0

3. For the Minister to Christen the Child

02. 10. 0

4. For a Supper, the Gentleman to send in the Wine

06. 00. 0

For my Fees, &c.

10. 10. 0

The Maid besides their own Maid only

00. 10. 0

53. 14. 0

 

I look'd upon all the three Bills, and smil'd, and told her, I did not see but that she was very reasonable in her Demands, and things consider'd, and I did not doubt but her Accommodations were good.

She told me, I should be a Judge of that, when I saw them: I told her, I was sorry to tell her that I fear'd I must be her lowest rated Customer, and perhaps Madam, said I, you will make me the less Wellcome upon that Account. No, not at all, said she, for where I have One of the third Sort, I have Two of the Second, and Four of the First, and I get as much by them in Proportion, as by any; but if you doubt my Care of you, I will allow any Friend you have to see if you are well waited on, or no.

Then she explain'd the Particulars of her Bill; in the first Place, Madam, said she, I would have you observe, that here is three Months keeping you at but 10s. a Week, I undertake to say you will not complain of my Table: I suppose, says she, you do not live Cheaper where you are now; No, indeed, said I, nor so Cheap, for I give six Shillings per Week for my Chamber, and find my own Dyet, which costs me a great deal more.

Then Madam, says she, if the Child should not live, as it sometimes happens, there is the Minister's Article saved; and if you have no Friends to come, you may save the Expence of a Supper; so that take those Articles out, Madam, says she, your Lying-In will not cost you above 5l. 3s. more than your ordinary Charge of Living.

This was the most reasonable thing that I ever heard of; so I smil'd, and told her I would come and be a Customer; but I told her also, that as I had two Months, and more to go, I might perhaps be obliged to stay longer with her than three Months, and desir'd to know if she would not be oblig'd to remove me before it was proper; No, she said, her House was large, and besides, she never put any Body to remove, that had Lain-In, 'till they were willing to go; and if she had more Ladies offer'd, she was not so ill belov'd among her Neighbours, but she could provide Accommodation for Twenty, if there was Occasion.

I found she was an eminent Lady in her way, and in short, I agreed to put my self into her Hands: She then talk'd of other things, look'd about into my Accommodations, where I was, found fault with my wanting Attendance, and Conveniences, and that I should not be us'd so at her House: I told her, I was shy of speaking, for the Woman of the House look'd stranger, or at least I thought so, since I had been Ill, because I was with Child; and I was afraid she would put some Affront or other upon me, supposing that I had been able to give but a slight Account of my self.

O dear, says she, her Ladyship is no stranger to these things; she has try'd to entertain Ladies in your Condition, but could not secure the Parish; and besides, such a nice Lady as you take her to be; however, since you are agoing you shall not meddle with her, but I'll see you are a little better look'd after while you are here, and it shall not cost you the more neither.

I did not understand her: however, I thank'd her, so we parted; the next Morning she sent me a Chicken roasted and hot, and a Bottle of Sherry, and ordered the Maid to tell me, that she was to wait on me every Day as long as I staid there.

This was surprizingly good and kind, and I accepted it very willingly; At Night she sent to me again, to know if I wanted any thing, and to order the Maid to come to her in the Morning for Dinner; the Maid had Orders to make me some Chocolate in the Morning before she came away, and at Noon she brought me the Sweetbread of a Breast of Veal whole, and a Dish of Soup for my Dinner, and after this manner she nurs'd me up at a distance, so that I was mightily well pleased, and quickly well, for indeed my Dejections before were the principal Part of my Illness.

I expected, as is usually the Case among such People, that the Servant she sent me would have been some impudent brazen Wench of Drury Lane Breeding, and I was very uneasy upon that Account, so I would not let her lye in the House the first Night, but had my Eyes about me as narrowly as if she had been a publick Thief.

My Gentlewoman guess'd presently what was the matter, and sent her back with a short Note, that I might depend upon the honesty of her Maid; that she would be answerable for her upon all Accounts; and that she took no Servants without very good Security: I was then perfectly easy, and indeed the Maid's Behaviour spoke for it self, for a modester, quieter, soberer Girl never came into any Body's Family, and I found her so afterwards.

As soon as I was well enough to go Abroad, I went with the Maid to see the House, and to see the Appartment I was to have; and every thing was so handsome and so clean, that, in short, I had nothing to say, but was wonderfully pleased with what I had met with, which considering the melancholly Circumstances I was in, was beyond what I looked for.

