She shed a flood of tears, and cried aloud, »I know not who you are: but, sure – worthy sir! – generous sir! – the distress of me and my poor dying child – Oh! if the widow's prayers – if the orphan's tears of gratitude can ought avail – gracious Providence! – Blessings! shower down eternal blessings –« Here she was interrupted by my uncle, who muttered in a voice still more and more discordant, »For Heaven's sake be quiet, madam – consider – the people of the house – 'sdeath! can't you –« All this time she was struggling to throw herself on her knees, while he seizing her by the wrists, endeavoured to seat her upon the settee, saying, »Pr'ythee – good now – hold your tongue –« At that instant, who should burst into the room but our aunt Tabby! of all antiquated maidens the most diabolically capricious – Ever prying into other people's affairs, she had seen the woman enter, and followed her to the door, where she stood listening, but probably could hear nothing distinctly, except my uncle's last exclamation; at which she bounced into the parlour in a violent rage, that dyed the tip of her nose of a purple hue, – »Fy upon you, Matt! (cried she) what doings are these, to disgrace your own character, and disparage your family?« – Then, snatching the bank-note out of the stranger's hand, she went on – »How now, twenty pounds! – here is temptation with a witness! – Good-woman, go about your business – Brother, brother, I know not which most to admire; your concupissins, or your extravagance! –« »Good God, (exclaimed the poor woman) shall a worthy gentleman's character suffer for an action, that does honour to humanity?« By this time, uncle's indignation was effectually roused. His face grew pale, his teeth chattered, and his eyes flashed – »Sister, (cried he, in a voice like thunder) I vow to God, your impertinence is exceedingly provoking.« With these words, he took her by the hand, and, opening the door of communication, thrust her into the chamber where I stood, so affected by the scene, that the tears ran down my cheeks. Observing these marks of emotion, »I don't wonder (said she) to see you concerned at the back-slidings of so near a relation; a man of his years and infirmities: These are fine doings, truly – This is a rare example, set by a guardian, for the benefit of his pupils – Monstrous! incongrous! sophistical!« – I thought it was but an act of justice to set her to rights; and therefore explained the mystery – But she would not be undeceived. »What! (said she) would you go for to offer, for to arguefy me out of my senses? Did'n't I hear him whispering to her to hold her tongue? Did'n't I see her in tears? Did'n't I see him struggling to throw her upon the couch? O filthy! hideous! abominable! Child, child, talk not to me of charity. – Who gives twenty pounds in charity? – But you are a stripling – You know nothing of the world – Besides, charity begins at home – Twenty pounds would buy me a complete suit of flowered silk, trimmings and all –« In short, I quitted the room, my contempt for her, and my respect for her brother, being increased in the same proportion. I have since been informed, that the person, whom my uncle so generously relieved, is the widow of an ensign, who has nothing to depend upon but the pension of fifteen pounds a year. The people of the Well-house give her an excellent character. She lodges in a garret, and works very hard at plain-work, to support her daughter, who is dying of a consumption. I must own, to my shame, I feel a strong inclination to follow my uncle's example, in relieving this poor widow; but, betwixt friends, I am afraid of being detected in a weakness, that might entail the ridicule of the company upon,

Dear Phillips,

yours always,

J. MELFORD

 

Direct your next to me at Bath; and remember me to all our fellow-jesuits.

 

 

