THERE’S news, lassies, news,
Gude news I’ve to tell!
There’s a boatfu’ o’ lads
Come to our town to sell.

Chorus. — The wean wants a cradle, 5
And the cradle wants a cod:
I’ll no gang to my bed,
Until I get a nod.

Father, quo’ she, Mither, quo she,
Do what you can, 10
I’ll no gang to my bed,
Until I get a man.
The wean, &c.

I hae as gude a craft rig
As made o’yird and stane; 15
And waly fa’ the ley-crap,
For I maun till’d again.
The wean, &c.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

544.

Crowdie ever mair (Song)

O THAT I had ne’er been married,
I wad never had nae care,
Now I’ve gotten wife an’ weans,
An’ they cry “Crowdie” evermair.

Chorus. — Ance crowdie, twice crowdie, 5
Three times crowdie in a day
Gin ye crowdie ony mair,
Ye’ll crowdie a’ my meal away.

Waefu’ Want and Hunger fley me,
Glowrin’ by the hallan en’; 10
Sair I fecht them at the door,
But aye I’m eerie they come ben.
Ance crowdie, &c.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

545.

Mally’s meek, Mally’s sweet (Song)

Chorus — Mally’s meek, Mally’s sweet,
Mally’s modest and discreet;
Mally’s rare, Mally’s fair,
Mally’s every way complete.

AS I was walking up the street, 5
A barefit maid I chanc’d to meet;
But O the road was very hard
For that fair maiden’s tender feet.
Mally’s meek, &c.

It were mair meet that those fine feet 10
Were weel laced up in silken shoon;
An’ ‘twere more fit that she should sit
Within yon chariot gilt aboon,
Mally’s meek, &c.

Her yellow hair, beyond compare, 15
Comes trinklin down her swan-like neck,
And her two eyes, like stars in skies,
Would keep a sinking ship frae wreck,
Mally’s meek, &c.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

546.

Jockie’s taen the parting Kiss (Song)

Air— “Bonie lass tak a man.”

JOCKEY’S taen the parting kiss,
O’er the mountains he is gane,
And with him is a’ my bliss,
Nought but griefs with me remain,
Spare my Love, ye winds that blaw, 5
Plashy sleets and beating rain!
Spare my Love, thou feath’ry snaw,
Drifting o’er the frozen plain!

When the shades of evening creep
O’er the day’s fair, gladsome e’e, 10
Sound and safely may he sleep,
Sweetly blythe his waukening be.
He will think on her he loves,
Fondly he’ll repeat her name;
For where’er he distant roves, 15
Jockey’s heart is still the same.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

547.

Verses to Collector Mitchell

FRIEND of the Poet, tried and leal,
Wha, wanting thee, might beg or steal;
Alake, alake, the meikle deil
      Wi’ a’ his witches
Are at it skelpin jig and reel,   5
      In my poor pouches?

I modestly fu’ fain wad hint it,
That One-pound-one, I sairly want it;
If wi’ the hizzie down ye sent it,
It would be kind; 10
And while my heart wi’ life-blood dunted,
I’d bear’t in mind.

So may the Auld year gang out moanin’
To see the New come laden, groanin’,
Wi’ double plenty o’er the loanin’,   15
      To thee and thine:
Domestic peace and comforts crownin’
      The hale design.

POSTSCRIPT

Ye’ve heard this while how I’ve been lickit,
And by fell Death was nearly nickit;   20
Grim loon! he got me by the fecket,
      And sair me sheuk;
But by gude luck I lap a wicket,
      And turn’d a neuk.

But by that health, I’ve got a share o’t,   25
But by that life, I’m promis’d mair o’t,
My hale and wee, I’ll tak a care o’t,
      A tentier way;
Then farewell folly, hide and hair o’t,
      For ance and aye!   30

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

Final Poems (1796)

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

548.

The Dean of Faculty: A new Ballad

A NEW BALLAD
Tune— “The Dragon of Wantley.”

DIRE was the hate at old Harlaw,
That Scot to Scot did carry;
And dire the discord Langside saw
For beauteous, hapless Mary:
But Scot to Scot ne’er met so hot, 5
Or were more in fury seen, Sir,
Than ‘twixt Hal and Bob for the famous job,
Who should be the Faculty’s Dean, Sir.

This Hal for genius, wit and lore,
Among the first was number’d; 10
But pious Bob, ‘mid learning’s store,
Commandment the tenth remember’d:
Yet simple Bob the victory got,
And wan his heart’s desire,
Which shews that heaven can boil the pot, 15
Tho’ the devil piss in the fire.

Squire Hal, besides, had in this case
Pretensions rather brassy;
For talents, to deserve a place,
Are qualifications saucy. 20
So their worships of the Faculty,
Quite sick of merit’s rudeness,
Chose one who should owe it all, d’ye see,
To their gratis grace and goodness.

