#blessed

Gertrude likes this.

REPLY

Hamlet: Srsly?

Group text: Claudius, Voltimand, Cornelius

Claudius

I need u guys.

Voltimand

What’s up?

Claudius

Did you c the link Horatio posted?

Cornelius

Yeah, everyone’s been talking about it.

Claudius

K well I didn’t read the whole , but it sounds like I need ppl 2 go 2 Norway, talk w/ Fortinbras’s uncle, and convince him to keep his from attacking us. Can u do that 4 me?

Voltimand

Yeah, np.

Cornelius

We’ll catch the next .

Claudius

Thx. I’d do it myself but I have my 2nite.

+ i’m the king

Group text: Laertes, Claudius, Polonius

Laertes

Your ness, I have something 2 ask of u.

Claudius

Yes?

Laertes

It’s been gr8 seeing u and everything, but now that it’s over, I’d like 2 go back 2 school in France.

Claudius

Polonius, wut do u think? Laertes

Polonius

by me.

Claudius

Laertes, u r free 2 go. Ttyl.

Group text: Claudius, Hamlet, Gertrude

Claudius

Hamlet, my nephew/new son! Wut’s new?

Hamlet

That about covers it.

Claudius

Something wrong? Why is ur head still ?

Hamlet

Actually, I am too much in the . I can’t believe you people are like nothing happened.

Gertrude

Son, I wish you would . It’s common to . But everything that lives must eventually.

Hamlet

Common is one word for it.

Gertrude

Why do you seem to take it to ?

Hamlet

Seem? No, Mother. I don’t SEEM . I AM .

Claudius

Hamlet, really, it’s been 2 months already ! Move on! Look @ ur mother. She’s already remarried! Parents all the . I’m ur father now. Deal. 1 day you’ll be king just like me!!! !

HAMLET

help me. God, I want to . I wish I could and not go to for killing myself. My dad hasn’t even been two months, and already everyone has forgotten about him. He was such an amazing , and he gets replaced by my uncle.

Does no one remember how good my father was to my mother? I wish I didn’t have to about it. She was with him. And yet 2 s later she has completely moved on. How is that possible?? Even are more loyal than that. And not only does she move on, she MARRIES my father’s brother. My UNCLE. Who is the complete and total OPPOSITE of my father. Her were barely dry by the wedding. It’s too much too fast. (Also, kind of INCEST. Just saying.)

It’s bad.