It might be expected that I should give some Account of the Nature of the wicked Practices of this Woman, in whose Hands I was now fallen; but it would be but too much Encouragement to the Vice, to let the World see what easy Measures were here taken to rid the Women's Burthen of a Child clandestinely gotten: This grave Matron had several Sorts of Practice, and this was one, that if a Child was born, tho' not in her House, for she had the Occasion to be call'd to many private Labours, she had People always ready, who for a Piece of Money would take the Child off their Hands, and off from the Hands of the Parish too; and those Children, as she said, were honestly taken Care of: What should become of them all, considering so many, as by her Account she was concern'd with, I cannot conceive.

I had many times Discourses upon that Subject with her; but she was full of this Argument, that she sav'd the Life of many an Innocent Lamb, as she call'd them, which would perhaps have been Murder'd; and of many a Woman, who made Desperate by the Misfortune, would otherwise be tempted to Destroy their Children: I granted her that this was true, and a very commendable thing, provided the poor Children fell into good Hands afterwards, and were not abus'd and neglected by the Nurses; she answered, that she always took care of that, and had no Nurses in her Business, but what were very Good People, and such as might be depended upon.

I could say nothing to the contrary, and so was oblig'd to say, Madam I do not question but you do your Part, but what those People do is the main Question, and she stop'd my Mouth again with saying she took the utmost care about it.

The only thing I found in all her Conversation on these Subjects, that gave me any distaste, was, that one time in Discoursing about my being so far gone with Child, she said something that look'd as if she could help me off with my Burthen sooner, if I was willing; or in English, that she could give me something to make me Miscarry, if I had a desire to put an end to my Troubles that way; but I soon let her see that I abhor'd the Thoughts of it; and to do her Justice, she put it off so cleverly, that I could not say she really intended it, or whether she only mentioned the Practice as a horrible thing; for she couch'd her Words so well, and took my Meaning so quickly, that she gave her Negative before I could explain my self.

To bring this part into as narrow a Compass as possible, I quited my Lodging at St. Jones's, and went to my new Governess, for so they call'd her in the House, and there I was indeed treated with so much Courtesy, so carefully look'd to, and every thing so well, that I was surpris'd at it, and could not at first see what Advantage my Governess made of it; but I found afterwards that she profess'd to make no Profit of the Lodger's Dyet, nor indeed cou'd she get much by it, but that her Profit lay in the other Articles of her Management, and she made enough that way, I assure you; for 'tis scarce credible what Practice she had, as well Abroad as at Home, and yet all upon the private Account, or in plain English, the Whoring Account.

While I was in her House, which was near four Months, she had no less than twelve Ladies of Pleasure brought to Bed within Doors, and I think she had two and thirty, or thereabouts under her Conduct without Doors, whereof one, as nice as she was with me, was lodg'd with my old Landlady at St. Jones's.

This was a strange Testimony of the growing Vice of the Age, and as bad as I had been my self, it shock'd my very Senses, I began to nauceate the place I was in, and above all, the Practice; and yet I must say that I never saw, or do I believe there was to be seen the least indecency in the House the whole time I was there.

Not a Man was ever seen to come up Stairs, except to Visit the Lying-In Ladies within their Month, nor then without the old Lady with them, who made it a piece of the Honour of her Management that no Man should touch a Woman, No, not his own Wife, within the Month; nor would she permit any Man to lye in the House upon any pretence whatever, No, not tho' it was with his own Wife, and her saying for it was, that she car'd not how many Children was born in her House, but she would have none got there if she could help it.

It might perhaps be carried farther than was needful, but it was an Error of the Right Hand if it was an Error, for by this she kept up the Reputation, such as it was, of her Business, and obtain'd this Character, that tho' she did take Care of the Women when they were debauch'd, yet she was not Instrumental to their being debauch'd at all, and yet it was a wicked Trade she drove too.

While I was here, and before I was brought to Bed, I receiv'd a Letter from my Trustee at the Bank full of kind obliging things, and earnestly pressing me to return to London: It was near a Fortnight old when it came to me, because it had first been sent into Lancashire, and then return'd to me; he concludes with telling me that he had obtain'd a Decree against his Wife, and that he would be ready to make good his Engagement to me, if I would accept of him, adding a great many Protestations of Kindness and Affection, such as he would have been far from offering if he had known the Circumstances I had been in, and which as it was I had been very far from deserving.

I return'd an Answer to this Letter, and dated it at Liverpool, but sent it by a Messenger, alledging, that it came in cover to a Friend in Town; I gave him Joy of his Deliverance, but rais'd some Scruples at the Lawfulness of his Marrying again, and told him, I suppos'd he would consider very seriously upon that Point before he resolv'd on it, the Consequence being too great for a Man of his Judgment to venture rashly upon; so concluded wishing him very well in whatever he resolv'd, without letting him into any thing of my own Mind, or giving any Answer to his Proposal of my coming to London to him, but mention'd at a distance my Intention to return the latter end of the Year, this being dated in April.

