(he picks up the book) I was reading this book, couldn’t understand a word of it. I fell asleep over it.

DUNYASHAI think they’re here.

LOPAKHIN (listens)No, there’ll be bags to get down and all that sort of thing.

Pause.

DUNYASHAThe dogs were stirring all night—they know the mistress is coming.

LOPAKHINAre you all right, Dunyasha?—you’re . . .

DUNYASHAMy hands won’t stop shaking. I feel as if I’m going to swoon.

LOPAKHINYou’re too sensitive for your own good. You dress up like a lady, and look at your hair. It won’t do. You want to remember where you come from.

Enter YEPIKHODOV with a bunch of flowers. He wears a jacket and brightly polished boots that squeak loudly. As he enters, he drops a few flowers clumsily.

YEPIKHODOV (picking up the flowers)For the dining-room—the gardener sent them in.

He hands Dunyasha the flowers.

LOPAKHIN (to Dunyasha)And bring me some kvass, would you?

DUNYASHA (going out)Yes, sir.

YEPIKHODOVThree degrees of frost and the cherry trees in blossom—I don’t call that a climate, I mean really, the seasons get no cooperation at all. And while I’m on the subject, I bought these boots three days ago and they squeak, see for yourself, there’s nothing to be done with them, I mean, what can I grease them with?

LOPAKHINGive it a rest, you’re getting on my nerves.

YEPIKHODOVEvery day there’s something, some misfortune. But do I complain? I do not. I’m used to it. Keep smiling, that’s me.

Dunyasha enters, and gives Lopakhin the kvass.

YEPIKHODOVI’ll be off then.

He stumbles into a chair, which falls over.

YEPIKHODOV (cont.)There, you see! (triumphant) See what I mean? What a circumstancive situation if I say so myself. It’s uncanny.

Yepikhodov goes out.

DUNYASHAShall I tell you something?—he’s proposed to me, Yepikhodov has!

LOPAKHINHas he!

DUNYASHAI don’t know what to think. He’s normally the quiet type but now and again when he gets to talking he doesn’t make a lot of sense. He talks very nice and you can tell he means it but you can’t understand what he’s on about. I even quite like him, I think. He’s mad about me! But he’s an unlucky sort of person, things keep happening to him. The servants call him Catastrophe Corner.

LOPAKHIN (listening)I think they’re coming.

DUNYASHAThey’re here! What’s the matter with me? I’m shivering.

LOPAKHINYes, that’s them. We should go and meet them. I wonder if she’ll recognize me, it’s been five years. . . .

DUNYASHA (agitated)I’m going to faint away!—I am, I’m going to faint!

Two carriages can be heard drawing up to the house. Lopakhin and Dunyasha hurry out. The stage is empty. Noises off. FIRS, who has been to meet the train, hurriedly crosses the stage, leaning on a stick. He is wearing ancient livery and a top hat. He is muttering inaudibly.