0

53. 14. 0

 

I look'd upon all the three Bills, and smil'd, and told her, I did not see but that she was very reasonable in her Demands, and things consider'd, and I did not doubt but her Accommodations were good.

She told me, I should be a Judge of that, when I saw them: I told her, I was sorry to tell her that I fear'd I must be her lowest rated Customer, and perhaps Madam, said I, you will make me the less Wellcome upon that Account. No, not at all, said she, for where I have One of the third Sort, I have Two of the Second, and Four of the First, and I get as much by them in Proportion, as by any; but if you doubt my Care of you, I will allow any Friend you have to see if you are well waited on, or no.

Then she explain'd the Particulars of her Bill; in the first Place, Madam, said she, I would have you observe, that here is three Months keeping you at but 10s. a Week, I undertake to say you will not complain of my Table: I suppose, says she, you do not live Cheaper where you are now; No, indeed, said I, nor so Cheap, for I give six Shillings per Week for my Chamber, and find my own Dyet, which costs me a great deal more.

Then Madam, says she, if the Child should not live, as it sometimes happens, there is the Minister's Article saved; and if you have no Friends to come, you may save the Expence of a Supper; so that take those Articles out, Madam, says she, your Lying-In will not cost you above 5l. 3s. more than your ordinary Charge of Living.

This was the most reasonable thing that I ever heard of; so I smil'd, and told her I would come and be a Customer; but I told her also, that as I had two Months, and more to go, I might perhaps be obliged to stay longer with her than three Months, and desir'd to know if she would not be oblig'd to remove me before it was proper; No, she said, her House was large, and besides, she never put any Body to remove, that had Lain-In, 'till they were willing to go; and if she had more Ladies offer'd, she was not so ill belov'd among her Neighbours, but she could provide Accommodation for Twenty, if there was Occasion.

I found she was an eminent Lady in her way, and in short, I agreed to put my self into her Hands: She then talk'd of other things, look'd about into my Accommodations, where I was, found fault with my wanting Attendance, and Conveniences, and that I should not be us'd so at her House: I told her, I was shy of speaking, for the Woman of the House look'd stranger, or at least I thought so, since I had been Ill, because I was with Child; and I was afraid she would put some Affront or other upon me, supposing that I had been able to give but a slight Account of my self.

O dear, says she, her Ladyship is no stranger to these things; she has try'd to entertain Ladies in your Condition, but could not secure the Parish; and besides, such a nice Lady as you take her to be; however, since you are agoing you shall not meddle with her, but I'll see you are a little better look'd after while you are here, and it shall not cost you the more neither.

I did not understand her: however, I thank'd her, so we parted; the next Morning she sent me a Chicken roasted and hot, and a Bottle of Sherry, and ordered the Maid to tell me, that she was to wait on me every Day as long as I staid there.

This was surprizingly good and kind, and I accepted it very willingly; At Night she sent to me again, to know if I wanted any thing, and to order the Maid to come to her in the Morning for Dinner; the Maid had Orders to make me some Chocolate in the Morning before she came away, and at Noon she brought me the Sweetbread of a Breast of Veal whole, and a Dish of Soup for my Dinner, and after this manner she nurs'd me up at a distance, so that I was mightily well pleased, and quickly well, for indeed my Dejections before were the principal Part of my Illness.

I expected, as is usually the Case among such People, that the Servant she sent me would have been some impudent brazen Wench of Drury Lane Breeding, and I was very uneasy upon that Account, so I would not let her lye in the House the first Night, but had my Eyes about me as narrowly as if she had been a publick Thief.

My Gentlewoman guess'd presently what was the matter, and sent her back with a short Note, that I might depend upon the honesty of her Maid; that she would be answerable for her upon all Accounts; and that she took no Servants without very good Security: I was then perfectly easy, and indeed the Maid's Behaviour spoke for it self, for a modester, quieter, soberer Girl never came into any Body's Family, and I found her so afterwards.

As soon as I was well enough to go Abroad, I went with the Maid to see the House, and to see the Appartment I was to have; and every thing was so handsome and so clean, that, in short, I had nothing to say, but was wonderfully pleased with what I had met with, which considering the melancholly Circumstances I was in, was beyond what I looked for.

