Till, at last, with a
violent effort he turned and seized it. And then the thing he grasped
at slipped between his fingers and ran easily away. It had a grey and
yellow face, and it moved through all its parts. It flowed as water
flows, and yet was solid. It was centuries old.
He cried out to it. “Who are you? What is your name? I surely know
you … but I have forgotten … ?”
And it stopped, turning from far away its great uncovered
countenance of nameless colouring. He caught a voice. It rolled and
boomed and whispered like the wind. And then he woke, with a curious
shaking in his heart, and a little touch of chilly perspiration on the
skin.
But the voice seemed in the room still—close beside him:
“I am the Sand,” he heard, before it died away.
And next he realised that the glitter of Paris lay behind him, and a
steamer was taking him with much unnecessary motion across a sparkling
sea towards Alexandria. Gladly he saw the Riviera fade below the
horizon, with its hard bright sunshine treacherous winds, and its smear
of rich, conventional English. All restlessness now had left him. True
vagabond still at forty, he only felt the unrest and discomfort of life
when caught in the network of routine and rigid streets, no chance of
breaking loose. He was off again at last, money scarce enough indeed,
but the joy of wandering expressing itself in happy emotions of
release. Every warning of calculation was stifled. He thought of the
American woman who walked out of her Long Island house one summer’s day
to look at a passing sail—and was gone eight years before she walked
in again. Eight years of roving travel! He had always felt respect and
admiration for that woman.
For Felix Henriot, with his admixture of foreign blood, was
philosopher as well as vagabond, a strong poetic and religious strain
sometimes breaking out through fissures in his complex nature. He had
seen much life; had read many books. The passionate desire of youth to
solve the world’s big riddles had given place to a resignation filled
to the brim with wonder. Anything might be true. Nothing surprised him.
The most outlandish beliefs, for all he knew, might fringe truth
somewhere. He had escaped that cheap cynicism with which disappointed
men soothe their vanity when they realise that an intelligible
explanation of the universe lies beyond their powers. He no longer
expected final answers.
For him, even the smallest journeys held the spice of some
adventure; all minutes were loaded with enticing potentialities. And
they shaped for themselves somehow a dramatic form. “It’s like a
story,” his friends said when he told his travels. It always was a
story.
But the adventure that lay waiting for him where te silent streets
of little Helouan kiss the great Desert’s lips, was of a different kind
to any Henriot had yet encountered. Looking back, he has often asked
himself, “How in the world can I accept it?”
And, perhaps, he never yet has accepted it. It was sand that brought
it. For the Desert, the stupendous thing that mothers little Helouan,
produced it.
[1] “The Lake Isle of Innisfree” —W. B. Yeats.
[2] Prometheus Unbound —Percy Bysshe Shelley.
HE SLIPPED through Cairo with the same relief that he left the
Riviera, resenting its social vulgarity so close to the imperial
aristocracy of the Desert; he settled down into the peace of soft and
silent little Helouan.
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