As once on Pisgah purg’d was the sight 25
Of a son of Circumcision,
So may be, on this Pisgah height,
Bob’s purblind mental vision —
Nay, Bobby’s mouth may be opened yet,
Till for eloquence you hail him, 30
And swear that he has the angel met
That met the ass of Balaam.

In your heretic sins may you live and die,
Ye heretic Eight-and-Tairty!
But accept, ye sublime Majority, 35
My congratulations hearty.
With your honours, as with a certain king,
In your servants this is striking,
The more incapacity they bring,
The more they’re to your liking. 40

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

549.

Epistle to Colonel de Peyster

MY honor’d Colonel, deep I feel
Your interest in the Poet’s weal;
Ah! now sma’ heart hae I to speel
              The steep Parnassus,
Surrounded thus by bolus pill,   5
              And potion glasses.

O what a canty world were it,
Would pain and care and sickness spare it;
And Fortune favour worth and merit
As they deserve; 10
And aye rowth o’ roast-beef and claret,
Syne, wha wad starve?

Dame Life, tho’ fiction out may trick her,
And in paste gems and frippery deck her;
Oh! flickering, feeble, and unsicker   15
              I’ve found her still,
Aye wavering like the willow-wicker,
              ‘Tween good and ill.

Then that curst carmagnole, auld Satan,
Watches like baudrons by a ratton   20
Our sinfu’ saul to get a claut on,
              Wi’felon ire;
Syne, whip! his tail ye’ll ne’er cast saut on,
              He’s aff like fire.

Ah Nick! ah Nick! it is na fair,   25
First showing us the tempting ware,
Bright wines, and bonie lasses rare,
              To put us daft
Syne weave, unseen, thy spider snare
              O hell’s damned waft.   30

Poor Man, the flie, aft bizzes by,
And aft, as chance he comes thee nigh,
Thy damn’d auld elbow yeuks wi’joy
              And hellish pleasure!
Already in thy fancy’s eye,   35
              Thy sicker treasure.

Soon, heels o’er gowdie, in he gangs,
And, like a sheep-head on a tangs,
Thy girning laugh enjoys his pangs,
And murdering wrestle, 40
As, dangling in the wind, he hangs,
A gibbet’s tassel.

But lest you think I am uncivil
To plague you with this draunting drivel,
Abjuring a’ intentions evil,   45
              I quat my pen,
The Lord preserve us frae the devil!
              Amen! Amen!

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

550.

A Lass wi’ a Tocher (Song)

Tune— “Ballinamona Ora.”

AWA’ wi’ your witchcraft o’ Beauty’s alarms,
The slender bit Beauty you grasp in your arms,
O, gie me the lass that has acres o’ charms,
O, gie me the lass wi’ the weel-stockit farms.

Chorus. — Then hey, for a lass wi’ a tocher, 5
Then hey, for a lass wi’ a tocher;
Then hey, for a lass wi’ a tocher;
The nice yellow guineas for me.

Your Beauty’s a flower in the morning that blows,
And withers the faster, the faster it grows: 10
But the rapturous charm o’ the bonie green knowes,
Ilk spring they’re new deckit wi’ bonie white yowes.
Then hey, for a lass, &c.

And e’en when this Beauty your bosom hath blest
The brightest o’ Beauty may cloy when possess’d; 15
But the sweet, yellow darlings wi’ Geordie impress’d,
The langer ye hae them, the mair they’re carest.
Then hey, for a lass, &c.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

551.

Ballad on Mr. Heron’s Election — No. 4

The Trogger.
Tune— “Buy Broom Besoms.”

WHA will buy my troggin, fine election ware,
Broken trade o’ Broughton, a’ in high repair?

Chorus. — Buy braw troggin frae the banks o’ Dee;
Wha wants troggin let him come to me.

There’s a noble Earl’s fame and high renown, 5
For an auld sang — it’s thought the gudes were stown —
Buy braw troggin, &c.

Here’s the worth o’ Broughton in a needle’s e’e;
Here’s a reputation tint by Balmaghie.
Buy braw troggin, &c. 10

Here’s its stuff and lining, Cardoness’ head,
Fine for a soger, a’ the wale o’ lead.
Buy braw troggin, &c.

Here’s a little wadset, Buittle’s scrap o’ truth,
Pawn’d in a gin-shop, quenching holy drouth. 15
Buy braw troggin, &c.

Here’s an honest conscience might a prince adorn;
Frae the downs o’ Tinwald, so was never worn.
Buy braw troggin, &c.

Here’s armorial bearings frae the manse o’ Urr; 20
The crest, a sour crab-apple, rotten at the core.
Buy braw troggin, &c.

Here’s the worth and wisdom Collieston can boast;
By a thievish midge they had been nearly lost.
Buy braw troggin, &c. 25

Here is Satan’s picture, like a bizzard gled,
Pouncing poor Redcastle, sprawlin’ like a taed.
Buy braw troggin, &c.

Here’s the font where Douglas stane and mortar names;
Lately used at Caily christening Murray’s crimes. 30
Buy braw troggin, &c.

