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Trouble, is to any Spirit furnish’d with Gratitude and just Principles: This Gentleman had freely and voluntarily deliver’d me from Misery, from Poverty, and Rags; he had made me what I was, and put me into a Way to be even more than I ever was, namely, to live happy and pleas’d, and on his Bounty I depended: What could I say to this Gentleman when he press’d me to yield to him, and argued the Lawfullness of it? But of that in its Place.

I press’d him again to stay that Night, and told him it was the first compleatly happy Night that I had ever had in the House in my Life, and I should be very sorry to have it be without his Company, who was the Cause and Foundation of it all; that we would be innocently merry, but that it could never be without him; and, in short, I courted him so, that he said, he cou’d not deny me, but he wou’d take his Horse, and go to London, do the Business he had to do, which, it seems, was to pay a Foreign Bill42 that was due that Night, and wou’d else be protested; and that he wou’d come back in three Hours at farthest, and Sup with me, but bade me get nothing there, for since I was resolv’d to be merry, which was what he desir’d above all things, he wou’d send me something from London, and we will make it a Wedding Supper, my Dear, says he, and with that Word, took me in his Arms; and kiss’d me so vehemently, that I made no question but he intended to do every thing else that Amy had talk’d of.

I started a little at the Word Wedding: What do ye mean? to call it by such a Name, says I; adding, We will have a Supper, but t’other is impossible, as well on your side as mine; he laugh’d, Well, says he, you shall call it what you will, but it may be the same thing, for I shall satisfie you, it is not so impossible as you make it.

I don’t understand you, said I, have not I a Husband, and you a Wife?

Well, well, says he, we will talk of that after Supper; so he rose up, gave me another Kiss, and took his Horse for London.

This kind of Discourse had fir’d my Blood, I confess, and I knew not what to think of it; it was plain now that he intended to lye with me, but how he would reconcile it to a legal thing, like a Marriage, that I cou’d not imagine: We had both of us us’d Amy with so much Intimacy, and trusted her with every thing, having such unexampled Instances of her Fidelity, that he made no Scruple to kiss me, and say all these things to me before her, nor had he car’d one Farthing if I would have let him Lay with me, to have had Amy there too all Night. When he was gone, Well, Amy, says I, what will all this come to now? I am all in a Sweat at him: Come to, Madam, says Amy, I see what it will come to, I must put you to-Bed to-Night together: Why you wou’d not be so impudent, you Jade you, says I, wou’d you? Yes, I wou’d, says she, with all my Heart, and think you both as honest as ever you were in your Lives.

What ails the Slut to talk so? said I, Honest! how can it be honest? Why, I’ll tell you, Madam, says Amy, I sounded43 it as soon as I heard him speak, and it is very true too; he calls you Widow, and such, indeed, you are; for as my Master has left you so many Years, he is dead to be sure; at least, he is dead to you; he is no Husband, you are, and ought to be free to marry who you will; and his Wife being gone from him, and refuses to lye with him, then he is a single Man again, as much as ever; and tho’ you cannot bring the Laws of the Land to join you together, yet one refusing to do the Office of a Wife, and the other of a Husband, you may certainly take one another fairly.44

Nay, Amy, says I, if I cou’d take him fairly, you may be sure I’d take him above all the Men in the World; it turn’d the very Heart within me, when I heard him say he lov’d me; how cou’d it do otherwise? when you know what a Condition I was in before; despis’d, and trampled on by all the World; I cou’d have took him in my Arms, and kiss’d him as freely as he did me, if it had not been for Shame.

Ay, and all the rest too, says Amy, at the first Word; I don’t see how you can think of denying him any thing; has he not brought you out of the Devil’s Clutches; brought you out of the blackest Misery that ever poor Lady was reduc’d to? Can a Woman deny such a Man any thing?

Nay, I don’t know what to do, Amy, says I; I hope he won’t desire any thing of that Kind of me, I hope he won’t attempt it; if he does, I know not what to say to him.

Not ask you, says Amy, depend upon it, he will ask you, and you will grant it too; I’m sure my Mistress is no Fool; come, pray Madam, let me go air you a clean Shift; don’t let him find you in foul Linnen the Wedding-Night.

But that I know you to be a very honest Girl, Amy, says I, you wou’d make me abhor you; why, you argue for the Devil, as if you were one of his Privy-Counsellors.

It’s no matter for that, Madam, I say nothing but what I think; you own you love this Gentleman, and he has given you sufficient Testimony of his Affection to you; your Conditions are alike unhappy, and he is of Opinion that he may take another Woman, his first Wife having broke her Honour, and living from him, and that, tho’ the Laws of the Land will not allow him to marry formally, yet, that he may take another Woman into his Arms, provided he keeps true to the other Woman as a Wife; nay he says it is usual to do so, and allow’d by the Custom of the Place, in several Countries abroad;45 and, I must own, I’m of the same Mind, else ’tis in the Power of a Whore, after she has jilted and abandon’d her Husband, to confine him from the Pleasure as well as Convenience of a Woman all Days of his Life, which wou’d be very unreasonable; and as times go, not tollerable to all People; and the like on your side, Madam.

Had I now had my Sences about me, and had my Reason not been overcome by the powerful Attraction of so kind, so beneficent a Friend; had I consulted Conscience and Virtue, I shou’d have repell’d this Amy, however faithful and honest to me in other things, as a Viper, and Engine46 of the Devil; I ought to have remembred that neither he or I, either by the Laws of God or Man, cou’d come together, upon any other Terms than that of notorious Adultery: The ignorant Jade’s Argument, That he had brought me out of the Hands of the Devil, by which she meant the Devil of Poverty and Distress, shou’d have been a powerful Motive to me, not to plunge myself into the Jaws of Hell, and into the Power of the real Devil, in Recompence for that Deliverance; I shou’d have look’d upon all the Good this Man had done for me, to have been the particular Work of the Goodness of Heaven; and that Goodness shou’d have mov’d me to a Return of Duty and humble Obedience; I shou’d have receiv’d the Mercy thankfully, and apply’d it soberly, to the Praise and Honour of my Maker; whereas by this wicked Course, all the Bounty and Kindness of this Gentleman, became a Snare to me, was a meer Bait to the Devil’s Hook; I receiv’d his Kindness at the dear Expence of Body and Soul, mortgaging Faith, Religion, Conscience, and Modesty, for (as I may call it) a Morsel of Bread; or, if you will, ruin’d my Soul from a Principle of Gratitude, and gave myself up to the Devil, to shew myself grateful to my Benefactor: I must do the Gentleman that Justice, as to say, I verily believe that he did nothing but what he thought was Lawful; and I must do that Justice upon myself, as to say, I did what my own Conscience convinc’d me at the very Time I did it, was horribly unlawful, scandalous, and abominable.

But Poverty was my Snare; dreadful Poverty! the Misery I had been in, was great, such as wou’d make the Heart tremble at the Apprehensions of its Return; and I might appeal to any that has had any Experience of the World, whether one so entirely destitute as I was, of all manner of all Helps, or Friends, either to support me, or to assist me to support myself, could withstand the Proposal; not that I plead this as a Justification of my Conduct, but that it may move the Pity, even of those that abhor the Crime.

Besides this, I was young, handsome, and with all the Mortifications I had met with, was vain, and that not a little; and as it was a new thing, so it was a pleasant thing, to be courted, caress’d, embrac’d, and high Professions of Affection made to me by a Man so agreeable, and so able to do me good.

Add to this, that if I had ventur’d to disoblige this Gentleman, I had no Friend in the World to have Recourse to; I had no Prospect, no, not of a Bit of Bread; I had nothing before me, but to fall back into the same Misery that I had been in before.

Amy had but too much Rhetorick in this Cause; she represented all those Things in their proper Colours; she argued them all with her utmost Skill, and at last, the Merry Jade, when she came to Dress me, Look ye, Madam, said she, if you won’t consent, tell him you’ll do as Rachael did to Jacob 47 when she could have no Children, put her Maid to Bed to him; tell him you cannot comply with him, but there’s Amy, he may ask her the Question, she has promis’d me she won’t deny you.

And wou’d you have me say so, Amy? said I.

No, Madam, but I wou’d really have you do so, besides you are undone if you do not; and if my doing it wou’d save you from being undone, as I said before, he shall if he will; if he asks me, I won’t deny him, not I; Hang me if I do, says Amy.

Well, I know not what to do, says I, to Amy.

Do! says Amy, Your Choice is fair and plain; here you may have a handsome, charming Gentleman, be rich, live pleasantly, and in Plenty; or refuse him, and want a Dinner, go in Rags, live in Tears; in short, beg and starve; you know this is the Case, Madam, says Amy, I wonder how you can say you know not what to do.

Well, Amy, says I, the Case is as you say, and I think verily I must yield to him; but then, said I, mov’d by Conscience, don’t talk any more of your Cant, of its being Lawful that I ought to Marry again, and that he ought to Marry again, and such Stuff as that; ’tis all Nonsence, says I, Amy, there’s nothing in it, let me hear no more of that; for if I yield, ’tis in vain to mince the Matter, I am a Whore, Amy, neither better nor worse, I assure you.

I don’t think so, Madam, by no means, says Amy, I wonder how you can talk so; and then she run on with her Argument of the Unreasonableness that a Woman should be oblig’d to live single, or a Man to live single in such Cases, as before: Well, Amy, said I, come let us dispute no more, for the longer I enter into that Part, the greater my Scruples will be; but if I let it alone, the Necessity of my present Circumstances is such, that I believe I shall yield to him, if he should importune me much about it, but I should be glad he would not do it at all, but leave me as I am.

As to that, Madam, you may depend, says Amy, he expects to have you for his Bedfellow to Night; I saw it plainly in his Management all Day, and at last he told you so too, as plain, I think, as he cou’d: Well, well, Amy, said I, I don’t know what to say, if he will, he must, I think, I don’t know how to resist such a Man, that has done so much for me: I don’t know how you shou’d, says Amy.

Thus Amy and I canvass’d the Business between us; the Jade prompted the Crime, which I had but too much Inclination to commit; that is to say, not as a Crime, for I had nothing of the Vice in my Constitution; my Spirits were far from being high; my Blood had no Fire in it, to kindle the Flame of Desire; but the Kindness and good Humour of the Man, and the Dread of my own Circumstances concurr’d to bring me to the Point, and I even resolv’d, before he ask’d, to give up my Virtue to him, whenever he should put it to the Question.

In this I was a double Offender, whatever he was; for I was resolv’d to commit the Crime, knowing and owning it to be a Crime; he, if it was true as he said, was fully perswaded it was Lawful, and in that Perswasion he took the Measures, and us’d all the Circumlocutions which I am going to speak of.

ABOUT two Hours after he was gone, came a Leaden-Hall 48 Basket-Woman, with a whole Load of good Things for the Mouth; the Particulars are not to the Purpose, and brought Orders to get Supper by Eight a-Clock; however I did not intend to begin to dress any thing, till I saw him; and he gave me time enough, for he came before Seven; so that Amy, who had gotten one to help her, got every thing ready in Time.

We sat down to Supper about Eight, and were indeed, very merry; Amy made us some Sport, for she was a Girl of Spirit and Wit; and with her Talk she made us laugh very often, and yet the Jade manag’d her Wit with all the good Manners imaginable.

But to shorten the Story; after Supper, he took me up into his Chamber, where Amy had made a good Fire, and there he pull’d out a great many Papers, and spread them upon a little Table, and then took me by the Hand, and after kissing me very much, he enter’d into a Discourse of his Circumstances, and of mine, how they agreed in several things exactly; for Example, That I was abandon’d of a Husband in the Prime of my Youth and Vigour, and he of a Wife in his Middle-Age; how the End of Marriage was destroy’d by the Treatment we had either of us receiv’d; and it wou’d be very hard that we should be ty’d by the Formality of the Contract, where the Essence of it was destroy’d: I interrupted him, and told him, There was a vast Difference between our Circumstances, and that in the most essential Part; namely, That he was Rich, and I was Poor; that he was above the World, and I infinitely below it; that his Circumstances were very easie, mine miserable, and this was an Inequality the most essential that cou’d be imagin’d: As to that, my Dear, says he, I have taken such Measures as shall make an Equality still; and with that, he shew’d me a Contract in Writing, wherein he engag’d himself to me; to cohabit constantly with me; to provide for me in all Respects as a Wife; and repeating in the Preamble, a long Account of the Nature and Reason of our living together, and an Obligation in the Penalty of 7000 l. never to abandon me; and at last, shew’d me a Bond for 500 l. to be paid to me, or to my Assigns,49 within three Months after his Death.

