The Dunciad Read Online

And look of what force ancient Piety was to draw the Gods into the party of Æneas, that, and much stronger is modern Incense, to engage the Great in the party of Dulness.

Thus have we essayed to pourtray or shadow out this noble Imp of Fame. But now the impatient reader will be apt to say, if so many and various graces go to the making up of a Hero, what mortal shall suffice to bear this character? Ill hath he read, who sees not in every trace of this picture, that individual, ALL- PERSON, in whom these rare virtues and lucky circumstances have agreed to meet and concentre with the strongest lustre and fullest harmony.

The good Scriblerus indeed, nay the World itself might be imposed on in the late spurious editions, by I can't tell what Sham-hero, or Phantom: But it was not so easy to impose on HIM whom this egregious error most of all concerned. For no sooner had the fourth book laid open the high and swelling scene, but he recognized his own heroic Acts: And when he came to the words,

Soft on her lap her Laureat son reclines,

(though Laureat imply no more than one crowned with laurel, as befitteth any Associate or Consort in Empire) he ROAR'D (like a Lion) and VINDICATED HIS RIGHT OF FAME: Indeed not without cause, he being there represented as fast asleep; so unbeseeming the eye of Empire, which, like that of Providence, should never slumber. »Hah! (saith he) fast asleep it seems! that's a little too strong. Pert and dull at least you might have allowed me, but as seldom asleep as any fool10.« However, the injured Hero may comfort himself with this reflexion, that tho' it be sleep, yet it is not the sleep of death, but of immortality. Here he will11 live at least, tho' not awake; and in no worse condition than many an enchanted Warrior before him. The famous Durandarte, for instance, was, like him, cast into a long slumber by Merlin the British Bard and Necromancer: and his example, for submitting to it with so good a grace, might be of use to our Hero. For this disastrous knight being sorely pressed or driven to make his answer by several persons of quality, only replied with a sigh, Patience, and shuffle the cards12.

But now, as nothing in this world, no not the most sacred or perfect things either of Religion or Government, can escape the teeth or tongue of Envy, methinks I already hear these carpers objecting to the clear title of our Hero.

»It would never (say they) have been esteemed sufficient to make an Hero for the Iliad or Æneis, that Achilles was brave enough to overturn one Empire, or Æneas pious enough to raise another, had they not been Goddess-born, and Princes bred. What then did this Author mean, by erecting a Player instead of one of his Patrons, (a person ›never a hero even on the stage,13‹) to this dignity of Collegue in the empire of Dulness, and Atchiever of a work that neither old Omar, Attila, nor John of Leiden could entirely compass.«

To all this we have, as we conceive, a sufficient answer from the Roman historian, Fabrum esse suæ quemque fortunæ: Every man is the Smith of his own fortune. The politic Florentine Nicholas Machiavel goeth still farther, and affirms that a man needs but to believe himself a Hero to be one of the best. »Let him (saith he) but fancy himself capable of the highest things, and he will of course be able to atchieve them.« Laying this down as a principle, it will certainly and incontestably follow, that, if ever Hero was such a character, OURS is: For if ever man thought himself such, OURS doth. Hear how he constantly paragons himself, at one time to ALEXANDER the Great and CHARLES the XII. of SWEDEN, for the excess and delicacy of his Ambition14; to HENRY the IV. of FRANCE, for honest Policy15; to the first BRUTUS, for love of Liberty16; and to Sir ROBERT WALPOLE, for good Government while in power17: At another time, to the godlike SOCRATES, for his diversions and amusements18; to HORACE, MONTAIGNE, and Sir WILLIAM TEMPLE, for an elegant Vanity that makes them for ever read and admired19; to TWO Lord CHANCELLORS, for Law, from whom, when confederate against him at the bar, he carried away the prize of Eloquence20; and, to say all in a word, to the right reverend the Lord BISHOP of LONDON himself, in the art of writing pastoral letters21.

Nor did his Actions fall short of the sublimity of his Conceptions. In his early youth he met the Revolution at Nottingham22 face to face, at a time when his betters contented themselves with following her. But he shone in Courts as well as Camps: He was called up when the nation fell in labour of this Revolution23: and was a gossip at her christening, with the Bishop and the ladies24.

As to his Birth, it is true he pretendeth no relation either to Heathen God or Goddess; but, what is as good, he was descended from a Maker of both25. And that he did not pass himself on the world for a Hero, as well by birth as education, was his own fault: For, his lineage he bringeth into his life as an Anecdote, and is sensible he had it in his power to be thought no body's son at all26: And what is that but coming into the world a Hero?

There is in truth another objection of greater weight, namely. »That this Hero still existeth, and hath not yet finished his earthly course. For if Solon said well, that no man could be called happy till his death, surely much less can any one, till then, be pronounced a Hero: this species of men being far more subject than others to the caprices of Fortune and Humour.« But to this also we have an answer, that will be deemed (we hope) decisive. It cometh from himself, who, to cut this dispute short, hath solemnly protested that he will never change or amend.

With regard to his Vanity, he declareth that nothing shall ever part them. »Nature (saith he) hath amply supplied me in Vanity; a pleasure which neither the pertness of Wit, nor the gravity of Wisdom, will ever persuade me to part with27.« Our poet had charitably endeavoured to administer a cure to it: But he telleth us plainly, »My superiors perhaps may be mended by him; but for my part I own myself incorrigible. I look upon my Follies as the best part of my Fortune.28« And with good reason: We see to what they have brought him!

Secondly, as to Buffoonry, »Is it (saith he) a time of day for me to leave off these fooleries, and set up a new character? I can no more put off my Follies than my Skin; I have often tried, but they stick too close to me; nor am I sure my friends are displeased with them, for in this light I afford them frequent matter of mirth, etc. etc.29.« Having then so publickly declared himself incorrigible, he is become dead in law, (I mean the law Epopœian) and descendeth to the Poet as his property: who may take him, and deal with him, as if he had been dead as long as an old Egyptian hero; that is to say, embowel and embalm him for posterity.

Nothing therefore (we conceive) remains to hinder his own Prophecy of himself from taking immediate effect. A rare felicity! and what few prophets have had the satisfaction to see, alive! Nor can we conclude better than with that extraordinary one of his, which is conceived in these Oraculous words, MY DULNESS WILL FIND SOMEBODY TO DO IT RIGHT30.

Notes

1 Si un Heros Poëtique doit être un honnête homme. Bossu, du Poême Epique, lib. v. ch. 5.

2 Dedication to the Life of C.C.

3 Life, p. 2. octavo Ed.

4 Life, ibid.

5 Life, p.