Here is Murray’s fragments o’ the ten commands;
Gifted by black Jock to get them aff his hands.
Buy braw troggin, &c.

Saw ye e’er sic troggin? if to buy ye’re slack, 35
Hornie’s turnin chapman — he’ll buy a’ the pack.
Buy braw troggin, &c.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

552.

Complimentary versicles to Jessie Lewars

THE TOAST

FILL me with the rosy wine,
Call a toast, a toast divine:
Giveth me Poet’s darling flame,
Lovely Jessie be her name;
Then thou mayest freely boast, 5
Thou hast given a peerless toast.

THE MENAGERIE

Talk not to me of savages,
From Afric’s burning sun;
No savage e’er could rend my heart,
As Jessie, thou hast done: 10
But Jessie’s lovely hand in mine,
A mutual faith to plight,
Not even to view the heavenly choir,
Would be so blest a sight.

JESSIE’S ILLNESS

Say, sages, what’s the charm on earth 15
Can turn Death’s dart aside!
It is not purity and worth,
Else Jessie had not died.

ON HER RECOVERY

But rarely seen since Nature’s birth,
The natives of the sky; 20
Yet still one seraph’s left on earth,
For Jessie did not die.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

553.

O lay thy loof in mine, lass (Song)

Chorus — O lay thy loof in mine, lass,
In mine, lass, in mine, lass;
And swear on thy white hand, lass,
That thou wilt be my ain.

A SLAVE to Love’s unbounded sway, 5
He aft has wrought me meikle wae;
But now he is my deadly fae,
Unless thou be my ain.
O lay thy loof, &c.

There’s mony a lass has broke my rest, 10
That for a blink I hae lo’ed best;
But thou art Queen within my breast,
For ever to remain.
O lay thy loof, &c.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

554.

A Health to ane I loe dear (Song)

Chorus — Here’s a health to ane I loe dear,
Here’s a health to ane I loe dear;
Thou art sweet as the smile when fond lovers meet,
And soft as their parting tear — Jessy.

ALTHO’ thou maun never be mine, 5
Altho’ even hope is denied;
‘Tis sweeter for thee despairing,
Than ought in the world beside — Jessy.
Here’s a health, &c.

I mourn thro’ the gay, gaudy day, 10
As hopeless I muse on thy charms;
But welcome the dream o’ sweet slumber,
For then I am lockt in thine arms — Jessy.
Here’s a health, &c.

I guess by the dear angel smile, 15
I guess by the love-rolling e’e;
But why urge the tender confession,
‘Gainst Fortune’s fell, cruel decree? — Jessy.
Here’s a health, &c.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

555.

O wert thou in the cauld blast (Song)

O WERT thou in the cauld blast,
On yonder lea, on yonder lea,
My plaidie to the angry airt,
I’d shelter thee, I’d shelter thee;
Or did Misfortune’s bitter storms 5
Around thee blaw, around thee blaw,
Thy bield should be my bosom,
To share it a’, to share it a’.

Or were I in the wildest waste,
Sae black and bare, sae black and bare, 10
The desert were a Paradise,
If thou wert there, if thou wert there;
Or were I Monarch o’ the globe,
Wi’ thee to reign, wi’ thee to reign,
The brightest jewel in my Crown 15
Wad be my Queen, wad be my Queen.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

556.

Inscription to Jessie Lewars

On a copy of the Scots Musical Museum, in four volumes, presented to her by Burns.

THINE be the volumes, Jessy fair,
And with them take the Poet’s prayer,
That Fate may, in her fairest page,
With ev’ry kindliest, best presage
Of future bliss, enroll thy name: 5
With native worth and spotless fame,
And wakeful caution, still aware
Of ill — but chief, Man’s felon snare;

All blameless joys on earth we find,
And all the treasures of the mind — 10
These be thy guardian and reward;
So prays thy faithful friend, the Bard.

DUMFRIES, June 26, 1769.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

557.

Fairest Maid on Devon’s Banks (Song)

Tune— “Rothiemurchie.”

Chorus — Fairest maid on Devon banks,
Crystal Devon, winding Devon,
Wilt thou lay that frown aside,
And smile as thou wert wont to do?

FULL well thou know’st I love thee dear, 5
Couldst thou to malice lend an ear!
O did not Love exclaim: “Forbear,
Nor use a faithful lover so.”
Fairest maid, &c.

Then come, thou fairest of the fair, 10
Those wonted smiles, O let me share;
And by thy beauteous self I swear,
No love but thine my heart shall know.
Fairest maid, &c.

Chronological List of Poems

Alphabetical List of Poems

The Poems

Mauchline Parish Church stands on the site of St Michael’s Church, dating back to the thirteenth century. In June 1786, Burns appeared before the Session and admitted his responsibility for Jean Armour’s pregnancy. He had to appear in Church on three occasions to receive public rebuke. Two years later, they both appeared again before the Session and it was agreed that their marriage would be finally regularised. Burns made peace with the Church by giving a guinea note for the relief of the poor.