I was brought to Bed about the middle of May, and had another brave Boy, and my self in as good Condition as usual on such Occasions: My Governess did her part as a Midwife with the greatest Art and Dexterity imaginable, and far beyond all that ever I had had any Experience of before.

Her Care of me in my Travail, and after in my Lying-In, was such, that if she had been my own Mother it could not have been better; let none be encouraged in their loose Practices from this Dexterous Lady's Management, for she is gone to her place, and I dare say has left nothing behind her that can or will come up to it.

I think I had been brought to Bed about twenty Days when I receiv'd another Letter from my Friend at the Bank, with the surprising News that he had obtain'd a final Sentence of Divorce against his Wife, and had serv'd her with it on such a Day, and that he had such an Answer to give to all my Scruples about his Marrying again, as I could not expect, and as he had no Desire of; for that his Wife, who had been under some Remorse before for her usage of him, as soon as she heard that he had gain'd his Point, had very unhappily destroy'd herself that same Evening.

He express'd himself very handsomly as to his being concern'd at her Disaster, but clear'd himself of having any hand in it, and that he had only done himself Justice in a Case in which he was notoriously Injur'd and Abus'd: However, he said that he was extremely afflicted at it, and had no view of any Satisfaction left in this World, but only in the hope that I would come and relieve him by my Company; and then he press'd me violently indeed to give him some hopes, that I would at least come up to Town and let him see me, when he would farther enter into Discourse about it.

I was exceedingly surpriz'd at the News, and began now seriously to reflect on my Circumstances, and the inexpressible Misfortune it was to have a Child upon my Hands, and what to do in it I knew not; at last I open'd my Case at a distance to my Governess, I appear'd melancholy for several Days, and she lay at me continually to know what troubled me; I could not for my Life tell her that I had an offer of Marriage, after I had so often told her that I had a Husband, so that I really knew not what to say to her: I own'd I had something which very much troubl'd me, but at the same time told her I cou'd not speak of it to any one alive.

She continued importuning me several Days, but it was impossible, I told her, for me to commit the Secret to any Body: This, instead of being an Answer to her, encreas'd her Importunities; she urg'd her having been trusted with the greatest Secrets of this Nature, that it was her business to Conceal every thing, and that to Discover things of that Nature would be her Ruin; she ask'd me if ever I had found her Tatling of other People's Affairs, and how could I suspect her? she told me, to unfold myself to her, was telling it to no Body; that she was silent as Death, that it must be a very strange Case indeed, that she could not help me out of; but to conceal it, was to deprive myself of all possible Help, or means of Help, and to deprive her of the Opportunity of Serving me. In short, she had such a bewitching Eloquence, and so great a power of Perswasion, that there was no concealing any thing from her.

So I resolv'd to unbosom myself to her, I told her the History of my Lancashire Marriage, and how both of us had been Disappointed; how we came together, and how we parted; How he Discharg'd me, as far as lay in him, and gave me free Liberty to Marry again, protesting that if he knew it he would never Claim me, or Disturb, or Expose me; that I thought I was free, but was dreadfully afraid to venture, for fear of the Consequences that might follow in case of a Discovery.

Then I told her what a good Offer I had; show'd her my Friends Letters, inviting me to London, and with what Affection they were written, but blotted out the Name, and also the Story about the Disaster of his Wife, only that she was dead.

She fell a Laughing at my scruples about marrying, and told me the other was no Marriage, but a Cheat on both Sides; and that as we were parted by mutual Consent, the nature of the Contract was destroy'd, and the Obligation was mutually discharg'd; She had Arguments for this at the tip of her Tongue; and in short, reason'd me out of my Reason; not but that it was too by the help of my own Inclination.

But then came the great and main Difficulty, and that was the Child; this she told me must be remov'd, and that so, as that it should never be possible for any one to discover it: I knew there was no Marrying without concealing that I had had a Child, for he would soon have discover'd by the Age of it, that it was born, nay, and gotten too, since my Parly with him, and that would have destroy'd all the Affair.

But it touch'd my Heart so forcibly to think of Parting entirely with the Child, and for ought I knew, of having it murther'd, or starv'd by Neglect and Ill-usage, which was much the same, that I could not think of it, without Horror: I wish all those Women who consent to the disposing their Children out of the way, as it is call'd, for Decency sake, would consider that 'tis only a contriv'd Method for Murther; that is to say, killing their Children with safety.