To Dr. Lewis

Hot Well, April 20

I understand your hint. There are mysteries in physick, as well as in religion; which we of the profane have no right to investigate – A man must not presume to use his reason, unless he has studied the categories, and can chop logic by mode and figure – Between friends, I think, every man of tolerable parts ought, at my time of day, to be both physician and lawyer, as far as his own constitution and property are concerned. For my own part, I have had an hospital these fourteen years within myself, and studied my own case with the most painful attention; consequently may be supposed to know something of the matter, although I have not taken regular courses of physiology et cetera et cetera. – In short, I have for some time been of opinion, (no offence, dear Doctor) that the sum of all your medical discoveries amounts to this, that the more you study the less you know. – I have read all that has been written on the Hot Wells, and what I can collect from the whole, is, that the water contains nothing but a little salt, and calcarious earth, mixed in such inconsiderable proportion, as can have very little, if any, effect on the animal oeconomy. This being the case, I think, the man deserves to be fitted with a cap and bells, who, for such a paltry advantage as this spring affords, sacrifices his precious time, which might be employed in taking more effectual remedies, and exposes himself to the dirt, the stench, the chilling blasts, and perpetual rains, that render this place to me intolerable. If these waters, from a small degree of astringency, are of some service in the diabetes, diarrhæa, and night sweats, when the secretions are too much encreased, must not they do harm in the same proportion, where the humours are obstructed, as in the asthma, scurvy, gout, and dropsy? – Now we talk of the dropsy, here is a strange, fantastical oddity, one of your brethren, who harrangues every day in the Pump-room, as if he was hired to give lectures on all subjects whatsoever – I know not what to make of him – Sometimes he makes shrewd remarks; at other times, he talks like the greatest simpleton in nature – He has read a great deal; but without method or judgment, and digested nothing. He believes every thing he has read; especially if it has any thing of the marvelous in it; and his conversation is a surprizing hotch-potch of erudition and extravagance. – He told me t'other day, with great confidence, that my case was dropsical; or, as he called it, leucophlegmatic: A sure sign, that his want of experience is equal to his presumption; for, you know, there is nothing analogous to the dropsy in my disorder – I wish those impertinent fellows, with their ricketty understandings, would keep their advice for those that ask it – Dropsy, indeed! Sure I have not lived to the age of fifty-five, and had such experience of my own disorder, and consulted you and other eminent physicians, so often, and so long, to be undeceived by such a – But, without all doubt, the man is mad; and, therefore, what he says is of no consequence. I had, yesterday, a visit from Higgins; who came hither under the terror of your threats, and brought me in a present a brace of hares; which he owned he took in my ground; and I could not persuade the fellow that he did wrong, or that I would ever prosecute him for poaching – I must desire you will wink hard at the practices of this rascallion; otherwise I shall be plagued with his presents; which cost me more than they are worth. – If I could wonder at any thing Fitzowen does, I should be surprized at his assurance, in desiring you to solicit my vote for him, at the next election for the county: for him, who opposed me on the like occasion, with the most illiberal competition – You may tell him civilly, that I beg to be excused. Direct your next for me at Bath, whither I propose to remove to-morrow; not only on my own account, but for the sake of my niece, Liddy, who is like to relapse. The poor creature fell into a fit yesterday, while I was cheapening a pair of spectacles, with a Jew-pedlar. – I am afraid there is something still lurking in that little heart of her's; which I hope a change of objects will remove. Let me know what you think of this half-witted Doctor's impertinent, ridiculous, and absurd notion of my disorder – So far from being dropsical, I am as lank in the belly as a grey-hound; and, by measuring my ancle with a pack-thread, I find the swelling subsides every day – From such doctors, good Lord deliver us! – I have not yet taken any lodgings in Bath; because there we can be accommodated at a minute's warning, and I shall choose for myself – I need not say your directions for drinking and bathing will be agreeable to,

Dear Lewis,

yours ever,

MAT. BRAMBLE

 

P.S. I forgot to tell you, that my right ancle pits, a symptom, as I take it, of its being oedematous, not leucophlegmatic.

 

 

To Miss Letty Willis, at Gloucester

Hot Well, April 21

My Dear Letty,

I did not intend to trouble you again, till we should be settled at Bath; but having the occasion of Jarvis, I could not let it slip, especially as I have something extraordinary to communicate – O, my dear companion! What shall I tell you? for several days past there was a Jew-looking man, that plied at the Wells with a box of spectacles; and he always eyed me so earnestly, that I began to be very uneasy. At last, he came to our lodgings at Clifton, and lingered about the door, as if he wanted to speak to somebody – I was seized with an odd kind of fluttering, and begged Win to throw herself in his way: but the poor girl has weak nerves, and was afraid of his beard. My uncle, having occasion for new glasses, called him up stairs, and was trying a pair of spectacles, when the man, advancing to me, said, in a whisper – O gracious! what d'ye think he said? – »I am Wilson!« His features struck me that very moment – it was Wilson, sure enough! but so disguised, that it would have been impossible to know him, if my heart had not assisted in the discovery. I was so surprised, and so frightened, that I fainted away; but soon recovered; and found myself supported by him on the chair, while my uncle was running about the room, with the spectacles on his nose, calling for help.