It might be expected that I should give some Account of the Nature of the wicked Practices of this Woman, in whose Hands I was now fallen; but it would be but too much Encouragement to the Vice, to let the World see what easy Measures were here taken to rid the Women's Burthen of a Child clandestinely gotten: This grave Matron had several Sorts of Practice, and this was one, that if a Child was born, tho' not in her House, for she had the Occasion to be call'd to many private Labours, she had People always ready, who for a Piece of Money would take the Child off their Hands, and off from the Hands of the Parish too; and those Children, as she said, were honestly taken Care of: What should become of them all, considering so many, as by her Account she was concern'd with, I cannot conceive.

I had many times Discourses upon that Subject with her; but she was full of this Argument, that she sav'd the Life of many an Innocent Lamb, as she call'd them, which would perhaps have been Murder'd; and of many a Woman, who made Desperate by the Misfortune, would otherwise be tempted to Destroy their Children: I granted her that this was true, and a very commendable thing, provided the poor Children fell into good Hands afterwards, and were not abus'd and neglected by the Nurses; she answered, that she always took care of that, and had no Nurses in her Business, but what were very Good People, and such as might be depended upon.

I could say nothing to the contrary, and so was oblig'd to say, Madam I do not question but you do your Part, but what those People do is the main Question, and she stop'd my Mouth again with saying she took the utmost care about it.

The only thing I found in all her Conversation on these Subjects, that gave me any distaste, was, that one time in Discoursing about my being so far gone with Child, she said something that look'd as if she could help me off with my Burthen sooner, if I was willing; or in English, that she could give me something to make me Miscarry, if I had a desire to put an end to my Troubles that way; but I soon let her see that I abhor'd the Thoughts of it; and to do her Justice, she put it off so cleverly, that I could not say she really intended it, or whether she only mentioned the Practice as a horrible thing; for she couch'd her Words so well, and took my Meaning so quickly, that she gave her Negative before I could explain my self.

To bring this part into as narrow a Compass as possible, I quited my Lodging at St. Jones's, and went to my new Governess, for so they call'd her in the House, and there I was indeed treated with so much Courtesy, so carefully look'd to, and every thing so well, that I was surpris'd at it, and could not at first see what Advantage my Governess made of it; but I found afterwards that she profess'd to make no Profit of the Lodger's Dyet, nor indeed cou'd she get much by it, but that her Profit lay in the other Articles of her Management, and she made enough that way, I assure you; for 'tis scarce credible what Practice she had, as well Abroad as at Home, and yet all upon the private Account, or in plain English, the Whoring Account.

While I was in her House, which was near four Months, she had no less than twelve Ladies of Pleasure brought to Bed within Doors, and I think she had two and thirty, or thereabouts under her Conduct without Doors, whereof one, as nice as she was with me, was lodg'd with my old Landlady at St. Jones's.

This was a strange Testimony of the growing Vice of the Age, and as bad as I had been my self, it shock'd my very Senses, I began to nauceate the place I was in, and above all, the Practice; and yet I must say that I never saw, or do I believe there was to be seen the least indecency in the House the whole time I was there.

Not a Man was ever seen to come up Stairs, except to Visit the Lying-In Ladies within their Month, nor then without the old Lady with them, who made it a piece of the Honour of her Management that no Man should touch a Woman, No, not his own Wife, within the Month; nor would she permit any Man to lye in the House upon any pretence whatever, No, not tho' it was with his own Wife, and her saying for it was, that she car'd not how many Children was born in her House, but she would have none got there if she could help it.

It might perhaps be carried farther than was needful, but it was an Error of the Right Hand if it was an Error, for by this she kept up the Reputation, such as it was, of her Business, and obtain'd this Character, that tho' she did take Care of the Women when they were debauch'd, yet she was not Instrumental to their being debauch'd at all, and yet it was a wicked Trade she drove too.

While I was here, and before I was brought to Bed, I receiv'd a Letter from my Trustee at the Bank full of kind obliging things, and earnestly pressing me to return to London: It was near a Fortnight old when it came to me, because it had first been sent into Lancashire, and then return'd to me; he concludes with telling me that he had obtain'd a Decree against his Wife, and that he would be ready to make good his Engagement to me, if I would accept of him, adding a great many Protestations of Kindness and Affection, such as he would have been far from offering if he had known the Circumstances I had been in, and which as it was I had been very far from deserving.