It is manifest to all that understand any thing of Children, that we are born into the World helpless, and uncapable either to supply our own Wants, or so much as make them known; and that without help, we must Perish; and this help requires not only an assisting Hand, whether of the Mother, or some body else; but there are two Things necessary in that assisting Hand, that is, Care and Skill; without both which, half the Children that are born would die; nay, tho' they were not to be deny'd Food; and one half more of those that remain'd would be Cripples or Fools, loose their Limbs, and perhaps their Sense: I Question not, but that these are partly the Reasons why Affection was plac'd by Nature in the Hearts of Mothers to their Children; without which they would never be able to give themselves up, as 'tis necessary they should, to the Care and waking Pains needful to the Support of Children.

Since this Care is needful to the Life of Children, to neglect them is to Murther them; again, to give them up to be Manag'd by those People, who have none of that needful Affection, plac'd by Nature in them, is to Neglect them in the highest Degree; nay, in some it goes farther, and is in order to their being Lost; so that 'tis an intentional Murther, whether the Child lives or dies.

All those things represented themselves to my View, and that in the blackest and most frightful Form; and as I was very free with my Governess, who I had now learn'd to call Mother; I represented to her all the dark Thoughts which I had about it, and told her what distress I was in: She seem'd graver by much at this Part than at the other; but as she was harden'd in these things beyond all possibility of being touch'd with the Religious part, and the Scruples about the Murther; so she was equally impenetrable in that Part, which related to Affection: She ask'd me if she had not been Careful and Tender of me in my Lying-Inn, as if I had been her own Child? I told her I own'd she had. Well my Dear, says she, and when you are gone, what are you to me? and what would it be to me if you were to be Hang'd? Do you think there are not Women, who as it is their Trade, and they get their Bread by it, value themselves upon their being as careful of Children, as their own Mothers? Yes, yes, Child, says she, fear it not, How were we Nurs'd ourselves? Are you sure, you was Nurs'd up by your own Mother? and yet you look fat, and fair, Child, says the old Beldam, and with that she stroak'd me over the face; never be concern'd, Child, says she, going on in her drolling way: I have no Murtherers about me, I employ the best Nurses that can be had; and have as few Children miscarry under their Hands, as there would, if they were all Nurs'd by Mothers; we want neither Care nor Skill.

She touch'd me to the Quick, when she ask'd if I was sure that I was nurs'd by my own Mother; on the Contrary I was sure I was not; and I trembled and look'd Pale at the very Expression; sure, said I, to my self, this Creature cannot be a Witch, or have any Conversation with a Spirit that can inform her what I was, before I was able to know it my self; and I look'd at her as if I had been frighted; but reflecting that it could not be possible for her to know any Thing about me, that went off, and I began to be easy, but it was not presently.

She perceiv'd the Disorder I was in, but did not know the Meaning of it; so she run on in her wild Talk upon the Weakness, of my supposing that Children were murder'd because they were not all nurs'd by the Mother; and to perswade me that the Children she disposed of, were as well used as if the Mothers had the Nursing of them themselves.

It may be true Mother, says I, for ought I know, but my Doubts are very strongly grounded; come then, says she, lets hear some of them: Why first, says I, you give a Piece of Money to these People to take the Child off the Parents Hands, and to take Care of it as long as it lives; now we know Mother, said I, that those are poor People, and their Gain consists in being quit of the Charge as soon as they can; how can I doubt but that, as it is best for them to have the Child die, they are not over Solicitous about its Life.

This is all Vapours and Fancy, says she, I tell you their Credit depends upon the Child's Life, and they are as careful as any Mother of you all.

O Mother, says I, if I was but sure my little Baby would be carefully look'd to, and have Justice done it, I should be happy; but it is impossible I can be satisfy'd in that Point, unless I saw it, and to see it would be Ruin and Destruction, as my Case now stands, so what to do I know not.

A fine Story! says the Governess, you would see the Child, and you would not see the Child; you would be conceal'd and discover'd both together; these are things impossible, my Dear, and so you must e'en do as other conscientious Mothers have done before you; and be contented with things as they must be, tho' not as you wish them to be.

I understood what she meant by conscientious Mothers, she would have said conscientious Whores; but she was not willing to disoblige me, for really in this Case I was not a Whore, because legally Marry'd, the Force of my former Marriage excepted.

However, let me be what I would, I was not come up to that pitch of Hardness, common to the Profession; I mean to be unnatural, and regardless of the Safety of my Child, and I preserv'd this honest Affection so long, that I was upon the Point of giving up my Friend at the Bank, who lay so hard at me to come to him, and Marry him, that there was hardly any Room to deny him.