He read over all these things to me, and then in a most moving, affectionate Manner, and in Words not to be answer’d, he said, Now, my Dear, is this not sufficient? Can you object any thing against it? If not, as I believe you will not, then let us debate this Matter no longer; with that, he pull’d out a silk Purse, which had threescore Guineas in it, and threw them into my Lap, and concluded all the rest of his Discourse with Kisses, and Protestations of his Love; of which indeed, I had abundant Proof.

Pity humane Frailty, you that read of a Woman reduc’d in her Youth, and Prime, to the utmost Misery and Distress; and rais’d again, as above, by the unexpected and surprizing Bounty of a Stranger; I say pity her if she was not able, after all these things, to make any more Resistance.

However, I stood out a little longer still, I ask’d him, how he cou’d expect that I cou’d come into a Proposal of such Consequence, the very first Time it was mov’d to me? and that I ought (if I consented to it) to capitulate with him, that he should never upbraid me with Easiness, and consenting too soon: He said, No; but on the contrary, he would take it as a Mark of the greatest Kindness I could show him; then he went on to give Reasons why there was no Occasion to use the ordinary Ceremony of Delay; or to wait a reasonable Time of Courtship, which was only to avoid Scandal; but, as this was private, it had nothing of that Nature in it; that he had been courting me some time, by the best of Courtship, viz. doing Acts of Kindness to me; and that he had given Testimonies of his sincere Affection to me, by Deeds, not by flattering Trifles, and the usual Courtship of Words, which were often found to have very little Meaning; that he took me not as a Mistress, but as his Wife; and protested, it was clear to him he might lawfully do it, and that I was perfectly at Liberty; and assur’d me by all that it was possible for an Honest Man to say, that he would treat me as his Wife, as long as he liv’d; in a Word, he conquer’d all the little Resistance I intended to make; he protested he lov’d me above all the World, and begg’d I would for once believe him; that he had never deceiv’d me, and never would, but would make it his Study to make my Life comfortable and happy, and to make me forget the Misery I had gone through: I stood still a-while, and said nothing, but seeing him eager for my Answer, I smil’d, and looking up at him; and must I then, says I, say Yes, at first asking? Must I depend upon your Promise? Why then, said I, upon the Faith of that Promise, and in the Sence of that inexpressible Kindness you have shown me, you shall be oblig’d, and I will be wholly yours to the End of my Life; and with that, I took his Hand which held me by the Hand, and gave it a Kiss.

And thus in Gratitude for the Favours I receiv’d from a Man, was all Sence of Religion, and Duty to God, all Regard to Virtue and Honour, given up at once, and we were to call one another Man and Wife, who, in the Sence of the Laws, both of God and our Country, were no more than two Adulterers, in short, a Whore and a Rogue; nor, as I have said above, was my Conscience silent in it, tho’, it seems, his was; for I sinn’d with open Eyes, and thereby had a double Guilt upon me; as I always said his Notions were of another Kind, and he either was before of the Opinion, or argued himself into it now, that we were both Free, and might lawfully Marry.

But I was quite of another Side, nay, and my Judgment was right, but my Circumstances were my Temptation; the Terrors behind me look’d blacker than the Terrors before me; and the dreadful Argument of wanting Bread, and being run into the horrible Distresses I was in before, master’d all my Resolution, and I gave myself up, as above.

The rest of the Evening we spent very agreeably to me; he was perfectly good-humour’d, and was at that time very merry; then he made Amy dance with him, and I told him, I wou’d put Amy to Bed to him; Amy said, with all her Heart, she never had been a Bride in her Life; in short, he made the Girl so merry, that had he not been to lye with me the same Night, I believe he wou’d have play’d the Fool with Amy for half an Hour, and the Girl wou’d no more have refus’d him, than I intended to do; yet before, I had always found her a very modest Wench, as any I ever saw in all my Life; but, in short, the Mirth of that Night, and a few more such afterwards, ruin’d the Girl’s Modesty for ever, as shall appear by and by, in its Place.

So far does fooling and toying sometimes go, that I know nothing a young Woman has to be more cautious of; so far had this innocent Girl gone in jesting between her and I, and in talking that she would let him lye with her, if he would but be kinder to me, that at last she let him lye with her in earnest; and so empty was I now of all Principle, that I encourag’d the doing it almost before my Face.

I say but too justly, that I was empty of Principle, because, as above, I had yielded to him, not as deluded to believe it Lawful, but as overcome by his Kindness, and terrify’d at the Fear of my own Misery, if he should leave me; so with my Eyes open, and with my Conscience, as I may say, awake, I sinn’d, knowing it to be a Sin, but having no Power to resist; when this had thus made a Hole in my Heart,50 and I was come to such a height, as to transgress against the Light of my own Conscience, I was then fit for any Wickedness, and Conscience left off speaking, where it found it cou’d not be heard.

But to return to our Story; having consented, as above, to his Proposal, we had not much more to do; he gave me my Writings, and the Bond for my Maintenance during his Life, and for 500 1. after his Death; and so far was he from abating his Affection to me afterwards, that two Year after we were thus, as he call’d it, Marry’d, he made his Will, and gave me a Thousand Pound more, and all my Houshold-Stuff, Plate, &c. which was considerable too.

Amy put us to-Bed, and my new Friend, I cannot call him Husband, was so well pleas’d with Amy, for her Fidelity and Kindness to me, that he paid her all the Arrear of her Wages that I ow’d her, and gave her five Guineas over, and had it gone no farther, Amy had richly deserv’d what she had, for never was a Maid so true to a Mistress in such dreadful Circumstances as I was in; nor was what follow’d more her own Fault than mine, who led her almost into it at first, and quite into it at last; and this may be a farther Testimony what a hardness of Crime I was now arriv’d to, which was owing to the Conviction that was from the beginning, upon me, that I was a Whore, not a Wife; nor cou’d I ever frame my Mouth to call him Husband, or to say my Husband, when I was speaking of him.

We liv’d, surely, the most agreeable Life, the grand Exception only excepted, that ever Two liv’d together; he was the most obliging Gentlemanly Man, and the most tender of me, that ever Woman gave herself up to; nor was there ever the least Interruption to our mutual Kindness, no, not to the last Day of his Life: But I must bring Amy’s Disaster in at once, that I may have done with her.

Amy was dressing me one Morning, for now I had two Maids, and Amy was my Chamber-Maid; Dear Madam, says Amy, what, a’n’t you with-Child yet? No, Amy, says I, nor any Sign of it: Law, Madam, says Amy, what have you been doing? why you have been Marry’d a Year and a half, I warrant you, Master wou’d have got me with-Child twice in that time: It may be so, Amy, says I, let him try, can’t you: No, says Amy, you’ll forbid it now; before I told you he shou’d with all my Heart, but I won’t now, now he’s all your own: O, says I, Amy, I’ll freely give you my Consent, it will be nothing at-all to me; nay, I’ll put you to-Bed to him myself one Night or other, if you are willing: No, Madam, no, says Amy, not now he’s yours.

Why you Fool you, says I, don’t I tell you I’ll put you to Bed to him myself.

Nay, nay; says Amy if you put me to-Bed to him, that’s another Case; I believe I shall not rise again very soon.

I’ll venture that, Amy, says I.

After Supper, that Night, and before we were risen from Table, I said to him, Amy being by, Hark ye, Mr. —, Do you know that you are to lye with Amy to-Night? No, not I, says he; but turns to Amy, Is it so, Amy, says he? No, Sir, says she; Nay, don’t say no, you Fool; Did not I promise to put you to-Bed to him? But the Girl said No still, and it pass’d off.

At Night, when we came to go to-Bed, Amy came into the Chamber to undress me, and her Master slipt into Bed first; then I began, and told him all that Amy had said about my not being with-Child, and of her being with-Child twice in that time: Ay, Mrs. Amy, says he, I believe so too, Come hither, and we’ll try; but Amy did not go: Go, you Fool, says I, can’t you, I freely give you both Leave; but Amy wou’d not go: Nay, you Whore, says I, you said, if I wou’d put you to-Bed, you wou’d with all your Heart: and with that, I sat her down, pull’d off her Stockings and Shoes, and all her Cloaths, Piece by Piece, and led her to the Bed to him: Here, says I, try what you can do with your Maid Amy: She pull’d back a little, would not let me pull off her Cloaths at first, but it was hot Weather, and she had not many Cloaths on, and particularly, no Stays on; and at last, when she see I was in earnest, she let me do what I wou’d; so I fairly stript her, and then I threw open the Bed, and thrust her in.

I need say no more; this is enough to convince anybody that I did not think him my Husband, and that I had cast off all Principle, and all Modesty, and had effectually stifled Conscience.

Amy, I dare say, began now to repent, and wou’d fain have got out of Bed again; but he said to her, Nay, Amy, you see your Mistress has put you to-Bed, ’tis all her doing, you must blame her; so he held her fast, and the Wench being naked in the Bed with him, ’twas too late to look back, so she lay still, and let him do what he wou’d with her.

Had I look’d upon myself as a Wife, you cannot suppose I would have been willing to have let my Husband lye with my Maid, much less, before my Face, for I stood-by all the while; but as I thought myself a Whore, I cannot say but that it was something design’d in my Thoughts, that my Maid should be a Whore too, and should not reproach me with it.

Amy, however, less vicious than I, was grievously out of Sorts the next Morning, and cry’d, and took-on most vehemently; that she was ruin’d and undone, and there was no pacifying her; she was a Whore, a Slut, and she was undone! undone! and cry’d almost all Day; I did all I could to pacify her: A Whore! says I, well, and am not I a Whore as well as you? No, no, says Amy, no, you are not, for you are Marry’d; not I, Amy, says I, I do not pretend to it; he may Marry you to-Morrow if he will, for any thing I cou’d do to hinder it, I am not Marry’d, I do not look upon it as any thing: Well, all did not pacify Amy, but she cry’d two or three Days about it; but it wore off by Degrees.

But the Case differ’d between Amy and her Master, exceedingly; for Amy retain’d the same kind Temper she always had; but on the contrary, he was quite alter’d, for he hated her heartily, and could, I believe, have kill’d her after it, and he told me so, for he thought this a vile Action; whereas what he and I had done, he was perfectly easie in, thought it just, and esteem’d me as much his Wife as if we had been Marry’d from our Youth, and had neither of us known any other; nay, he lov’d me, I believe, as entirely, as if I had been the Wife of his Youth; nay, he told me, it was true, in one Sence, that he had two Wives, but that I was the Wife of his Affection, the other, the Wife of his Aversion.

I was extremely concern’d at the Aversion he had taken to my Maid Amy, and us’d my utmost Skill to get it alter’d; for tho’ he had, indeed, debauch’d the Wench, I knew that I was the principal Occasion of it; and as he was the best humour’d Man in the World, I never gave him over till I prevail’d with him to be easie with her, and as I was now become the Devil’s Agent, to make others as wicked as myself, I brought him to lye with her again several times after that, till at last, as the poor Girl said, so it happen’d, and she was really with-Child.

She was terribly concern’d at it, and so was he too: Come, my Dear, says I, when Rachael put her Handmaid to-Bed to Jacob, she took the Children as her own; don’t be uneasie, I’ll take the Child as my own; had not I a hand in the Frolick of putting her to-Bed to you? It was my Fault as much as yours; so I call’d Amy, and en courag’d her too, and told her, that I wou’d take Care of the Child and her too, and added the same Argument to her; for, says I, Amy, it was all my Fault; did not I drag your Cloaths off of your Back, and put you to-Bed to him: Thus I that had, indeed, been the Cause of all the Wickedness between them, encourag’d them both, when they had any Remorse about it, and rather prompted them to go on with it, than to repent of it.

