You dared to laugh!

THE MAN. Yes; but when the sergeant ran up as white as a sheet, and told us theyd sent us the wrong ammunition, and that we couldnt fire a round for the next ten minutes, we laughed at the other side of our mouths. I never felt so sick in my life; though Ive been in one or two very tight places. And I hadnt even a revolver cartridge: only chocolate. We’d no bayonets: nothing. Of course, they just cut us to bits. And there was Don Quixote flourishing like a drum major, thinking he’d done the cleverest thing ever known, whereas he ought to be courtmartialled for it. Of all the fools ever let loose on a field of battle, that man must be the very maddest. He and his regiment simply committed suicide; only the pistol missed fire: thats all.

RAINA [deeply wounded, but steadfastly loyal to her ideals] Indeed! Would you know him again if you saw him ?

THE MAN. Shall I ever forget him!

She again goes to the chest of drawers. He watches her with a vague hope that she may have something more for him to eat. She takes the portrait from its stand and brings it to him.

RAINA. That is a photograph of the gentleman – the patriot and hero – to whom I am betrothed.

THE MAN [recognizing it with a shock] I’m really very sorry. [Looking at her] Was it fair to lead me on ? [He looks at the portrait again] Yes: thats Don Quixote: not a doubt of it. [He stifles a laugh.]

RAINA [quickly] Why do you laugh ?

THE MAN [apologetic, but still greatly tickled] I didnt laugh, I assure you. At least I didnt mean to. But when I think of him charging the windmills and imagining he was doing the finest thing – [He chokes with suppressed laughter].

RAINA [sternly] Give me back the portrait, sir.

THE MAN [with sincere remorse] Of course. Certainly. I’m really very sorry. [He hands her the picture. She deliberately kisses it and looks him straight in the face before returning to the chest of drawers to replace it. He follows her, apologizing]. Perhaps I’m quite wrong, you know: no doubt I am. Most likely he had got wind of the cartridge business somehow, and knew it was a safe job.

RAINA. That is to say, he was a pretender and a coward! You did not dare say that before.

THE MAN [with a comic gesture of despair] It’s no use, dear lady: I cant make you see it from the professional point of view. [As he turns away to get back to the ottoman, a couple of distant shots threaten renewed trouble].

RAINA [sternly, as she sees him listening to the shots] So much the better for you!

THE MAN [turning] How ?

RAINA. You are my enemy; and you are at my mercy. What would I do if I were a professional soldier ?

THE MAN. Ah, true, dear young lady: youre always right. I know how good youve been to me: to my last hour I shall remember those three chocolate creams.