At last my old Governess came to me, with her usual Assurance. Come my Dear, says she, I have found out a way, how you shall be at a Certainty, that your Child shall be used well, and yet the People that take Care of it, shall never know you.

O Mother, say I, If you can do so, you will engage me to you for ever: Well, says she, are you willing to be at some small Annual Expence, more than what we usually give to the People we contract with? Ay, says I, with all my Heart, provided I may be concealed; as to that, says she, you shall be secure, For the Nurse shall never dare to Enquire about you, and you shall once or twice a Year go with me and see your Child, and see how 'tis used, and be satisfy'd that it is in good Hands, no Body knowing who you are.

Why, said I, do you think that when I come to see my Child, I shall be able to conceal my being the Mother of it, do you think that possible?

Well, says she, if you discover it, the Nurse shall be never the Wiser: She shall be forbid to take any Notice; if she offers it, she shall lose the Money, which you are to be suppos'd to give her, and the Child be taken from her too.

I was very well pleas'd with this; so the next Week a Country Woman was brought from Hertford, or thereabouts, who was to take the Child off our Hands entirely, for 10l. in Money; but if I would allow 5l. a Year more to her, she would be oblig'd to bring the Child to my Governesses House as often as we desir'd, or we should come down and look at it, and see how well she used it.

The Woman was a very wholesome-look'd likely Woman, a Cottager's Wife, but she had very good Cloaths and Linnen, and every thing well about her, and with a heavy Heart and many a Tear, I let her have my Child: I had been down at Hertford and look'd at her, and at her Dwelling, which I lik'd well enough; and I promised her great Things if she would be kind to the Child, so she knew at first Word that I was the Child's Mother; but she seem'd to be so much out of the Way; and to have no Room to enquire after me, that I thought I was safe enough, so in short, I consented to let her have the Child, and I gave her 10l., that is to say I gave it to my Governess, who gave it the poor Woman before my Face, she agreeing never to return the Child back to me, or to clame any Thing more for its Keeping, or Bringing up; only that I promised, if she took a great deal of Care of it, I would give her some thing more as often as I came to see it; so that I was not bound to pay the 5l. only that I promis'd my Governess I would do it: And thus my great Care was over, after a manner, which tho' it did not at all satisfy my Mind, yet was the most convenient for me, as my Affairs then stood, of any that could be thought of at that Time.

I then began to write to my Friend at the Bank, in a more kindly Style, and particularly about the Beginning of July I sent him a Letter, that I purpos'd to be in Town sometime in August; he return'd me an Answer in the most passionate Terms imaginable, and desir'd me to let him have timely Notice, and he would come and meet me two Days Journey: This puzzl'd me scurvily, and I did not know what Answer to make to it; once I was resolv'd to take the Stage Coach to West Chester, on Purpose only, to have the Satisfaction of coming back, that he might see me really come in the same Coach; for I had a jealous Thought, tho I had no Ground for it at all, least he should think I was not really in the Country.

I endeavour'd to Reason my self out of it, but it was in vain, the Impression lay so strong on my Mind, that it was not to be resisted; at last it came as an Addition to my new Design of going into the Country, that it would be an excellent Blind to my old Governess, and would cover entirely all my other Affairs, for she did not know in the least, whether my new Lover liv'd in London, or, in Lancashire, and when I told her my Resolution, she was fully perswaded it was in Lancashire.

Having taken my Measures for this Journey, I let her know it, and sent the Maid that tended me from the Beginning, to take a Place for me in the Coach; she would have had me let the Maid have waited on me down to the last Stage, and come up again in the Waggon, but I convinc'd her it would not be convenient; when I went away, she told me, she would enter into no Measures for Correspondence, for she saw evidently that my affection to my Child would cause me to write to her, and to Visit her too, when I came to Town again; I assur'd her it would, and so took my Leave, well satisfy'd, to have been freed from such a House, however good my Accommodations there had been.

I took the Place in the Coach not to its full Extent, but to a place called Stone, in Cheshire, where I not only had no manner of Business, but not the least Acquaintance with any Person in the Town: But I knew that with Money in the Pocket one is at Home any where; so I lodg'd there two or three Days, 'till watching my Opportunity, I found Room in another Stage Coach, and took Passage back again for London, sending a Letter to my Gentleman, that I should be such a certain Day at Stony-Stratford, where the Coachman told me he was to Lodge.