When Amy grew Big, she went to a Place I had provided for her, and the Neighbours knew nothing but that Amy and I was parted; she had a fine Child indeed, a Daughter, and we had it nurs’d, and Amy came again in about half a Year, to live with her old Mistress; but neither my Gentleman, or Amy either, car’d for playing that Game over again; for as he said, the Jade might bring him a House-full of Children to keep.

We liv’d as merrily, and as happily, after this, as cou’d be expected, considering our Circumstances; I mean as to the pretended Marriage, &.c. and as to that, my Gentleman had not the least Concern about him for it; but as much as I was harden’d, and that was as much, as I believe, ever any wicked Creature was, yet I could not help it; there was, and would be, Hours of Intervals, and of dark Reflections which came involuntarily in, and thrust in Sighs into the middle of all my Songs; and there would be, sometimes, a heaviness of Heart, which intermingl’d itself with all my Joy, and which would often fetch a Tear from my Eye; and let others pretend what they will, I believe it impossible to be otherwise with any-body; there can be no substantial Satisfaction in a Life of known Wickedness; Conscience will, and does, often break in upon them at particular times, let them do what they can to prevent it.

But I am not to preach, but to relate, and whatever loose Reflections were, and how often soever those dark Intervals came on, I did my utmost to conceal them from him; ay, and to suppress and smother them too in myself, and to outward Appearance we liv’d as chearfully, and as agreeably, as it was possible for any Couple in the World to live.

After I had thus liv’d with him something above two Year, truly, I found my-self with-Child too; my Gentleman was mightily pleas’d at it, and nothing could be kinder than he was in the Preparations he made for me, and for my Lying-in, which was, however, very private, because I car’d for as little Company as possible; nor had I kept up my neighbourly Acquaintance; so that I had nobody to invite upon such an Occasion.

I was brought to-Bed very well, (of a Daughter too, as well as Amy) but the Child died at about six Weeks old, so all that Work was to do over again, that is to say, the Charge, the Expence, the Travel51, &c.

The next Year I made him amends, and brought him a Son, to his great Satisfaction; it was a charming Child, and did very well: After this, my Husband, as he call’d himself, came to me one Evening, and told me, he had a very difficult Thing happen’d to him, which he knew not what to do in, or how to resolve about, unless I would make him easie; this was, that his Occasions requir’d him to go over to France for about two Months.

Well, my Dear, says I, and how shall I make you easie?

Why, by consenting to let me go, says he, upon which Condition, I’ll tell you the Occasion of my going, that you may judge of the Necessity there is for it on my Side; then to make me easie in his going, he told me, he would make his Will before he went, which should be to my full Satisfaction.

I told him, the last Part was so kind, that I could not decline the first Part, unless he would give me Leave to add, that if it was not for putting him to an extraordinary Expence, I would go over along with him.

He was so pleas’d with this Offer, that he told me, he would give me full Satisfaction for it, and accept of it too; so he took me to London with him the next Day, and there he made his WILL, and shew’d it to me, and seal’d it before proper Witnesses, and then gave it to me to keep: In this WILL he gave a thousand Pounds to a Person that we both knew very well, in Trust, to pay it, with the Interest from the Time of his Decease, to me, or my Assigns; then he Will’d the Payment of my Jointure;52 as he call’d it, viz. his Bond of a Hundred Pounds, after his Death; also he gave me all my Houshold-Stuff, Plate, &c.

This was a most engaging thing for a Man to do to one under my Circumstances; and it would have been hard, as I told him, to deny him any thing, or to refuse to go with him any where; so we settled every thing as well as we cou’d; left Amy in Charge with the House; and for his other Business, which was in Jewels, he had two Men he entrusted, who he had good Security for, and who manag’d for him, and corresponded with him.

Things being thus concerted, we went away to France, arriv’d safe at Calais, and by easie Journeys, came in eight Days more to Paris, where we lodg’d in the House of an English Merchant of his Acquaintance, and was very courteously entertain’d.

My Gentleman’s Business was with some Persons of the First Rank, and to whom he had sold some Jewels of very good Value, and receiv’d a great Sum of Money in Specie, and, as he told me privately, he gain’d 3000 Pistoles53 by his Bargain, but would not suffer the most intimate Friend he had there, to know what he had receiv’d; for it is not so safe a thing in Paris, to have a great Sum of Money in keeping, as it might be in London.

We made this Journey much longer than we intended; and my Gentleman sent for one of his Managers in London, to come over to us to Paris with some Diamonds, and sent him back to London again, to fetch more; then other Business fell into his Hands so unexpectedly, that I began to think we should take up our constant Residence there, which I was not very averse to it, being my Native Country, and I spoke the Language perfectly well; so we took a good House in Paris, and liv’d very well there; and I sent for Amy to come over to me, for I liv’d gallantly, and my Gentleman was, two or three times, going to keep me a Coach, but I declin’d it, especially at Paris; but as they have those Conveniences54 by the Day there, at a certain Rate, I had an Equipage provided for me whenever I pleas’d, and I liv’d here in a very good Figure,55 and might have liv’d higher if I pleas’d.

But in the middle of all this Felicity, a dreadful Disaster befel me, which entirely unhing’d all my Affairs, and threw me back into the same state of Life that I was in before; with this one happy Exception however, that whereas before I was Poor, even to Misery, now I was not only provided for, but very Rich.

My Gentleman had the Name in Paris, for a very rich Man, and indeed, he was so, tho’ not so immensely rich as People imagin’d; but that which was fatal to him, was, that he generally carried a shagreen56 Case in his Pocket, especially when he went to Court, or to the Houses of any of the Princes of the Blood, in which he had Jewels of very great Value.

It happened one Day, that being57 to go to Versailles, to wait upon the Prince of —, he came up into my Chamber in the Morning, and laid out58 his Jewel-Case, because he was not going to show any Jewels, but to get a Foreign Bill accepted, which he had receiv’d from Amsterdam;, so when he gave me the Case, he said, My Dear, I think I need not carry this with me, because, it may be, I may not come back till Night, and it is too much to venture; I return’d, then My Dear, you sha’n’t go; Why? says he; because as they are too much for you, so you are too much for me to venture; and you shall not go, unless you will promise me not to stay so as to come back in the Night.

I hope there’s no Danger, said he, seeing I have nothing about me of any Value; and therefore, lest I should, take that too, says he, and gives me his Gold Watch, and a rich Diamond, which he had in a Ring, and always wore on his Finger.

Well, but my Dear, says I, you make me more uneasie now, than before; for if you apprehend no Danger, why do use this Caution? and if you apprehend there is Danger, why do you go at all?

There is no Danger, says he, if I do not stay late, and I do not design to do so.

Well, but promise me then, that you won’t, says I, or else I cannot let you go.

I wont, indeed, my Dear, says he, unless I am oblig’d to it; I assure you I do not intend it; but if I shou’d, I am not worth robbing now; for I have nothing about me, but about six Pistoles in my little Purse, and that little Ring, showing me a small Diamond Ring, worth about ten or twelve Pistoles, which he put upon his Finger, in the room of the rich one he usually wore.

I still press’d him not to stay late, and he said he wou’d not; but if I am kept late, says he, beyond my Expectation, I’ll stay all Night, and come next Morning: This seem’d a very good Caution; but still my Mind was very uneasie about him, and I told him so, and entreated him not to go; I told him, I did not know what might be the reason, but that I had a strange Terror upon my Mind, about his going, and that, if he did go, I was perswaded some Harm wou’d attend him; he smil’d, and return’d, Well, my Dear, if it should be so, you are now richly provided for; all that I have here, I give to you; and with that, he takes up the Casket, or Case, Here, says he, hold your Hand, there is a good Estate for you, in this Case; if any thing happens to me, ’tis all your own; I give it you for yourself; and with that, he put the Casket, the fine Ring, and his Gold Watch, all into my Hands, and the Key of his Scrutore59 besides, adding, and in my Scrutore there is some Money, ’tis all your own.

I star’d at him, as if I was frighted, for I thought all his Face look’d like a Death’s-Head; and then, immediately, I thought I perceiv’d his Head all Bloody; and then his Cloaths look’d Bloody too; and immediately it all went off, and he look’d as he really did; immediately I fell a-crying, and hung about him, My Dear said I, I am frighted to Death; you shall not go, depend upon it, some Mischief will befal you; I did not tell him how my vapourish Fancy60 had represented him to me, that I thought was not proper; besides he wou’d only have laugh’d at me, and wou’d have gone away with a Jest about it: But I press’d him seriously not to go that Day, or if he did, to promise me to come Home to Paris again by Day-light: He look’d a little graver then, than he did before; told me, he was not apprehensive of the least Danger; but if there was, he wou’d either take Care to come in the Day, or, as he had said before, wou’d stay all Night.

But all these Promises came to nothing; for he was set upon in the open Day, and robb’d, by three Men on Horseback, mask’d, as he went; and one of them, who, it seems, rifled him, while the rest stood to stop the Coach, stabb’d him into the Body with a Sword, so that he died immediately: He had a Footman behind the Coach, who they knock’d down with the Stock, or But-end of a Carabine: They were suppos’d to kill him, because of the Disappointment they met with, in not getting his Case, or Casket of Diamonds, which they knew he carry’d about him; and this was suppos’d, because after they had kill’d him, they made the Coachman drive out of the Road, a long-Way over the Heath, till they came to a convenient Place, where they pull’d him out of the Coach, and search’d his Cloaths more narrowly, than they cou’d do while he was alive.

But they found nothing but his little Ring, six Pistoles, and the Value of about seven Livres in small Moneys.

This was a dreadful Blow to me; tho’ I cannot say I was so surpriz’d as I should otherwise have been; for all the while he was gone, my Mind was oppress’d with the Weight of my own Thoughts; and I was as sure that I should never see him any more, that I think nothing could be like it; the Impression was so strong, that, I think, nothing could make so deep a Wound, that was imaginary; and I was so dejected, and disconsolate, that when I receiv’d the News of his Disaster, there was no room for any extraordinary Alteration in me: I had cry’d all that Day, eat nothing, and only waited, as I might say, to receive the dismal News, which I had brought to me about Five a-Clock in the Afternoon.

I was in a strange Country; and tho’ I had a pretty many Acquaintances, had but very few Friends that I could consult on this Occasion; all possible Enquiry was made after the Rogues, that had been thus barbarous, but nothing could be heard of them; nor was it possible, that the Footman could make any Discovery of them, by his Description; for they knock’d him down immediately, so that he knew nothing of what was done afterwards; the Coachman was the only Man that cou’d say any thing, and all his Account amounted to no more than this, that one of them had Soldiers’ Cloaths, but he cou’d not remember the Particulars of his Mounting,61 so as to know what Regiment he belong’d to; and as to their Faces, that he could know nothing of, because they had all of them Masks on.

I had him Buried as decently as the Place would permit a Protestant Stranger to be Buried,62 and made some of the Scruples and Difficulties on that Account, easie, by the help of Money to a certain Person, who went impudently to the Curate63 of the Parish St. Sulpitius, 64 in Paris, and told him, that the Gentleman that was kill’d, was a Catholick; that the Thieves had taken from him a Cross of Gold, set with Diamonds, worth 6000 Livres; that his Widow was a Catholick, and had sent by him 60 Crowns to the Church of —, for Masses to be said for the Repose of his Soul: Upon all which, tho’ not one Word of it was true, he was Buried with all the Ceremonies of the Roman Church.

I think I almost cry’d myself to Death for him; for I abandon’d myself to all the Excesses of Grief; and indeed, I lov’d him to a Degree inexpressible; and considering what Kindness he had shewn me at first, and how tenderly he had us’d me to the last, what cou’d I do less?

Then the Manner of his Death was terrible and frightful to me, and above all, the strange Notices I had of it; I had never pretended to the Second-Sight,65 or any thing of that Kind; but certainly, if any one ever had such a thing, I had it at this time; for I saw him as plainly in all those terrible Shapes, as above, First, as a Skeleton, not Dead only, but rotten and wasted; Secondly, as kill’d, and his Face bloody; and Thirdly, his Cloaths bloody; and all within the Space of one Minute, or indeed, of a very few Moments.

