I
lost all recollection of how she looked in a town. The memory somehow
evaporated. This slim creature before me, flitting to and fro with the
grace of the woodland life, swift, supple, adroit, on her knees blowing
the fire, or stirring the frying-pan through a veil of smoke, suddenly
seemed the only way I had ever really seen her. Here she was at home;
in London she became some one concealed by clothes, an artificial doll
overdressed and moving by clockwork, only a portion of her alive. Here
she was alive all over.
I forget altogether how she was dressed, just as I
forget how any particular tree was dressed, or how the markings ran on
any one of the boulders that lay about the Camp. She looked just as
wild and natural and untamed as everything else that went to make up
the scene, and more than that I cannot say.
Pretty, she was decidedly not. She was thin, skinny,
dark-haired, and possessed of great physical strength in the form of
endurance. She had, too, something of the force and vigorous purpose of
a man, tempestuous sometimes and wild to passionate, frightening her
mother, and puzzling her easy-going father with her storms of
waywardness, while at the same time she stirred his admiration by her
violence. A pagan of the pagans she was besides, and with some haunting
suggestion of old-world pagan beauty about her dark face and eyes.
Altogether an odd and difficult character, but with a generosity and
high courage that made her very lovable.
In town life she always seemed to me to feel
cramped, bored, a devil in a cage, in her eyes a hunted expression as
though any moment she dreaded to be caught. But up in these spacious
solitudes all this disappeared. Away from the limitations that plagued
and stung her, she would show at her best, and as I watched her moving
about the Camp I repeatedly found myself thinking of a wild creature
that had just obtained its freedom and was trying its muscles.
Peter Sangree, of course, at once went down before
her. But she was so obviously beyond his reach, and besides so well
able to take care of herself, that I think her parents gave the matter
but little thought, and he himself worshipped at a respectful distance,
keeping admirable control of his passion in all respects save one; for
at his age the eyes are difficult to master, and the yearning, almost
the devouring, expression often visible in them was probably there
unknown even to himself. He, better than any one else, understood that
he had fallen in love with something most hard of attainment, something
that drew him to the very edge of life, and almost beyond it. It, no
doubt, was a secret and terrible joy to him, this passionate worship
from afar; only I think he suffered more than any one guessed, and that
his want of vitality was due in large measure to the constant stream of
unsatisfied yearning that poured for ever from his soul and body.
Moreover, it seemed to me, who now saw them for the first time
together, that there was an un-namable something—an elusive quality of
some kind—that marked them as belonging to the same world, and that
although the girl ignored him she was secretly, and perhaps unknown to
herself, drawn by some attribute very deep in her own nature to some
quality equally deep in his.
This, then, was the party when we first settled down
into our two months’ camp on the island in the Baltic Sea. Other
figures flitted from time to time across the scene, and sometimes one
reading man, sometimes another, came to join us and spend his four
hours a day in the clergyman’s tent, but they came for short periods
only, and they went without leaving much trace in my memory, and
certainly they played no important part in what subsequently happened.
The weather favoured us that night, so that by
sunset the tents were up, the boats unloaded, a store of wood collected
and chopped into lengths, and the candle-lanterns hung round ready for
lighting on the trees. Sangree, too, had picked deep mattresses of
balsam boughs for the women’s beds, and had cleared little paths of
brushwood from their tents to the central fireplace. All was prepared
for bad weather. It was a cosy supper and a well-cooked one that we sat
down to and ate under the stars, and, according to the clergyman, the
only meal fit to eat we had seen since we left London a week before.
The deep stillness, after that roar of steamers,
trains, and tourists, held something that thrilled, for as we lay round
the fire there was no sound but the faint sighing of the pines and the
soft lapping of the waves along the shore and against the sides of the
boat in the lagoon. The ghostly outline of her white sails was just
visible through the trees, idly rocking to and fro in her calm
anchorage, her sheets flapping gently against the mast. Beyond lay the
dim blue shapes of other islands floating in the night, and from all
the great spaces about us came the murmur of the sea and the soft
breathing of great woods. The odours of the wilderness—smells of wind
and earth, of trees and water, clean, vigorous, and mighty—were the
true odours of a virgin world unspoilt by men, more penetrating and
more subtly intoxicating than any other perfume in the whole world.
Oh!—and dangerously strong, too, no doubt, for some natures!
“Ahhh!” breathed out the clergyman after supper,
with an indescribable gesture of satisfaction and relief. “Here there
is freedom, and room for body and mind to turn in. Here one can work
and rest and play. Here one can be alive and absorb something of the
earth-forces that never get within touching distance in the cities. By
George, I shall make a permanent camp here and come when it is time to
die!”
The good man was merely giving vent to his delight
at being under canvas. He said the same thing every year, and he said
it often. But it more or less expressed the superficial feelings of us
all.
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