It happen'd to be a Chance Coach that I had taken up, which having been hired on Purpose to carry some Gentlemen to West-Chester, who were going for Ireland, was now returning, and did not tye it self up to exact Times or Places, as the Stages did, so that having been oblig'd to lye still on Sunday, he had Time to get himself ready to come out, which otherwise he could not have done.

His Warning was so short, that he could not reach Stony-Stratford time enough to be with me at Night, but he met me at a Place called Brickill the next Morning, just as we were coming into the Town.

I confess I was very glad to see him, for I thought my self a little disappointed over Night: He pleas'd me doubly too by the Figure he came in, for he brought a very handsome (Gentleman's) Coach, and four Horses, with a Servant to attend him.

He took me out of the Stage Coach immediately, which stop'd at an Inn in Brickill, and putting into the same Inn, he set up his own Coach, and bespoke his Dinner; I ask'd him what he meant by that, for I was for going forward with the Journey; he said, no, I had need of a little Rest upon the Road, and that was a very good sort of a House, tho' it was but a little Town; so we would go no farther that Night, what ever came of it.

I did not press him much, for since he had come so far to meet me, and put himself to so much Expence, it was but reasonable I should oblige him a little too, so I was easy as to that Point.

After Dinner we walk'd to see the Town, to see the Church, and to view the Fields, and the Country as is usual for Strangers to do, and our Landlord was our Guide in going to see the Church. I observ'd my Gentleman enquir'd pretty much about the Parson, and I took the hint immediately, that he certainly would propose to be married; and it follow'd presently, that in short, I would not refuse him; for to be plain with my Circumstances, I was in no condition now to say NO, I had no reason now to run any more such hazards.

But while these Thoughts run round in my Head, which was the work but of a few Moments, I observ'd my Landlord took him aside and whisper'd to him, tho' not very softly neither, for so much I over-heard, Sir, if you shall have occasion ––––– the rest I could not hear, but it seems it was to this purpose, Sir, if you shall have occasion for a Minister, I have a Friend a little way off that will serve you, and be as private as you please; my Gentleman answer'd loud enough for me to hear, very well, I believe I shall.

I was no sooner come back to the Inn, but he fell upon me with irresistible Words, that since he had had the good Fortune to meet me, and everything concurr'd, it would be hastening his Felicity if I would put an end to the matter just there; what do you mean says I, colouring a little, what, in an Inn, and on the Road! Bless us all, said I, how can you talk so! O I can talk so very well, says he, I came on purpose to talk so, and I'll show you that I did, and with that he pulls out a great Bundle of Papers; you fright me, said I, what are all these? don't be frighted, my Dear, said he, and kiss'd me, this was the first time that he had been so free to call me my Dear; then he repeated it, don't be frighted, you shall see what it is all, then he laid them all abroad; there was first the Deed or Sentence of Divorce from his Wife, and the full Evidence of her playing the Whore; then there was the Certificates of the Minister and Church-wardens of the Parish where she liv'd, proving that she was buried, and intimating the manner of her Death; the Copy of the Coroner's Warrant for a Jury to sit upon her, and the verdict of the Jury, who brought it in Non Compos Mentis; all this was to give me Satisfaction, tho' by the way, I was not so scrupulous, had he known all, but that I might have taken him without it: However, I look'd them all over as well as I cou'd, and told him, that this was all very clear indeed, but that he need not have brought them out with him, for it was time enough: Well, he said, it might be time enough for me, but no time but the present time was time enough for him.

There were other Papers roll'd up, and I ask'd him what they were? Why, Ay, says he, that's the Question I wanted to have you ask me; so he takes out a little Chagreen Case, and gives me out of it a very fine Diamond Ring; I could not refuse it, if I had a mind to do so, for he put it upon my Finger; so I only made him a Curtsy, then he takes out another Ring, and this, says he, is for another Occasion, and puts that into his Pocket: Well, but let me see it tho', says I, and smil'd, I guess what it is, I think you are Mad: I should have been Mad if I had done less, says he, and still he did not show it me, and I had a great mind to see it; so I says, well, but let me see it; hold, says he, first look here, then he took up the Roll again, and read it, and behold! it was a License for us to be married: Why, says I, are you Distracted? you were fully satisfy'd sure that I would yield at first Word, or resolv'd to take no denial; the last is certainly the Case, said he; but you may be mistaken, said I; no, no, says he, I must not be denied, I can't be denied, and with that he fell to kissing me so violently, I could not get rid of him.