These things amaz’d me, and I was a good-while as one stupid; however, after some time, I began to recover, and look into my Affairs; I had the Satisfaction not to be left in Distress, or in danger of Poverty; on the contrary, besides what he had put into my Hands fairly, in his Life-time, which amounted to a very considerable Value; I found above seven Hundred Pistoles in Gold, in his Scrutore, of which he had given me the Key; and I found Foreign-Bills accepted, for about 12000 Livres;66 so that, in a Word, I found myself possess’d of almost ten Thousand Pounds Sterling, in a very few Days after the Disaster.

The first thing I did upon this Occasion, was, to send a Letter to my Maid, as I still call’d her, Amy; wherein I gave her an Account of my Disaster; how my Husband, as she call’d him (for I never call’d him so) was murther’d; and as I did not know how his Relations, or his Wife’s Friends, might act upon that Occasion, I order’d her to convey away all the Plate, Linnen, and other things of Value, and to secure them in a Person’s Hands that I directed her to, and then to sell, or dispose the Furniture of the House, if she could; and so, without acquainting any-body with the Reason of her going, withdraw; sending Notice to his Head Manager at London, that the House was quitted by the Tennant, and they might come and take Possession of it for the Executors: Amy was so dextrous, and did her Work so nimbly, that she gutted the House, and sent the Key to the said Manager, almost as soon as he had Notice of the Misfortune that befel their Master.

Upon their receiving the surprizing News of his Death, the Head Manager came over to Paris, and came to the House; I made no Scruple of calling myself Madam —, the Widow of Monsieur —, the English Jeweller; and as I spoke French naturally, I did not let him know but that I was his Wife, married in France, and that I had not heard that he had any Wife in England; but pretended to be surpriz’d, and exlaim against him for so base an Action; and that I had good Friends in Poictou, where I was Born, who would take Care to have Justice done me in England, out of his Estate.

I should have observ’d, that as soon as the News was publick, of a Man being murther’d, and that he was a Jeweller, Fame did me the Favour as to publish presently, that he was robb’d of his Casket of Jewels, which he always carry’d about him; I confirm’d this, among my daily Lamentations for his Disaster, and added, that he had with him a fine Diamond Ring, which he was known to wear frequently about him, valued at 100 Pistoles, a Gold Watch, and a great Quantity of Diamonds of inestimable Value, in his Casket; which Jewels he was carrying to the Prince of —, to show some of them to him; and the Prince own’d, that he had spoken to him to bring some such Jewels, to let him see them. But I sorely repented this Part afterward, as you shall hear.

This Rumour put an End to all Enquiry after his Jewells, his Ring, or his Watch; and as for the 700 Pistoles, that I secur’d: For the Bills 67 which were in hand, I own’d I had them; but that, as I said, I brought my Husband 30000 Livres Portion, I claim’d the said Bills, which came to not above 12000 Livres, for my Amende; 68 and this, with the Plate, and the Household-Stuff, was the principal of all his Estate which they could come at; as to the Foreign Bill, which he was going to Versailles to get accepted, it was really lost with him; but his Manager, who had remitted the Bill to him, by Way of Amsterdam, bringing over the second Bill, 69 the Money was sav’d, as they call’d it, which would, otherwise, have been also gone; the Thieves who robb’d and murther’d him, were, to be sure, afraid to send any-body to get the Bill accepted; for that would undoubtedly have discover’d 70 them.

By this time my Maid Amy was arriv’d, and she gave me an Account of her Management, and how she had secur’d every thing, and that she had quitted the House, and sent the Key to the Head-Manager of his Business; and let me know how much she had made of every thing, very punctually and honestly.

I should have observ’d in the Account of his dwelling with me so long at —, that he never pass’d for any thing there, but a Lodger in the House; and tho’ he was Landlord, that did not alter the Case; so that at his Death, Amy coming to quit the House, and give them the Key, there was no affinity between that, and the Case of their Master, who was newly kill’d.

I got good Advice at Paris, from an eminent Lawyer, a Counsellor of the Parliament 71 there, and laying my Case before him, he directed me to make a Process in Dower72 upon the Estate, for making good my new Fortune upon Matrimony, which accordingly I did; and, upon the whole, the Manager went back to England, well satisfied, that he had gotten the unaccepted Bills of Exchange, which was for 2500 l. with some other things, which together, amounted to 17000 Livres; and thus I got rid of him.

I was visited with great Civility on this sad Occasion, of the Loss of my Husband, as they thought him, by a great many Ladies of Quality; and the Prince of —, to whom it was reported he was carrying the Jewels, sent his Gentleman with a very handsome Compliment of Condolance to me; and his Gentleman, whether with, or without Order, hinted, as if his Highness did intend to have visited me himself, but that some Accident, which he made a long Story of, had prevented him.

By the concourse of Ladies and others, that thus came to visit me, I began to be much known; and as I did not forget to set myself out with all possible Advantage, considering the Dress of a Widow, which in those Days was a most frightful thing; I say, as I did thus from my own Vanity, for I was not ignorant that I was very handsome; I say, on this Account, I was soon made very publick, and was known by the Name of La Belle veuve de Poictou; or, The pretty Widow of Poictou: As I was very well pleas’d to see myself thus handsomly us’d in my Affliction, it soon dry’d up all my Tears; and tho’ I appear’d as a Widow, yet, as we say in England, it was of a Widow comforted: I took Care to let the Ladies see, that I knew how to receive them; that I was not at a Loss how to Behave to any of them; and in short, I began to be very popular there; but I had an Occasion afterwards, which made me decline that kind of Management, as you shall hear presently.

About four Days after I had receiv’d the Compliments of Condolance from the Prince —, the same Gentleman he had sent before, came to tell me, that his Highness was coming to give me a Visit; I was indeed, surpriz’d at that, and perfectly at a Loss how to Behave: However, as there was no Remedy, I prepar’d to receive him as well as I cou’d; it was not many Minutes after, but he was at the Door, and came in, introduc’d by his own Gentleman, as above, and after, by my woman, Amy.

He treated me with abundance of Civility, and condol’d handsomely the Loss of my Husband, and likewise the Manner of it; he told me, he understood he was coming to Versailles, to himself, to shew him some Jewels; that it was true, that he had discours’d with him about Jewels, but cou’d not imagine how any Villains shou’d hear of his coming at that time with them; that he had not order’d him to attend with them at Versailles, but told him, that he would come to Paris, by such a Day, so that he was no way accessary to the Disaster: I told him gravely, I knew very well that all his Highness had said of that Part, was true; that these Villains knew his Profession, and knew, no doubt, that he always carry’d a Casket of Jewels about him, and that he always wore a Diamond Ring on his Finger, worth a hundred Pistoles, which Report had magnified to five Hundred; and that if he had been going to any other Place, it wou’d have been the same thing: After this, his Highness rise up to go, and told me, he had resolv’d however, to make me some Reparation; and with these Words, put a silk Purse into my Hand, with a hundred Pistoles, and told me, he would make me a farther Compliment of a small Pension, which his Gentleman would inform me of.

You may be sure I behav’d with a due Sence of so much Goodness, and offer’d to kneel to kiss his Hand, but he took me up, and saluted 73 me, and sat down again, (tho’ before, he made as if he was going away,) making me sit down by him.

He then began to talk with me more familiarly; told me, he hop’d I was not left in bad Circumstances; that Mr. — was reputed to be very Rich, and that he had gain’d lately great Sums by some Jewels; and he hop’d, he said, that I had still a Fortune agreeable to the Condition I had liv’d in before.

I reply’d, with some Tears, which, I confess, were a little forc’d, That I believ’d if Mr. — had liv’d, we shou’d have been out of Danger of Want; but that it was impossible to Estimate the Loss which I had sustain’d, besides that of the Life of my Husband; that by the Opinion of those that knew something of his Affairs, and of what Value the Jewels were which he intended to have shown to his Highness, he could not have less about him, than the Value of a hundred Thousand Livres; 74 that it was a fatal Blow to me, and to his whole Family, especially that they should be lost in such a Manner.

His Highness return’d, with an Air of Concern, that he was very sorry for it; but he hop’d, if I settled in Paris, I might find Ways to restore my Fortune; at the same time he complimented me upon my being very handsome, as he was pleas’d to call it, and that I could not fail of Admirers: I stood up, and humbly thank’d his Highness, but told him, I had no Expectations of that Kind; that I thought I should be oblig’d to go over to England, to look after my Husband’s Effects there, which I was told, were considerable; but that I did not know what Justice a poor Stranger wou’d get among them; and as for Paris, my Fortune being so impair’d, I saw nothing before me, but to go back to Poictou, to my Friends, where some of my Relations, I hop’d, might do something for me, and added, that one of my Brothers was an Abbot at —, near Poictiers.

He stood up, and taking me by the Hand, led me to a large Looking-Glass, which made up the Peir in the Front of the Parlour; Look there, Madam, said he; Is it fit that Face, pointing to my Figure in the Glass, should go back to Poictou? No, Madam, says he, stay, and make some Gentleman of Quality happy, that may, in return, make you forget all your Sorrows; and with that, he took me in his Arms, and kissing me twice, told me, he wou’d see me again, but with less Ceremony.

Some little time after this, but the same Day, his Gentleman came to me again, and with great Ceremony and Respect, deliver’d me a Black Box ty’d with a Scarlet Ribband, and seal’d with a noble Coat of Arms, which, I suppose, was the Prince’s; there was in it a Grant from his Highness, or an Assignment, 75 I know not which to call it, with a Warrant to his Banker to pay me two Thousand Livres a Year, during my Stay in Paris, as the Widow of Monsieur — the Jeweller, mentioning the horrid Murther of my late Husband, as the Occasion of it, as above.

I receiv’d it with great Submission, and Expressions of being infinitely oblig’d to his Master, and of my showing myself on all Occasions, his Highness’s most obedient Servant; and after giving my most humble Duty to his Highness, with the utmost Acknowledgments of the Obligation, &c. I went to a little Cabinet, and taking out some Money, which made a little Sound in taking it out, offer’d to give him five Pistoles.

He drew back, but with the greatest Respect, and told me, he humbly thank’d me, but that he durst not take a Farthing; that his Highness wou’d take it so ill of him, he was sure, he would never see his Face more; but that he wou’d not fail to acquaint his Highness what Respect I had offer’d; and added, I assure you, Madam, you are more in the good Graces of my Master, the Prince of —, than you are aware of; and I believe you will hear more of him.

Now I began to understand him, and resolv’d, if his Highness did come again, he should see me under no Disadvantages, if I could help it: I told him, if his Highness did me the Honour to see me again, I hop’d he would not let me be so surpriz’d as I was before; that I would be glad to have some little Notice of it, and would be oblig’d to him, if he would procure it me; he told me, he was very sure, that when his Highness intended to visit me, he should be sent before, to give me Notice of it; and that he would give me as much Warning of it, as possible.

He came several times after this, on the same Errand, that is, about the Settlement, the Grant, requiring several things yet to be done, for making it payable, without going every time to the Prince again for a fresh Warrant; the Particulars of this Part I did not understand; but as soon as it was finish’d, which was above two Months, the Gentleman came one Afternoon, and said, his Highness design’d to visit me in the Evening; but desir’d to be admitted without Ceremony.

I prepar’d not my Rooms only, but myself; and when he came in, there was no-body appear’d in the House but his Gentleman, and my Maid Amy; and of her I bid the Gentleman acquaint his Highness, that she was an English Woman; that she did not understand a Word of French; and that she was one also that might be trusted.

When he came into my Room, I fell down at his Feet, before he could come, to salute me, and with Words that I had prepar’d, full of Duty and Respect, thank’d him for his Bounty and Goodness to a poor desolate Woman, oppress’d under the Weight of so terrible a Disaster, and refus’d to rise till he would allow me the Honour to kiss his Hand.

Levez vous done,76 says the Prince, taking me in his Arms, I design more Favours for you, than this Trifle; and going on, he added, You shall, for the future, find a Friend where you did not look for it; and I resolve to let you see how kind I can be, to one, who is to me the most agreeable Creature on Earth.

I was dress’d in a kind of half-Mourning, had turn’d off my Weeds,77 and my Head,78 tho’ I had yet no Ribbands or Lace, was so dress’d, as fail’d not to set me out with Advantage enough, for I began to understand his Meaning; and the Prince profess’d, I was the most beautiful Creature on Earth; and where have I liv’d? says he; and how ill have I been serv’d, that I should never, till now, be shew’d the finest Woman in France?

