I’ll leave at once. I’m worried: are you all right? Why haven’t you come for so long?

IVANOV : As it is, my wife has already been deeply hurt, she’s almost dying, and you come here. Shura, Shura, this is thoughtless and inhuman!

SASHA: What was I to do? You haven’t been to see us for two weeks, you haven’t answered my letters. I’m worn out, I thought you must be suffering here unbearably, that you were ill, that you were dead. I haven’t had a single night’s calm sleep. I’ll go away now ... At least tell me if you are well.

IVANOV : No, I’ve worn myself out, people never stop plaguing me ... I simply don’t have the strength. And you’re still here! What unhealthy and abnormal behaviour! Shura, I’m so much to blame, so much to blame ...

SASHA: How you love saying fearsome and pathetic things! So you’re to blame? Are you? To blame? Well, tell me then, for what?

IVANOV : I don’t know, I don’t know ...

SASHA: That’s not an answer. Every sinner must know his sin. Have you been forging banknotes or something?

IVANOV : That’s not funny!

SASHA: Are you to blame for having stopped loving your wife? Perhaps, but a man is not master of his feelings, you didn’t want to stop loving her. Are you to blame that she saw me declare my love to you? No, you didn’t want her to see that ...

IVANOV [interrupting]: And so on, and so on ... Fell in love, fell out of love, not master of his feelings - these are all commonplaces, hackneyed phrases, and they don’t help ...

SASHA: It’s exhausting talking to you. [Looks at a picture.] How well that dog is drawn. Is it from life?

IVANOV:Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is commonplace and trite: he lost heart, and he lost his way. She came along, strong and brave in spirit, and gave him a helping hand. That’s all very well and plausible in novels, but in life ...

SASHA: In life it’s the same.

IVANOV : I see you have a fine understanding of life! My whining inspires a holy awe in you, you imagine you’ve discovered a second Hamlet in me, but in my view my psychopathic character, with all its baggage, can only serve as a good object for ridicule, and nothing more! You should howl with laughter at my affectations till you drop, but instead you sound the alarm! You want to save me, to perform a heroic feat! I feel so bitter today towards myself! I feel that my tension today will be ended by something ... Either I’ll break something, or ...

SASHA: Now that’s exactly what you need. Break something, smash it or shout. You’re angry with me, I was stupid in deciding to come here. So lose your temper, shout at me, stamp your feet. Why not? Start getting angry ...

 

[A pause.]

 

Why not?

IVANOV : You are being funny.

SASHA: Excellent. I think we’re smiling. Please be so kind as to smile once more!

IVANOV [laughing]: I’ve noticed something: when you start to rescue me and teach me common sense, then your expression becomes very, very naive and the pupils of your eyes become wide as if you were looking at a comet. Wait, your shoulder’s covered in dust. [Brushes the dust from her shoulder.] A naive man is a fool. But you women are clever enough to be naive so that it comes out in you as engaging and healthy and warm, and not so silly as it might seem. Only why do you all behave like this? While a man is healthy and strong and in good spirits, you pay him no attention, but as soon as he rolls down the slippery slope and starts complaining about his woes, you hang on his neck. Is it really worse to be the wife of a strong and courageous man than to be the nurse of some snivelling failure?

SASHA: Yes, it’s worse!

IVANOV : Why? [Laughs.] Darwin knew nothing about this, otherwise he’d have told you off! You’re spoiling the human race.