work ... He goes at her and he goes at her until the Count stands up for her. If it weren’t for the Count, he’d have sent her to her grave long ago ...

AVDOTYA NAZAROVNA: He used to lock her in the cellar and tell her, ‘Just eat up that garlic, you so-and-so’ ... She’d eat and eat until it was coming out of her ears.

[Laughter.]

SASHA: Papa, these are lies!

LEBEDEV: So what! Let them have their fill of gossip ... Gavrila!

[GAVRILA bringshim vodka and water.]

ZINAIDA SAVISHNA : That’s why he was ruined, poor man. His affairs collapsed, my love ... If Borkin hadn’t been looking after the estate, he and the Jewess wouldn’t have had anything to eat. [Sighing] And how we have suffered because of him, my love! ... Such suffering as only God can see! Would you believe it, dear, he’s owed us nine thousand for three years!

BABAKINA [with horror]: Nine thousand! ...

ZINAIDA SAVISHNA: Yes ... my dear Pashenka made the arrangements for lending him that. He doesn’t distinguish between people you can lend to and those to whom you can’t. I’m not talking about the capital — who cares — but if he could only pay the interest on time! ...

SASHA [heatedly]: We’ve talked about this a thousand times!

ZINAIDA SAVISHNA: What’s it to do with you? Why are you standing up for him?

SASHA [getting up]: But what drives you to say all this about a man who has done you no harm? Well, what has he done to you?

THIRD GUEST: Aleksandra Pavlovna, allow me to say two words. I have a respect for Nikolay Alekseyevich and always counted that an honour, but, speaking entre nous,4he seems to me an adventurer.

SASHA: And I congratulate you for thinking that.

THIRD GUEST: In proof I will adduce the following fact which was communicated to me by his aide, his so to speak cicerone, Borkin. Two years ago, at the time of the cattle epidemic, he bought some cattle, insured them ...

ZINAIDA SAVISHNA: Yes, yes, yes! I remember the case. I was told about it too.

THIRD GUEST: Insured them, note, then infected them with the disease and collected the money.

SASHA: Oh, this is all nonsense. No one bought and infected cattle. Borkin himself concocted a plan like that and boasted about it everywhere. When Ivanov learnt about it, Borkin was asking his forgiveness for two weeks afterwards. Ivanov is only guilty of having a weak character and lacking the guts to kick that Borkin out of his house, and guilty of having too much trust in people! Everything he had has been pilfered and stolen; anyone who wanted to has made money from his generous ventures.

LEBEDEV: Temper! That will do.

SASHA: Why do they all talk nonsense? Oh, this is all so boring, boring! Ivanov, Ivanov, Ivanov — and there are no other subjects of conversation. [Goes to the door and comes back.] I am astonished! [To the young men] I am absolutely astonished at your patience, gentlemen! Are you really not bored sitting like that? The air has set thick from boredom. Say something, amuse the young ladies. If you have no other subjects of conversation but Ivanov, then laugh, drink, dance or something ...

LEBEDEV [laughing] : Give it to them, really give it to them!

SASHA: Listen, do me this favour! If you don’t want to dance, laugh or sing, if all that bores you, then I ask you, I beg you for just once in your lives, just for fun, to astonish us or make us laugh, summon up your energy and all together think up something witty or brilliant, say something which even if it’s rude or vulgar, at least is funny and fresh. Or all of you together do something small, something we might hardly notice, but which has some tiny resemblance to a serious exploit, so that the young ladies for once in their lives, looking at you, might say ‘Ah!’ Listen, you want to please, don’t you, but why don’t you try to please? Oh gentlemen! All of you are hopeless, hopeless, hopeless! Looking at you, flies would die and lamps begin to smoke. Hopeless, hopeless! ... I’ve told you a thousand times and will always tell you that you are all hopeless, hopeless! ...

IV

[The same, IVANOV and SHABELSKY.]

SHABELSKY [entering with Ivanov by the right-hand door] : Who is making a speech here? Is it you, Shurochka? [Laughs loudly and shakes her hand.] Happy birthday, my angel, God grant you to die a little later and no reincarnation ...

ZINAIDA SAVISHNA [joyously]: Nikolay Alekseyevich, Count! ...

LEBEDEV: Well, well! Who do I see ... Count! [Goes to meet them.]

SHABELSKY [seeing Zinaida Savishna and Babakina, stretches out his arms towards them]: Two moneybags on one sofa! ...