This was the Way, in all the World, the most likely to break in upon my Virtue, if I had been Mistress of any, for I was now become the vainest Creature upon Earth, and particularly, of my Beauty; which, as other People admir’d, so I became every Day more foolishly in Love with myself, than before.

He said some very kind Things to me after this, and sat down with me, for an Hour, or more; when getting up, and calling his Gentleman, by his Name, he threw open the Door, Au Boir,79 says he; upon which, his Gentleman immediately brought up a little Table, cover’d with a fine Damask Cloth, the Table no bigger than he cou’d bring in his two Hands; but upon it, was set two Decanters, one of Champaign,80 and the other of Water, six Silver Plates, and a Service of fine Sweet-Meats in fine China Dishes, on a Sett of Rings standing up about twenty Inches high, one above another; below, was three roasted Partriges, and a Quail; as soon as his Gentleman had set it all down, he order’d him to withdraw; now, says the Prince, I intend to Sup with you.

When he sent away his Gentleman, I stood up, and offer’d to wait on his Highness while he Eat, but he positively refus’d, and told me, No, To-Morrow you shall be the Widow of Monsieur — the Jeweller, but to-Night you shall be my Mistress; therefore sit here, says he, and Eat with me, or I will get up and serve.

I would then have call’d up my Woman, Amy, but I thought that would not be proper neither; so I made my Excuse, that since his Highness wou’d not let his own Servant wait, I wou’d not presume to let my Woman come up; but if he wou’d please to let me wait, it would be my Honour to fill his Highness’s Wine; but, as before, he would by no means allow me; so we sat and Eat together.

Now, Madam, says the Prince, give me leave to lay aside my Character; let us talk together with the Freedom of Equals; my Quality sets me at a Distance from you, and makes you ceremonious; your Beauty exalts you to more than an Equality, I must then treat you, as Lovers do their Mistresses, but I cannot speak the Language; ’tis enough to tell you, how agreeable you are to me; how I am surpriz’d at your Beauty, and resolve to make you happy, and to be happy with you.

I knew not what to say to him a good-while, but blush’d, and looking up towards him, said, I was already made happy, in the Favour of a Person of such Rank; and had nothing to ask of his Highness, but that he would believe me infinitely oblig’d.

After he had Eaten, he pour’d the Sweet-Meats into my Lap; and the Wine being out, he call’d his Gentleman again, to take away the Table, who, at first, only took the Cloth, and the Remains of what was to Eat, away; and laying another Cloth, set the Table on one side of the Room, with a noble Service of Plate upon it, worth, at least, 200 Pistoles; then having set the two Decanters again upon the Table, fill’d, as before, he withdrew, for I found the Fellow understood his Business very well, and his Lord’s Business too.

About half an Hour after, the Prince told me, that I offer’d to wait a little before; that if I would now take the Trouble, he would give me leave to give him some Wine; so I went to the Table, fill’d a Glass of Wine, and brought it to him, on a fine Salver, which the Glasses stood on, and brought the Bottle, or Decanter for Water, in my other Hand, to mix it as he thought fit.

He smil’d, and bid me look on that Salver, which I did, and admir’d it much, for it was a very fine one, indeed: You may see, says he, I resolve to have more of your Company, for my Servant shall leave you that Plate, for my Use: I told him, I believ’d his Highness wou’d not take it ill, that I was not Furnish’d fit to Entertain a Person of his Rank; and that I would take great Care of it, and value myself infinitely upon the Honour of his Highness’s Visit.

It now began to grow late, and he began to take Notice of it; but, says he, I cannot leave you; have you not a spare Lodging, for one Night? I told him, I had but a homely Lodging to Entertain such a Guest; he said something exceeding kind on that Head, but not fit to repeat, adding, that my Company would make him amends.

About Midnight he sent his Gentleman of an Errand, after telling him, aloud, that he intended to stay here all Night; in a little time his Gentleman brought him a Night-Gown, Slippers, two Caps, a Neckcloth, and Shirt, which he gave me to carry into his Chamber, and sent his Man home; and then turning to me, said, I shou’d do him the Honour to be his Chamberlain of the Household, and his Dresser also: I smil’d, and told him, I wou’d do myself the Honour to wait on him upon all Occasions.

About One in the Morning, while his Gentleman was yet with him, I begg’d Leave to withdraw, supposing he wou’d go to-Bed; but he took the Hint, and said, I’m not going to-Bed yet; pray let me see you again.

I took this time to undress me, and to come in a new Dress, which was, in a manner, une Deshabile,81 but so fine, and all about me so clean, and so agreeable, that he seem’d surpriz’d: I thought, says he, you could not have dress’d to more Advantage, than you had done before; but now, says he, you Charm me a. thousand times more, if that be possible.

It is only a loose Habit, my Lord, said I, that I may the better wait on your Highness; he pulls me to him; You are perfectly obliging, says he, and sitting on the Bed-side, says he, Now you shall be a Princess, and know what it is to oblige the gratefullest Man alive; and with that, he took me in his Arms, — I can go no farther in the Particulars of what pass’d at that time; but it ended in this, that, in short, I lay with him all Night.

I have given you the whole Detail of this Story, to lay it down as a black Scheme of the Way how Unhappy Women are ruin’d by Great Men; for tho’ Poverty and Want is an irresistible Temptation to the Poor, Vanity and Great Things are as irresistible to others; to be courted by a Prince, and by a Prince who was first a Benefactor, then an Admirer; to be call’d handsome, the finest Woman in France, and to be treated as a Woman fit for the Bed of a Prince; these are Things, a Woman must have no Vanity in her, nay, no Corruption in her, that is not overcome by it; and my Case was such, that, as before, I had enough of both.

I had now no Poverty attending me; on the contrary, I was Mistress of ten Thousand Pounds before the Prince did any thing for me; had I been Mistress of my Resolution; had I been less obliging, and rejected the first Attack, all had been safe; but my Virtue was lost before, and the Devil, who had found the Way to break-in upon me by one Temptation, easily master’d me now, by another; and I gave myself up to a Person, who, tho’ a Man of high Dignity, was yet the most tempting and obliging, that ever I met with in my Life.

I had the same Particular to insist upon here with the Prince, that I had with my Gentleman before; I hesitated much at consenting, at first asking; but the Prince told me, Princes did not court like other Men; that they brought more powerful Arguments; and he very prettily added, that they were sooner repuls’d than other Men, and ought to be sooner comply’d with; intimating, tho’ very genteely, that after a Woman had positively refus’d him once, he cou’d not, like other Men, wait with Importunities, and Stratagems, and laying long Sieges; but as such Men as he Storm’d warmly, so, if repuls’d, they made no second Attacks; and indeed, it was but reasonable; for as it was below their Rank, to be long battering a Woman’s Constancy, so they ran greater Hazards in being expos’d in their Amours, than other Men did.

I took this for a satisfactory Answer, and told his Highness, that I had the same Thoughts, in respect to the Manner of his Attacks, for that his Person, and his Arguments, were irresistible; that a Person of his Rank, and a Munificence so unbounded, cou’d not be withstood; that no Virtue was Proof against him, except such, as was able too, to suffer Martyrdom; that I thought it impossible I cou’d be overcome, but that now I found it was impossible I shou’d not be overcome; that so much Goodness, join’d with so much Greatness, wou’d have conquer’d a Saint; and that I confess’d he had the Victory over me, by a Merit infinitely superior to the Conquest he had made.

He made me a most obliging Answer; told me, abundance of fine things, which still flatter’d my Vanity, till at last I began to have Pride enough to believe him, and fancy’d myself a fit Mistress for a Prince.

As I had thus given the Prince the Last Favour, and he had all the Freedom with me, that it was possible for me to grant, so he gave me Leave to use as much Freedom with him, another Way, and that was, to have every thing of him, I thought fit to command; and yet I did not ask of him with an Air of Avarice, as if I was greedily making a Penny of him; but I manag’d him with such Art, that he generally anticipated my Demands; he only requested of me, that I wou’d not think of taking another House, as I had intimated to his Highness that I had intended, not thinking it good enough to receive his Visits in; but, he said, my House was the most convenient that could possibly be found in all Paris, for an Amour, especially for him; having a Way out into Three Streets, and not overlook’d by any Neighbours, so that he could pass and repass, without Observation; for one of the Back ways open’d into a narrow dark Alley, which Alley was a Thorow-fare, or Passage, out of one Street into another; and any Person that went in or out by the Door, had no more to do, but to see, that there was no-body following him in the Alley, before he went in at the Door: This Request I knew was reasonable, and therefore I assur’d him, I wou’d not change my Dwelling, seeing his Highness did not think it too mean for me to receive him in.

He also desir’d me, that I wou’d not take any more Servants, or set up any Equipage, at least, for the present; for that it would then be immediately concluded, I had been left very Rich, and then I shou’d be throng’d with the Impertinence of Admirers, who wou’d be attracted by the Money, as well as by the Beauty of a young Widow, and he shou’d be frequently interrupted in his Visits; or, that the World wou’d conclude I was maintain’d by somebody, and wou’d be indefatigable to find out the Person; so that he shou’d have Spies peeping at him, every time he went out or in, which it wou’d be impossible to disappoint;82 and that he shou’d presently have it talk’d over all the Toilets in Paris, that the Prince de — had got the Jeweller’s Widow for a Mistress.

This was too just to oppose; and I made no Scruple to tell his Highness, that since he had stoop’d so low as to make me his own, he ought to have all the Satisfaction in the World, that I was all his own; that I would take all the Measures he should please to direct me, to avoid the impertinent Attacks of others; and that, if he thought fit, I would be wholly within-Doors, and have it given out, that I was oblig’d to go to England, to sollicit my Affairs there, after my Husband’s Misfortune; and that I was not expected there again for at least a Year or two: This he lik’d very well, only, he said, that he would by no means have me confin’d; that it would injure my Health; and that I should then take a Country-House in some Village, a good-way off of the City, where it should not be known who I was; and that I should be there sometimes, to divert me.

I made no Scruple of the Confinement, and told his Highness, no Place could be a Confinement, where I had such a Visiter; and so I put off the Country-House, which would have been to remove myself farther from him, and have less of his Company; so I made the House be, as it were, shut up; Amy, indeed, appear’d; and when any of the Neighbours and Servants enquir’d, she answer’d in broken French, that I was gone to England, to look after my Affairs; which presently went current thro’ the Streets about us: For, you are to note, that the People of Paris, especially the Women, are the most busie and impertinent Enquirers into the Conduct of their Neighbours, especially that of a Single Woman, that are in the World; tho’ there are no greater Intriguers in the Universe than themselves; and perhaps that may be the Reason of it; for it is an old, but a sure Rule; that

When deep Intrigues are close and shy,
The GUILTY are the first that spy.83

Thus his Highness had the most easie, and yet the most undiscoverable Access to me, imaginable, and he seldom fail’d to come two or three Nights in a Week, and sometimes stay’d two or three Nights together: Once he told me, he was resolv’d I should be weary of his Company, and that he would learn to know what it was to be a Prisoner; so he gave out among his Servants, that he was gone to —, where he often went a-Hunting, and that he should not return under a Fortnight; and that Fortnight he stay’d wholly with me, and never went out of my Doors.

Never Woman, in such a Station, liv’d a Fortnight in so compleat a fulness of Humane84Delight; for to have the entire Possession of one of the most accomplish’d Princes in the World, and of the politest, best bred Man; to converse with him all Day, and, as he profess’d, charm him all Night; what could be more inexpressibly pleasing, and especially, to a Woman of a vast deal of Pride, as I was?

To finish the Felicity of this Part, I must not forget, that the Devil had play’d a new Game with me, and prevail’d with me to satisfie myself with this Amour, as a lawful thing; that a Prince of such Grandeur, and Majesty; so infinitely superior to me; and one who had made such an Introduction by an unparalell’d Bounty, I could not resist; and therefore, that it was very Lawful for me to do it, being at that time perfectly single, and uningag’d to any other Man; as I was, most certainly, by the unaccountable Absence of my first Husband, and the Murther of my Gentleman, who went for my second.

