She has changed a bit—back to
her old natural self: she never mentions him. The place has changed
too in certain ways: it has more cheerfulness, I think. She has put it
in, this cheerfulness, spaded it in, if you know what I mean; but it
lies about uneasily and is not natural—quite. The organ is a beauty.
She must be very rich now, but she’s as gentle and sweet as ever. Do
you know, Bill, I think he must have frightened her into marrying him.
I get the impression she was afraid of him.’ This last sentence was
inked out, I but I read it through the scratching; the letters being
too big to hide. ‘He had an inflexible will beneath all that oily
kindness which passed for spiritual. He was a real personality, I
mean. I’m sure he’d have sent you and me cheerfully to the stake in
another century—for our own good. Isn’t it odd she never speaks of
him, even to me?’ This, again, was stroked through, though without the
intention to obliterate— merely because it was repetition, probably.
‘The only reminder of him in the house now is a big copy of the
presentation portrait that stands on the stairs of the Multitechnic
Institute at Peckham—you know—that life-size one with his fat hand
sprinkled with rings resting on a thick Bible and the other slipped
between the buttons of a tight frock-coat. It hangs in the dining-room
and rather dominates our meals. I wish Mabel would take it down. I
think she’d like to, if she dared. There’s not a single photograph of
him anywhere, even in her own room. Mrs. Marsh is here—you remember
her, his housekeeper, the wife of the man who got penal servitude for
killing a baby or something—you said she robbed him and justified her
stealing because the story of the unjust steward was in the Bible! How
we laughed over that! She’s just the same too, gliding about all over
the house and turning up when least expected.’
Other reminiscences filled the next two sides of the letter, and
ran, without a trace of punctuation, into instructions about a
Salamander stove for heating my workroom in the flat; these were
followed by things I was to tell the cook, and by requests for several
articles she had forgotten and would like sent after her, two of them
blouses, with descriptions so lengthy and.contradictory that I sighed
as I read them—’unless you come down soon, in which case perhaps you
wouldn’t mind bringing them; not the mauve one I wear in the evening
sometimes, but the pale blue one with lace round the collar and the
crinkly front. They’re in the cupboard—or the drawer, I’m not sure
which—of my bedroom. Ask Annie if you’re in doubt. Thanks most
awfully.
Send a telegram, remember, and we’ll meet you in the motor any
time. I don’t quite know if I shall stay the whole month—alone. It
all depends….’ And she closed the letter, the italicised words
increasing recklessly towards the end, with a repetition that Mabel
would love to have me ‘for myself,’ as also to have a ‘man in the
house’, and that I only had to telegraph the day and the train….
This letter, coming by the second post, interrupted me in a moment of
absorbing work, and, having read it through to make sure there was
nothing requiring instant attention, I threw it aside and went on with
my notes and reading. Within five minutes, however, it was back at me
again. That restless thing called ‘between the lines’ fluttered about
my mind. My interest in the Balkan States—political article that had
been ‘ordered’—faded. Somewhere, somehow I felt disquieted,
disturbed. At first I persisted in my work, forcing myself to
concentrate, but soon found that a layer of new impressions floated
between the article and my attention.
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