There was a Bed in the Room, and we were walking to and again, eager in the Discourse, at last, he takes me by surprize in his Arms, and threw me on the Bed and himself with me, and holding me still fast in his Arms, but without the least offer of any Undecency, Courted me to Consent with such repeated Entreaties and Arguments; protesting his Affection, and vowing he would not let me go, till I had promised him, that at last I said, why you resolve not to be deny'd indeed, I think: No, no, says he, I must not be deny'd, I won't be deny'd, I can't be deny'd: Well, well, said I, and giving him a slight Kiss, then you shan't be deny'd, let me get up.

He was so Transported with my Consent, and the kind manner of it, that I began to think Once, he took it for a Marriage, and would not stay for the Form; but I wrong'd him, for he took me by the Hand, pull'd me up again, and then giving me two or three Kisses, thank'd me for my kind yielding to him; and was so overcome with the Satisfaction of it, that I saw Tears stand in his Eyes.

I turned from him, for it fill'd my Eyes with Tears too; and ask'd him leave to retire a little to my Chamber: If I had a Grain of true Repentance for an abominable Life of 24 Years past, it was then. Oh! what a felicity is it to Mankind, said I, to myself, that they cannot see into the Hearts of one another! How happy had it been, if I had been Wife to a Man of so much Honesty, and so much Affection from the Beginning?

Then it occurr'd to me what an abominable Creature am I! and how is this innocent Gentleman going to be abus'd by me! How little does he think, that having Divorc'd a Whore, he is throwing himself into the Arms of another! that he is going to Marry one that has lain with two Brothers, and has had three Children by her own Brother! one that was born in Newgate, whose Mother was a Whore, and is now a transported Thief; one that has lain with thirteen Men, and has had a Child since he saw me! poor Gentleman! said I, What he is going to do! After this reproaching myself was over, it followed thus: Well, if I must be his Wife, if it please God to give me Grace, I'll be a true Wife to him, and love him suitably to the strange Excess of his Passion for me; I will make him amends, by what he shall see, for the Abuses I put upon him, which he does not see.

He was impatient for my coming out of my Chamber, but finding me long, he went down Stairs, and talk'd with my Landlord about the Parson.

My Landlord, an Officious, tho' well-meaning Fellow, had sent away for the Clergy Man; and when my Gentleman began to speak to him, of sending for him, Sir, says he to him, my Friend is in the House; so without any more words he brought them together: When he came to the Minister, he ask'd him if he would venture to marry a couple of Strangers that were both willing? The Parson said that Mr. ––– had said something to him of it; that he hop'd it was no Clandestine Business; that he seem'd to be a grave Gentleman, and he suppos'd Madam was not a Girl, so that the consent of Friends should be wanted; to put you out of doubt of that, says my Gentleman, read this Paper, and out he pulls the License; I am satisfy'd, says the Minister, where is the Lady? you shall see her presently, says my Gentleman.

When he had said thus, he comes up stairs, and I was by that time come out of my Room, so he tells me the Minister was below, and that upon showing him the License, he was free to marry us with all his Heart, but he asks to see you, so he ask'd if I would let him come up.

'Tis time enough, said I, in the Morning, is it not? Why, said he, my Dear, he seem'd to scruple whether it was not some young Girl stolen from her Parents, and I assur'd him we were both of Age to command our own Consent; and that made him ask to see you; well, said I, do as you please; so up they brings the Parson, and a merry good sort of Gentleman he was: he had been told, it seems, that we had met there by accident, that I came in a Chester Coach, and my Gentleman in his own Coach to meet me: that we were to have met last Night at Stony-Stratford, but that he could not reach so far: Well, Sir, says the Parson, every ill turn has some good in it; the Disappointment, Sir, says he to my Gentleman, was yours, and the good Turn is mine, for if you had met at Stony-Stratford I had not had the Honour to Marry you: LANDLORD, have you a Common Prayer Book?

I started as if I had been frighted, Sir, says I, what do you mean, what to marry in an Inn, and at Night too! Madam, says the Minister, if you will have it be in the Church you shall; but I assure you your Marriage will be as firm here as in the Church; we are not tyed by the Canons to Marry no where but in the Church; and as for the time of Day, it does not at all weigh in this Case, our Princes are married in their Chambers, and at Eight or Ten a Clock at Night.

I was a great while before I could be perswaded, and pretended not to be willing at all to be married but in the Church; but it was all Grimace; so I seem'd at last to be prevail'd on, and my Landlord, and his Wife and Daughter, were call'd up: My Landlord was Father and Clark and all together, and we were married, and very Merry we were; tho' I confess the self-reproaches which I had upon me before, lay close to me, and extorted every now and then a deep sigh from me, which my Bridegroom took notice of, and endeavour'd to encourage me, thinking, poor Man, that I had some little hesitations at the Step I had taken so hastily.