It cannot be doubted but that I was the easier to perswade myself of the Truth of such a Doctrine as this, when it was so much for my Ease, and for the Repose of my Mind, to have it be so.

In Things we wish, ’tis easie to deceive;
What we would have, we willingly believe.85

Besides, I had no Casuists to resolve this Doubt; the same Devil that put this into my Head, bade me go to any of the Romish Clergy, and under the Pretence of Confession, state the Case exactly, and I should see they would either resolve it to be no Sin at all, or absolve me upon the easiest Pennance: This I had a strong Inclination to try, but I know not what Scruple put me off of it, for I could never bring myself to like having to do with those Priests; and tho’ it was strange that I, who had thus prostituted my Chastity, and given up all Sence of Virtue, in two such particular Cases, living a Life of open Adultery, should scruple any thing; yet so it was, I argued with myself, that I could not be a Cheat in any thing that was esteem’d Sacred; that I could not be of one Opinion, and then pretend myself to be of another; nor could I go to Confession, who knew nothing of the Manner of it, and should betray myself to the Priest, to be a Hugonot, and then might come into Trouble; but, in short, tho’ I was a Whore, yet I was a Protestant Whore,86 and could not act as if I was Popish, upon any Account whatsoever.

But, I say, I satisfy’d myself with the surprizing Occasion, that, as it was all irresistable, so it was all lawful; for that Heaven would not suffer us to be punish’d for that which it was not possible for us to avoid; and with these Absurdities I kept Conscience from giving me any considerable Disturbance in all this Matter; and I was as perfectly easie as to the Lawfulness of it, as if I had been Marry’d to the Prince, and had had no other Husband: So possible is it for us to roll ourselves up in Wickedness, till we grow invulnerable by Conscience; and that Centinel once doz’d, sleeps fast, not to be awaken’d while the Tide of Pleasure continues to flow, or till something dark and dreadful brings us to ourselves again.

I have, I confess, wonder’d at the Stupidity that my intellectual Part was under 87 all that while; what Lethargick Fumes doz’d the Soul;88 and how it was possible that I, who in the Case before, where the Temptation was many ways more forcible, and the Arguments stronger, and more irrisistable, was yet under a continued Inquietude on account of the wicked Life I led, could now live in the most profound Tranquility, and with an uninterrupted Peace, nay, even rising up to Satisfaction, and Joy, and yet in a more palpable State of Adultery than before; for before, my Gentleman who call’d me Wife, had the Pretence of his Wife being parted from him, refusing to do the Duty of her Office as a Wife to him; as for me, my Circumstances were the same; but as for the Prince, as he had a fine and extraordinary Lady, or Princess, of his own; so he had had two or three Mistresses more besides me, and made no Scruple of it at all.

However, I say, as to my own Part, I enjoy’d myself in perfect Tranquility; and as the Prince was the only Deity I worshipp’d, so I was really his Idol; and however it was with his Princess, I assure you, his other Mistresses found a sensible Difference; and tho’ they could never find me out, yet I had good Intelligence, that they guess’d very well, that their Lord had got some new Favourite that robb’d them of his Company, and perhaps, of some of his usual Bounty too: And now I must mention the Sacrifices he made to his Idol, and they were not a few, I assure you.

As he lov’d like a Prince, so he rewarded like a Prince; for tho’ he declin’d my making a Figure, as above, he let me see, that he was above doing it for the saving the Expence of it, and so he told me, and that he would make it up in other things: First of all, he sent me a Toilet, with all the Appurtenances of Silver, even so much as the Frame of the Table; and then, for the House, he gave me the Table, or Side-board of Plate I mention’d above, with all things belonging to it, of massy Silver; so that, in short, I could not, for my Life, study to ask him for any thing of Plate which I had not.

He could then accommodate me in nothing more but Jewels and Cloaths, or Money for Cloaths; he sent his Gentleman to the Mercer’s, and bought me a Suit, or whole Piece, of the finest Brocaded Silk, figur’d with Gold, and another with Silver, and another of Crimson; so that I had three Suits of Cloaths, such as the Queen of France would not have disdain’d to have worn at that time; yet I went out no-where; but as those were for me to put on, when I went out of Mourning, I dress’d myself in them, one after another, always when his Highness came to see me.

I had no less than five several Morning Dresses besides these, so that I need never be seen twice in the same Dress; to these he added several Parcels of fine Linnen, and of Lace, so much, that I had no room to ask for more, or indeed, for so much.

I took the Liberty once, in our Freedoms, to tell him, he was too Bountiful, and that I was too chargeable to him for a Mistress, and that I would be his faithful Servant, at less Expence to him; and that he not only left me no room to ask him for any thing, but that he supply’d me with such a Profusion of good things, that I scarce could wear them, or use them; unless I kept a great Equipage, which he knew was no way convenient for him, or for me; he smil’d, and took me in his Arms, and told me, he was resolv’d, while I was his, I should never be able to ask him for any-thing; but that he would be daily asking new Favours of me.

After we were up, for this Conference was in Bed, he desir’d I would dress me in the best Suit of Cloaths I had: It was a Day or two after the three suits were made, and brought home; I told him, if he pleas’d, I would rather dress me in that Suit which I knew he lik’d best; he ask’d me, how I could know which he would like best, before he had seen them? I told him, I would presume, for once, to guess at his Fancy by my own; so I went away, and dress’d me in the second Suit, brocaded with Silver, and return’d in full Dress, with a Suit of Lace upon my Head,89 which would have been worth in England, 200 l. Sterling; and I was every Way set out as well as Amy could dress me, who was a very gentile90 Dresser too: In this Figure I came to him, out of my Dressing-Room, which open’d with Folding-Doors into his Bed-Chamber.

He sat as one astonish’d, a good-while, looking at me, without speaking a Word, till I came quite up to him, kneel’d on one Knee to him, and almost whether he would or no, kiss’d his Hand; he took me up, and stood up himself, but was surpriz’d, when taking me in his Arms, he perceiv’d Tears to run down my Cheeks; My Dear, says he, aloud, what mean these Tears? My Lord, said I, after some little Check, for I cou’d not speak presently, I beseech you to believe me, they are not Tears of Sorrow, but Tears of Joy; it is impossible for me to see myself snatch’d from the Misery I was fallen into, and at once to be in the Arms of a Prince of such Goodness, such immense Bounty, and be treated in such a Manner; ’tis not possible, my Lord, said I, to contain the Satisfaction of it; and it will break out in an Excess in some measure proportion’d to your immense Bounty, and to the Affection which your Highness treats me with, who am so infinitely below you.

It wou’d look a little too much like a Romance here, to repeat all the kind things he said to me, on that Occasion; but I can’t omit one Passage; as he saw the Tears drop down my Cheek, he pulls out a fine Cambrick Hankerchief, and was going to wipe the Tears off, but check’d his Hand, as if he was afraid to deface something; I say, he check’d his Hand, and toss’d the Handkerchief to me, to do it myself; I took the Hint immediately, and with a kind of pleasant Disdain, How, my Lord! said I, Have you kiss’d me so often, and don’t you know whether I am Painted,91 or not? Pray let your Highness satisfie yourself, that you have no Cheats put upon you; for once let me be vain enough to say, I have not deceiv’d you with false Colours: With this, I put a Handkerchief into his Hand, and taking his Hand into mine, I made him wipe my Face so hard, that he was unwilling to do it, for fear of hurting me.

He appear’d surpriz’d, more than ever, and swore, which was the first time that I had heard him swear, from my first knowing him, that he cou’d not have believ’d there was any such Skin, without Paint, in the World: Well, my Lord, said I, Your Highness shall have a farther Demonstration than this; as to that which you are pleas’d to accept for Beauty, that it is the meer Work of Nature; and with that, I stept to the Door, and rung a little Bell, for my Woman, Amy, and bade her bring me a Cup-full of hot Water, which she did; and when it was come, I desir’d his Highness to feel if it was warm; which he did, and I immediately wash’d my Face all over with it, before him; this was, indeed, more than Satisfaction, that is to say, than Believing; for it was an undeniable Demonstration, and he kiss’d my Cheeks and Breasts a thousand times, with Expressions of the greatest Surprize imaginable.

Nor was I a very indifferent Figure as to Shape; tho’ I had had two Children by my Gentleman, and six92 by my true Husband, I say, I was no despisable Shape; and my Prince (I must be allow’d the Vanity to call him so) was taking his View of me as I walk’d from one End of the Room to the other, at last he leads me to the darkest Part of the Room, and standing behind me, bade me hold up my Head, when putting both his Hands round my Neck, as if he was spanning my Neck, to see how small it was, for it was long and small; he held my Neck so long, and so hard, in his Hand, that I complain’d he hurt me a little; what he did it for, I knew not, nor had I the least Suspicion but that he was spanning my Neck; but when I said he hurt me, he seem’d to let go, and in half a Minute more, led me to a Peir-Glass, and behold, I saw my Neck clasp’d with a fine Necklace of Diamonds; whereas I felt no more what he was doing, than if he had really done nothing at-all, nor did I suspect it, in the least: If I had an Ounce of Blood in me, that did not fly up into my Face, Neck, and Breasts, it must be from some Interruption in the Vessels; I was all on fire with the Sight, and began to wonder what it was that was coming to me.

However, to let him see that I was not unqualified to receive Benefits; I turn’d about, My Lord, says I, Your Highness is resolv’d to conquer by your Bounty, the very Gratitude of your Servants; you will leave no room for any thing but Thanks, and make those Thanks useless too, by their bearing no Proportion to the Occasion.

I love, Child, says he, to see every thing suitable; a fine Gown and Petticoat; a fine lac’d Head; a fine Face and Neck, and no Necklace, would not have made the Object perfect: But why that Blush, my Dear, says the Prince? My Lord, said I, all your Gifts call for Blushes; but above all, I blush to receive what I am so ill able to merit, and may become so ill also.

Thus far I am a standing Mark of the Weakness of Great Men, in their Vice; that value not squandring away immense Wealth, upon the most worthless Creatures; or to sum it up in a Word, they raise the Value of the Object which they pretend93 to pitch upon, by their Fancy; I say, raise the Value of it, at their own Expence; give vast Presents for a ruinous Favour, which is so far from being equal to the Price, that nothing will, at last, prove more absurd, than the Cost Men are at to purchase their own Destruction.

I cou’d not, in the height of all this fine doings, I say, I cou’d not be without some just Reflection, tho’ Conscience was, as I said, dumb as to any Disturbance it gave me in my Wickedness; my Vanity was fed up to such a height, that I had no room to give Way to such Reflections.

But I could not but sometimes look back, with Astonishment, at the Folly of Men of Quality, who immense in their Bounty, as in their Wealth, give to a Profusion, and without Bounds, to the most scandalous of our Sex, for granting them the Liberty of abusing themselves, and ruining both.

I, that knew what this Carcass of mine had been but a few Years before; how overwhelm’d with Grief, drown’d in Tears, frighted with the Prospect of Beggery, and surrounded with Rags, and Fatherless Children; that was pawning and selling the Rags that cover’d me, for a Dinner, and sat on the Ground, despairing of Help, and expecting to be starv’d, till my Children were snatch’d from me, to be kept by the Parish; I, that was after this, a Whore for Bread, and abandoning Conscience and Virtue, liv’d with another Woman’s Husband; I, that was despis’d by all my Relations, and my Husband’s too; I, that was left so entirely desolate, friendless, and helpless, that I knew not how to get the least Help to keep me from starving; that I should be caress’d by a Prince, for the Honour of having the scandalous Use of my Prostituted Body, common before to his Inferiours; and perhaps wou’d not have denied one of his Footmen but a little while before, if I cou’d have got my Bread by it.

I say, I cou’d not but reflect upon the Brutallity and Blindness of Mankind; that because Nature had given me a good Skin, and some agreeable Features, should suffer that Beauty to be such a Bait to Appetite, as to do such sordid, unaccountable things, to obtain the Possession of it.

It is for this Reason, that I have so largely set down the Particulars of the Caresses I was treated with by the Jeweller, and also by this Prince; not to make the Story an Incentive to the Vice, which I am now such a sorrowful Penitent for being guilty of, God forbid any shou’d make so vile a Use of so good a Design, but to draw the just Picture of a Man enslav’d to the Rage of his vicious Appetite; how he defaces the Image of God in his Soul; dethrones his Reason; causes Conscience to abdicate the Possession, and exalts Sence94 into the vacant Throne; how he deposes the Man, and exalts the Brute.

