Nothing but these
trivial hints offered themselves. Lumped together, however, they had
the effect of defining the Shadow a little. I became more and more
aware of its very real existence. And, if I have made little mention
of Frances and my hostess in this connection, it is because they
contributed at first little or nothing towards the discovery of what
this story tries to tell. Our life was wholly external, normal, quiet,
and uneventful; conversation banal—Mrs. Franklyn’s conversation in
particular. They said nothing that suggested revelation.
Both were in this Shadow, and both knew that they were in it, but
neither betrayed by word or act a hint of interpretation. They talked
privately, no doubt, but of that I can report no details.
And so it was that, after ten days of a very commonplace visit, I
found myself looking straight into the face of a Strangeness that
defied capture at dose quarters. ‘There’s something here that never
happens,’ were the words that rose in my mind, ‘and that’s why none of
us can speak of it.’
And as I looked out of the window and watched the vulgar
blackbirds, with toes turned in, boring out their worms, I realised
sharply that even they, as indeed everything large and small in the
house and grounds, shared this strangeness, and were twisted out of
normal appearance because of it. Life, as expressed in the entire
place, was crumpled, dwarfed, emasculated. God’s meanings here were
crippled, His love of joy was stunted. Nothing in the garden danced or
sang.
There was hate in it. ‘The Shadow,’ my thought hurried on to
completion, ‘is a manifestation of hate; and hate is the Devil.’ And
then I sat back frightened in my chair, for I knew that I had partly
found the truth.
Leaving my books I went out into the open. The sky was overcast,
yet the day by no means gloomy, for a soft, diffused light oozed
through the clouds and turned all things warm and almost summery. But
I saw the grounds now in their nakedness because I understood. Hate
means strife, and the two together weave the robe that terror wears.
Having no so-called religious beliefs myself, nor belonging to any set
of dogmas called a creed, I could stand outside these feelings and
observe. Yet they soaked into me sufficiently for me to grasp
sympathetically what others, with more cabined souls (I flattered
myself), might feel. That picture in the dining-room stalked
everywhere, hid behind every tree, peered down upon me from the peaked
ugliness of the bourgeois towers, and left the impress of its powerful
hand upon every bed of flowers. ‘You must not do this, you must not do
that,’ went past me through the air. ‘You must not leave these narrow
paths,’ said the rigid iron railings of black. ‘You shall not walk
here,’ was written on the lawns. ‘Keep to the steps,’ ‘Don’t pick the
flowers; make no noise of laughter, singing, dancing,’
was placarded all over the rose-garden, and ‘Trespassers will
be—not prosecuted but— destroyed’ hung from the crest of monkey-tree
and holly. Guarding the ends of each artificial terrace stood gaunt,
implacable policemen, warders, gaolers. ‘Come with us,’ they chanted,
‘or be damned eternally.’
I remember feeling quite pleased with myself that I had discovered
this obvious explanation of the prison-feeling the place breathed out.
That the posthumous influence of heavy old Samuel Franklyn might be an
inadequate solution did not occur to me.
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