We enjoy'd our selves that Evening compleatly, and yet all was kept so private in the Inn, that not a Servant in the House knew of it, for my Landlady and her Daughter waited on me, and would not let any of the Maids come up stairs. My Landlady's Daughter I call'd my Bride Maid; and sending for a Shopkeeper the next Morning, I gave the young Woman a good Suit of Knots, as good as the Town would afford, and finding it was a Lacemaking Town, I gave her Mother a Piece of Bone-lace for a Head.

One Reason that my Landlord was so close was, that he was unwilling the Minister of the Parish should hear of it; but for all that somebody heard of it, so as that we had the Bells set a Ringing the next Morning early, and the Musick, such as the Town would afford, under our Window; but my Landlord brazen'd it out, that we were marry'd before we came thither, only that being his former Guests, we would have our Wedding-Supper at his House.

We could not find in our Hearts to stir the next day; for, in short, having been disturb'd by the Bells in the Morning, and having perhaps not slept over much before, we were so sleepy afterwards that we lay in Bed till almost Twelve a Clock.

I beg'd my Landlady, that we might have no more Musick in the Town, nor ringing of Bells, and she manag'd it so well that we were very quiet: But an odd Passage interrupted all my Mirth for a good while; the great Room of the House look'd into the Street, and I had walk'd to the End of the Room, and it being a pleasant warm Day, I had open'd the Window, and was standing at it for some Air, when I saw three Gentlemen ride by, and go into an Inn just against us.

It was not to be conceal'd, nor did it leave me any Room to question it, but the second of the three, was my Lancashire Husband: I was frighted to Death, I never was in such a Consternation in my Life, I thought I should have sunk into the Ground, my Blood run chill in my Veins, and I trembl'd as if I had been in a cold fit of an Ague: I say, there was no room to question the Truth of it, I knew his Cloaths, I knew his Horse, and I knew his Face.

The first Reflection I made was, that my Husband was not by to see my Disorder, and that I was very glad of: The Gentlemen had not been long in the House but they came to the Window of their Room, as is usual; but my Window was shut you may be sure: However, I could not keep from peeping at them, and there I saw him again, heard him call to one of the Servants for something he wanted, and receiv'd all the terrifying Confirmations of its being the same Person, that were possible to be had.

My next concern was to know, what was his Business there; but that was impossible; sometimes my Imagination form'd an Idea of one frightful thing, sometimes of another; sometimes I thought he had discover'd me, and was come to upbraid me with Ingratitude and Breach of Honour; then I fancied he was coming up Stairs to insult me; and innumerable Thoughts came into my Head, of what was never in his Head, nor ever could be, unless the Devil had reveal'd it to him.

I remain'd in the Fright near two Hours, and scarce ever kept my Eye from the Window or Door of the Inn, where they were: At last hearing a great clutter in the Passage of their Inn, I run to the Window, and, to my great Satisfaction, I saw them all three go out again and travel on Westward; had they gone towards London, I should have been still in a Fright, least I should meet him again, and that he should know me; but he went the contrary way, and so I was eas'd of that Disorder.

We resolv'd to be going the next Day, but about six a Clock at Night we were alarm'd with a great Uproar in the Street, and People riding as if they had been out of their Wits, and what was it but a Hue and Cry after three Highway Men, that had rob'd two Coaches, and some Travellers near Dunstable Hill, and notice had, it seems, been given, that they had been seen at Brickill at such a House, meaning the House where those Gentlemen had been.

The House was immediately beset and search'd, but there were witnesses enough that the Gentlemen had been gone above three Hours; the Crowd having gathered about, we had the News presently; and I was heartily concern'd now another way: I presently told the People of the House, that I durst say those were honest Persons, for that I knew one of the Gentlemen to be a very honest Person, and of a good Estate in Lancashire.

The Constable, who came with the Hue and Cry, was immediately inform'd of this, and came over to me to be satisfy'd from my own Mouth, and I assur'd him that I saw the three Gentlemen as I was at the Window, that I saw them afterwards at the Windows of the Room they din'd in; that I saw them take Horse, and I would assure him I knew one of them to be such a Man, that he was a Gentleman of a very good Estate, and an undoubted Character in Lancashire, from whence I was just now upon my Journey.

The assurance with which I deliver'd this, gave the Mob Gentry a Check, and gave the Constable such Satisfaction, that he immediately sounded a Retreat, told his People these were not the Men, but that he had an account they were very honest Gentlemen, and so they went all back again; what the Truth of the matter was I knew not, but certain it was that the Coaches were rob'd at Dunstable Hill, and 560l.