O! could we hear now, the Reproaches this Great Man afterwards loaded himself with, when he grew weary of this admir’d Creature, and became sick of his Vice! how profitable would the Report of them be to the Reader of this Story; but had he himself also known the dirty History of my Actings upon the Stage of Life, that little time I had been in the World, how much more severe would those Reproaches have been upon himself; but I shall come to this again.

I liv’d in this gay95 sort of Retirement almost three Years, in which time, no Amour of such a Kind, sure, was every carry’d up so high; the Prince knew no Bounds to his Munificence; he cou’d give me nothing, either for my wearing or using, or eating, or drinking, more than he had done from the Beginning.

His Presents were, after that, in Gold, and very frequent, and large; often a hundred Pistoles, never less than fifty, at a time; and I must do myself the Justice, that I seem’d rather backward to receive, than craving, and encroaching; not that I had not an avaricious Tem per; nor was it, that I did not foresee that this was my Harvest, in which I was to gather up, and that it would not last long; but it was, that really his Bounty always anticipated my Expectations, and even my Wishes; and he gave me Money so fast, that he rather pour’d it in upon me, than left me room to ask it; so that, before I could spend fifty Pistoles, I had always a hundred to make it up.

After I had been near a Year and a half in his Arms, as above, or thereabouts, I prov’d with-Child; I did not take any Notice of it to him, till I was satisfied, that I was not deceiv’d; when one Morning early, when we were in Bed together, I said to him, My Lord, I doubt96 your Highness never gives yourself Leave to think, what the Case should be, if I should have the Honour to be with-Child by you: Why, my Dear, says he, we are able to keep it, if such a thing should happen; I hope you are not concern’d about that: No, my Lord, said I, I should think myself very happy, if I could bring your Highness a Sort, I should hope to see him a Lieutenant-General of the King’s Armies, by the Interest of his Father, and by his own Merit.

Assure yourself, Child, says he, if it shou’d be so, I will not refuse owning him for my Son, tho’ it be, as they call it, a Natural Son; and shall never slight or neglect him, for the sake of his Mother: Then he began to importune me, to know if it was so; but I positively denied it so long, till at last, I was able to give him the Satisfaction of knowing it himself, by the Motion of the Child within me.

He profess’d himself overjoy’d at the Discovery, but told me, that now it was absolutely necessary for me to quit the Confinement, which, he said, I had suffer’d for his sake, and to take a House somewhere in the Country, in order for Health, as well as for Privacy, against my Lying-in: This was quite out of my Way; but the Prince, who was a Man of Pleasure, had, it seems, several Retreats of this Kind, which he had made use of, I suppose, upon like Occasions; and so leaving it, as it were, to his Gentleman, he provided a very convenient House, about four Miles South of Paris, at the Village of—, where I had very agreeable Lodgings, good Gardens, and all things very easie, to my Content; but one thing did not please me at all, viz. that an Old Woman was provided, and put into the House, to furnish every thing necessary to my Lying-in, and to assist at my Travel.

I did not like this Old Woman at all; she look’d so like a Spy upon me, or, (as sometimes I was frighted to imagine) like one set privately to dispatch me out of the World, as might best suit with the Circumstance of my Lying-in; and when his Highness came the next time to see me, which was not many Days, I expostulated a little on the Subject of the Old Woman; and by the Management of my Tongue, as well as by the Strength of reasoning, I convinc’d him, that it would not be at all convenient; that it would be the greater Risque on his Side; and that first, or last, it would certainly expose him, and me also; I assur’d him, that my Servant being an English Woman, never knew, to that Hour, who his Highness was; that I always call’d him the Count de Clerac; and that she knew nothing else of him, nor ever should; that if he would give me leave to choose proper Persons for my Use, it shou’d be so order’d; that not one of them should know who he was, or perhaps, ever see his Face; and that for the reallity of the Child that should be born, his Highness, who had alone been at the first of it, should, if he pleas’d, be present in the Room all the Time; so that he would need no Witnesses on that Account.

This Discourse fully satisfied him, so that he order’d his Gentleman to dismiss the Old Woman the same Day; and, without any Difficulty, I sent my Maid Amy to Callais, and thence to Dover, where she got an English Midwife, and an English Nurse, to come over, on purpose to attend an English Lady of Quality, as they stil’d me, for four Months certain: The Midwife, Amy had agreed to pay a hundred Guineas to, and bear her Charges to Paris, and back again to Dover; the poor Woman that was to be my Nurse, had twenty Pounds, and the same Terms for Charges, as the other.

I was very easie when Amy return’d, and the more, because she brought with the Midwife, a good Motherly sort of Woman, who was to be her Assistant, and would be very helpful on Occasion; and bespoke a Man-Midwife at Paris too, if there should be any Necessity for his Help: Having thus made Provision for every thing, the Count, for so we all call’d him in publick, came as often to see me, as I could expect, and continued exceeding kind, as he had always been; one Day, conversing together, upon the Subject of my being with-Child, I told him how all things were in order; but that I had a strange Apprehension that I should die with that Child: He smil’d, So all the Ladies say, my Dear, says he, when they are with-Child: Well, however, my Lord, said I, it is but just, that Care should be taken, that what you have bestow’d in your Excess of Bounty upon me, should not be lost; and upon this, I pull’d a Paper out of my Bosom, folded up, but not seal’d, and I read it to him: Wherein I had left Order, that all the Plate and Jewels, and fine Furniture, which his Highness had given me, should be restor’d to him by my Woman, and the Keys be immediately deliver’d to his Gentleman, in case of Disaster.

Then I recommended my Woman, Amy, to his Favour for a hundred Pistoles, on Condition she gave the Keys up, as above, to his Gentleman, and his Gentleman’s Receipt for them; when he saw this, My Dear Child, said he, and took me in his Arms, What, have you been making your Will, and disposing your Effects? Pray who do you make your universal Heir? So far as to do Justice to your Highness, in case of Mortality, I have, my Lord, said I, and who should I dispose the valuable things to, which I have had from your Hand, as Pledges of your Favour, and Testimonies of your Bounty, but to the Giver of them? If the Child should live, your Highness will, I don’t question, act like yourself in that Part, and I shall have the utmost Satisfaction, that it will be well us’d by your Direction.

I cou’d see he took this very well: I have forsaken all the Ladies in Paris, says he, for you; and I have liv’d every Day since I knew you, to see that you know how to merit all that a Man of Honour can do for you; be easie, Child, I hope you shall not die; and all you have is your own, to do what with it you please.

I was then within about two Months of my Time, and that soon wore off; when I found my Time was come, it fell out very happily, that he was in the House, and I entreated he would continue a few Hours in the House, which he agreed to; they call’d his Highness to come into the Room, if he pleas’d, as I had offer’d, and as I desir’d him, and I sent Word, I would make as few Cries as possible, to prevent disturbing him; he came into the Room once, and call’d to me, to be of good Courage, it wou’d soon be over, and then he withdrew again; and in about half an Hour more, Amy carried him the News, that I was Deliver’d, and had brought him a charming Boy; he gave her ten Pistoles for her News, stay’d till they had adjusted things about me, and then came into the Room again, chear’d me, and spoke kindly to me, and look’d on the Child, then withdrew; and came again the next Day, to visit me.

Since this, and when I have look’d back upon these things with Eyes unpossess’d with Crime, when the wicked Part has appear’d in its clearer Light, and I have seen it in its own natural Colours; when no more blinded with the glittering Appearances, which at that time deluded me, and, as in like Cases, if I may guess at others by myself; too much possess’d the Mind; I say, since this, I have often wonder’d, with what Pleasure, or Satisfaction, the Prince cou’d look upon the poor innocent Infant; which, tho’ his own, and that he might that Way have some Attachment in his Affections to it, yet must always afterwards be a Remembrancer to him of his most early Crime; and which was worse, must bear upon itself, un merited, an eternal Mark of Infamy, which should be spoken of, upon all Occasions, to its Reproach, from the Folly of its Father, and Wickedness of its Mother.

Great Men are, indeed, deliver’d from the Burthen of their Natural Children, or Bastards, as to their Maintenance: This is the main Affliction in other Cases, where there is not Substance sufficient, without breaking into the Fortunes of the Family; in those Cases, either a Man’s legitimate Children suffer, which is very unnatural; or the unfortunate Mother of that illegitimate Birth, has a dreadful Affliction, either of being turn’d off with her Child, and be left to starve, &c. or of seeing the poor Infant pack’d off with a Piece of Money, to some of those She-Butchers,97 who take Children off of their Hands, as ’tis call’d; that is to say, starve ’em, and, in a Word, murther ’em.

Great Men, I say, are deliver’d from this Burthen, because they are always furnish’d to supply the Expence of their Out-of-the-Way Off-spring, by making little Assignments upon the Bank of Lyons, or the Town-House of Paris, and settling those Sums, to be receiv’d for the Maintenance of such Expence as they see Cause.

Thus, in the Case of this Child of mine, while he and I convers’d, there was no need to make any Appointment, as an Appennage, or Maintenance for the Child, or its Nurse; for he supplied me more than sufficiently for all those things; but afterward, when Time, and a particular Circumstance, put an End to our conversing together; as such things always meet with a Period, and generally break off abruptly; I say, after that, I found he appointed the Children a settled Allowance, by an Assignment of annual Rent, upon the Bank of Lyons, which was sufficient for bringing them handsomely, tho’ privately, up in the World; and that not in a Manner unworthy of their Father’s Blood, tho’ I came to be sunk and forgotten in the Case; nor did the Children ever know any-thing of their Mother, to this Day, other, than as you may have an Account hereafter.

But to look back to the particular Observation I was making, which, I hope may be of Use to those who read my Story; I say, it was something wonderful to me, to see this Person so exceedingly delighted at the Birth of this Child, and so pleas’d with it; for he would sit and look at it, and with an Air of Seriousness sometimes, a great while together; and particularly, I observ’d, he lov’d to look at it when it was asleep.

It was, indeed, a lovely, charming Child, and had a certain Vivacity in its Countenance, that is, far from being common to all Children so young; and he would often say to me, that he believ’d there was something extraordinary in the Child, and he did not doubt but he would come to be a Great Man.

I could never hear him say so, but tho’ secretly it pleas’d me, yet it so closely touch’d me another Way, that I could not refrain Sighing, and sometimes Tears; and one time, in particular, it so affected me, that I could not conceal it from him; but when he saw Tears run down my Face, there was no concealing the Occasion from him; he was too importunate to be deny’d, in a thing of that Moment; so I frankly answer’d, It sensibly affects me, MY LORD, said I, that whatever the Merit of this little Creature may be, he must always have a Bend98 on his Arms; the Disaster of his Birth will be always, not a Blot only to his Honour, but a Bar to his Fortunes in the World; our Affection will be ever his Affliction, and his Mother’s Crime be the Son’s Reproach; the Blot can never be wip’d out by the most glorious Actions; nay, if it lives to raise a Family, said I, the Infamy must descend even to its innocent Posterity.

He took the Thought, and sometimes told me afterwards, that it made a deeper Impression on him, than he discover’d to me at that time; but for the present, he put it off, with telling me, these things cou’d not be help’d; that they serv’d for a Spur to the Spirits of brave Men; inspir’d them with the Principles of Gallantry, and prompted them to brave Actions; that tho’ it might be true, that the mention of Illegitimacy might attend the Name, yet that Personal Virtue plac’d a Man of Honour above the Reproach of his Birth; that as he had no Share in the Offence, he would have no Concern at the Blot; when having by his own Merit plac’d himself out of the reach of Scandal, his Fame shou’d drown the Memory of his Beginning.

That as it was usual for Men of Quality to make such little Escapes,99 so the Number of their Natural Children were so great, and they generally took such good Care of their Education, that some of the greatest Men in the World had a Bend in their Coats of Arms, and that it was of no Consequence to them, especially when their Fame began to rise upon the Basis of their acquir’d Merit; and upon this, he began to reckon up to me some of the greatest Families in France, and in England also.

This carry’d off our Discourse for a time; but I went farther with him once, removing the Discourse from the Part attending our Children, to the Reproach which those Children would be apt to throw upon us, their Originals; and when speaking a little too feelingly on the Subject, he began to receive the Impression a little deeper than I wish’d he had done; at last he told me, I had almost acted the Confessor to him; that I might, perhaps, preach a more dangerous Doctrine to him, than we shou’d either of us like, or than I was aware of; for, my Dear, says he, if once we come to talk of Repentance, we must talk of parting.

If Tears were in my Eyes before, they flow’d too fast now to be restrain’d, and I gave him but too much Satisfaction by my Looks, that I had yet no Reflections upon my Mind, strong enough to go that Length, and that I could no more think of Parting, than he could.

He said a great many kind things, which were Great, like himself, and extenuating our Crime, intimated to me, that he cou’d no more part with me, than I cou’d with him; so we both, as I may say, even against our Light, and against our Conviction, concluded to SIN ON; in deed, his Affection to the Child, was one great Tye to him, for he was extremely fond of it.

This Child liv’d to be a considerable Man: He was first, an Officer of the Guard du Corps of France; 100 and afterwards Colonel of a Regiment of Dragoons, in Italy; and on many extraordinary Occasions, shew’d, that he was not unworthy such a Father, but many ways deserving a legitimate Birth, and a better Mother: Of which hereafter.

I think I may say now, that I liv’d indeed like a Queen; or if you will have me confess, that my Condition had still the Reproach of a Whore, I may say, I was sure, the Queen of Whores; for no Woman was ever more valued, or more caress’d by a Person of such Quality, only in the Station of a Mistress; I had, indeed, one Deficiency, which Women in such Circumstances seldom are chargeable with; namely, I crav’d nothing of him; I never ask’d him for any thing in my Life; nor suffer’d myself to be made use of, as is too much the Custom of Mistresses, to ask Favours for others; his Bounty always prevented me in the first, and my strict concealing myself, in the last; which was no less to my Convenience, than his.

The only Favour I ever ask’d of him, was, for his Gentleman, who he had all along intrusted with the Secret of our Affair, and who had once so much offended him, by some Omissions in his Duty, that he found it very hard to make his Peace; he came and laid his Case before my Woman, Amy, and begg’d her to speak to me, to interceed for him; which I did, and on my Account, he was receiv’d again, and pardon’d; for which, the grateful Dog requited me, by getting to-Bed to his Benefactress, Amy; at which I was very angry; but Amy generously acknowledg’d, that it was her Fault as much as his; that she lov’d the Fellow so much, that she believ’d, if he had not ask’d her, she should have ask’d him; I say, this pacify’d me, and I only obtain’d of her, that she should not let him know, that I knew it.

I might have interspers’d this Part of my Story with a great many pleasant Parts,101 and Discourses, which happen’d between my Maid Amy, and I; but I omit them, on account of my own Story, which has been so extraordinary: However, I must mention something, as to Amy, and her Gentleman; I enquir’d of Amy, upon what Terms they came to be so intimate; but Amy seem’d backward to explain herself; I did not care to press her upon a Question of that Nature, knowing that she might have answer’d my Question with a Question, and have said, Why, how did I and the Prince come to be so intimate? so I left off farther inquiring into it, till after some time, she told it me all freely; of her own Accord, which, to cut it short, amounted to no more than this, that like Mistress, like Maid; as they had many leisure Hours together below, while they waited respectively, when his Lord and I were together above; I say, they could hardly avoid the usual Question one to another, namely, Why might not they do the same thing below, that we did above?

On that Account, indeed, as I said above, I could not find in my Heart to be angry with Amy; I was indeed, afraid the Girl would have been with-Child too, but that did not happen, and so there was no Hurt done; for Amy had been hansell’d102 before, as well as her Mistress, and by the same Party too, as you have heard.

After I was up again, and my Child provided with a good Nurse, and withal, Winter coming on, it was proper to think of coming to Paris again, which I did; but as I had now a Coach and Horses, and some Servants to attend me, by my Lord’s Allowance, I took the Liberty to have them come to Paris sometimes, and so to take a Tour into the Garden of the Thuilleries, and the other pleasant Places of the City: It happen’d one Day, that my Prince (if I may call him so) had a-Mind to give me some Diversion, and to take the Air with me; but that he might do it, and not be publickly known, he comes to me in a Coach of the Count de —, a great Officer of the Court, attended by his Liveries also; so that, in a word, it was impossible to guess by the Equipage, who I was, or who I belong’d to; also, that I might be the more effectually conceal’d, he order’d me to be taken up at a Mantua-Maker’s103 House, where he sometimes came, whether upon other Amours, or not, was no Business of mine to enquire: I knew nothing whither he intended to carry me; but when he was in the Coach with me, he told me, he had order’d his Servants to go to Court with me, and he would shew me some of the Beau Monde; I told him, I car’d not where I went, while I had the Honour to have him with me; so he carried me to the fine Palace of Meudon,104 where the Dauphine105 then was, and where he had some particular Intimacy with one of the Dauphine’s Domesticks, who procur’d a Retreat for me in his Lodgings, while we stay’d there; which was three or four Days.

While I was there, the KING happen’d to come thither, from Versailles, and making but a short Stay, visited Madam the Dauphiness, who was then living:106 The Prince was here Incognito, only because of his being with me; and therefore, when he heard, that the KING was in the Gardens, he kept close with in the Lodgings; but the Gentleman, in whose Lodgings we were, with his Lady, and several others, went out to see the KING, and I had the Honour to be ask’d to go with them.

After we had seen the KING, who did not stay long in the Gardens, we walk’d up the Broad Terrass, and crossing the Hall, towards the Great Stair-Case, I had a Sight, which confounded me at once, as, I doubt not, it wou’d have done to any Woman in the World: The Horse-Guards, or what they call there the Gensd’arms, had upon some Occasion, been either upon Duty, or been Review’d, or something (I did not understand that Part) was the Matter, that occasion’d their being there, I know not what; but walking in the Guard-Chamber, and with his Jack-Boots on, and the whole Habit of the Troop, as it is worn; when our Horse-Guards are upon Duty, as they call it, at St. James’s-Park; I say, there, to my inexpressible Confusion, I saw Mr. —, my first Husband, the Brewer.

I cou’d not be deceiv’d; I pass’d so near him, that I almost brush’d him with my Cloaths, and look’d him full in the Face, but having my Fan before my Face, so that he cou’d not know me; however, I knew him perfectly well, and I heard him speak, which was a second Way of knowing him; besides, being, you may be sure, astonish’d and surpriz’d at such a Sight, I turn’d about after I had pass’d him some Steps, and pretending to ask the Lady that was with me, some Questions, I stood as if I had view’d the Great Hall, the outer Guard-Chamber, and some other things; but I did it, to take a full View of his Dress, that I might farther inform myself.

While I stood thus amusing the Lady that was with me, with Questions, he walk’d, talking with another Man of the same Cloth, back again, just by me; and to my particular Satisfaction, or Dissatisfaction, take it which way you will, I heard him speak English, the other being, it seems, an Englishman.

I then ask’d the Lady some other Questions; Pray, Madam, says I, what are these Troopers, here? are they the KING’S Guards? No, says she, they are the Gensd’arms; a small Detachment of them, I suppose, attended the KING to-Day, but they are not his Majesty’s ordinary Guard; another Lady that was with her, said, No, Madam, it seems that is not the Case; for I heard them saying, the Gensd’arms were here to-day by special Order, some of them being to march towards the Rhine, and these attend for Orders; but they go back to-Morrow to Orleans, where they are expected.

This satisfied me in Part, but I found Means after this, to enquire, whose particular Troop it was that the Gentlemen that were here, belong’d to; and with that, I heard, they would all be at Paris the Week after.

Two Days after this, we return’d for Paris, when I took Occasion to speak to my Lord, that I heard the Gens d’arms were to be in the City the next Week, and that I should be charm’d with seeing them March, if they came in a Body: He was so obliging in such things, that I need but just name a thing of that Kind, and it was done; so he order’d his Gentleman (I shou’d now call him Amy’s Gentleman,) to get me a Place in a certain House, where I might see them March.

As he did not appear with me on this Occasion, so I had the Liberty of taking my Woman, Amy, with me; and stood where we were very well accommodated for the Observation which I was to make: I told Amy what I had seen, and she was as forward to make the Discovery, as I was to have her, and almost as much surpriz’d at the thing itself; in a Word, the Gensd’arms enter’d the City, as was expected, and made a most glorious Show indeed, being new-cloath’d and arm’d, and being to have their Standards bless’d by the Archbishop of Paris; on this Occasion, they indeed, look’d very gay; and as they march’d very leisurely, I had time to take as critical a View, and make as nice a Search among them, as I pleas’d: Here, in a particular Rank, eminent for one monstrous siz’d Man on the Right; here, I say, I saw my Gentleman again, and a very handsome jolly Fellow he was, as any in the Troop, tho’ not so monstrous large as that great one I speak of, who it seems was, however, a Gentleman of a good Family in Gascogne, and was call’d the Giant of Gascogne.

It was a kind of a good Fortune to us, among the other Circumstances of it, that something caus’d the Troops to Halt in their March, a little before that particular Rank came right-against that Window which I stood in, so that then we had Occasion to take our full View of him, at a small Distance, and so, as not to doubt of his being the same Person.

Amy, who thought she might, on many Accounts, venture with more Safety to be particular, than I cou’d, ask’d her Gentleman, how a particular Man, who she saw there, among the Gensd’arms, might be enquir’d after, and found out; she having seen an Englishman riding there, which was suppos’d to be dead in England for several Years before she came out of London, and that his Wife had marry’d again: It was a Question the Gentleman did not well understand how to answer; but another Person, that stood by, told her, if she wou’d tell him the Gentleman’s Name, he wou’d endeavour to find him out for her, and ask’d jestingly, if he was her Lover? Amy put that off with a Laugh, but still continued her Enquiry, and in such a Manner, as the Gentleman easily perceiv’d she was in earnest; so he left bantering, and ask’d her in what Part of the Troop he rode; she foolishly told him his Name, which she shou’d not have done; and pointing to the Cornet that Troop carried, which was not then quite out of Sight, she let him easily know whereabouts he rode, only she cou’d not name the Captain; however, he gave her such Directions afterwards, that, in short, Amy, who was an indefatigable Girl, found him out; it seems he had not chang’d his Name, not supposing any Enquiry would be made after him here; but, I say, Amy found him out, and went boldly to his Quarters, ask’d for him, and he came out to her immediately.

I believe I was not more confounded at my first seeing him at Meudon, than he was at seeing Amy; he started, and turn’d pale as Death; Amy believ’d, if he had seen her at first, in any convenient Place for sovillainous a Purpose, he would have murther’d her.

But he started, as I say above, and ask’d in English, with an Admiration,107 What are you! Sir, says she, don’t you know me? Yes, says he, I knew you when you were alive, but what you are now, whether Ghost or Substance, I know not: Be not afraid, Sir, of that, says Amy, I am the same Amy that I was in your Service, and do not speak to you now for any Hurt, but that I saw you accidentally, Yesterday, ride among the Soldiers, I thought you might be glad to hear from your Friends at London: Well, Amy, says he, then, having a little recover’d himself, How does every-body do? What, is your Mistress here? Thus they begun.

Amy. My Mistress, Sir, alass! not the Mistress you mean, poor Gentlewoman, you left her in a sad Condition.

Gent. Why, that’s true, Amy, but it cou’d not be help’d; I was in a sad Condition myself.

Amy. I believe so, indeed, Sir, or else you had not gone away as you did; for it was a very terrible Condition you left them all in, that I must say.

Gent. What did they do, after I was gone?

Amy. Do, Sir! very miserably, you may be sure; how could it be otherwise?

Gent. Well, that’s true indeed; but you may tell me, Amy, what became of them, if you please; for tho’ I went so away, it was not because I did not love them all very well, but because I could not bear to see the Poverty that was coming upon them, and which it was not in my Power to help; what could I do?

Amy. Nay, I believe so, indeed, and I have heard my Mistress say, many times, she did not doubt but your Affliction was as great as hers, almost, wherever you were.

Gent.