I return'd an Answer to this Letter, and dated it at Liverpool, but sent it by a Messenger, alledging, that it came in cover to a Friend in Town; I gave him Joy of his Deliverance, but rais'd some Scruples at the Lawfulness of his Marrying again, and told him, I suppos'd he would consider very seriously upon that Point before he resolv'd on it, the Consequence being too great for a Man of his Judgment to venture rashly upon; so concluded wishing him very well in whatever he resolv'd, without letting him into any thing of my own Mind, or giving any Answer to his Proposal of my coming to London to him, but mention'd at a distance my Intention to return the latter end of the Year, this being dated in April.

I was brought to Bed about the middle of May, and had another brave Boy, and my self in as good Condition as usual on such Occasions: My Governess did her part as a Midwife with the greatest Art and Dexterity imaginable, and far beyond all that ever I had had any Experience of before.

Her Care of me in my Travail, and after in my Lying-In, was such, that if she had been my own Mother it could not have been better; let none be encouraged in their loose Practices from this Dexterous Lady's Management, for she is gone to her place, and I dare say has left nothing behind her that can or will come up to it.

I think I had been brought to Bed about twenty Days when I receiv'd another Letter from my Friend at the Bank, with the surprising News that he had obtain'd a final Sentence of Divorce against his Wife, and had serv'd her with it on such a Day, and that he had such an Answer to give to all my Scruples about his Marrying again, as I could not expect, and as he had no Desire of; for that his Wife, who had been under some Remorse before for her usage of him, as soon as she heard that he had gain'd his Point, had very unhappily destroy'd herself that same Evening.

He express'd himself very handsomly as to his being concern'd at her Disaster, but clear'd himself of having any hand in it, and that he had only done himself Justice in a Case in which he was notoriously Injur'd and Abus'd: However, he said that he was extremely afflicted at it, and had no view of any Satisfaction left in this World, but only in the hope that I would come and relieve him by my Company; and then he press'd me violently indeed to give him some hopes, that I would at least come up to Town and let him see me, when he would farther enter into Discourse about it.

I was exceedingly surpriz'd at the News, and began now seriously to reflect on my Circumstances, and the inexpressible Misfortune it was to have a Child upon my Hands, and what to do in it I knew not; at last I open'd my Case at a distance to my Governess, I appear'd melancholy for several Days, and she lay at me continually to know what troubled me; I could not for my Life tell her that I had an offer of Marriage, after I had so often told her that I had a Husband, so that I really knew not what to say to her: I own'd I had something which very much troubl'd me, but at the same time told her I cou'd not speak of it to any one alive.

She continued importuning me several Days, but it was impossible, I told her, for me to commit the Secret to any Body: This, instead of being an Answer to her, encreas'd her Importunities; she urg'd her having been trusted with the greatest Secrets of this Nature, that it was her business to Conceal every thing, and that to Discover things of that Nature would be her Ruin; she ask'd me if ever I had found her Tatling of other People's Affairs, and how could I suspect her? she told me, to unfold myself to her, was telling it to no Body; that she was silent as Death, that it must be a very strange Case indeed, that she could not help me out of; but to conceal it, was to deprive myself of all possible Help, or means of Help, and to deprive her of the Opportunity of Serving me. In short, she had such a bewitching Eloquence, and so great a power of Perswasion, that there was no concealing any thing from her.

So I resolv'd to unbosom myself to her, I told her the History of my Lancashire Marriage, and how both of us had been Disappointed; how we came together, and how we parted; How he Discharg'd me, as far as lay in him, and gave me free Liberty to Marry again, protesting that if he knew it he would never Claim me, or Disturb, or Expose me; that I thought I was free, but was dreadfully afraid to venture, for fear of the Consequences that might follow in case of a Discovery.

Then I told her what a good Offer I had; show'd her my Friends Letters, inviting me to London, and with what Affection they were written, but blotted out the Name, and also the Story about the Disaster of his Wife, only that she was dead.

She fell a Laughing at my scruples about marrying, and told me the other was no Marriage, but a Cheat on both Sides; and that as we were parted by mutual Consent, the nature of the Contract was destroy'd, and the Obligation was mutually discharg'd; She had Arguments for this at the tip of her Tongue; and in short, reason'd me out of my Reason; not but that it was too by the help of my own Inclination.

But then came the great and main Difficulty, and that was the Child; this she told me must be remov'd, and that so, as that it should never be possible for any one to discover it: I knew there was no Marrying without concealing that I had had a Child, for he would soon have discover'd by the Age of it, that it was born, nay, and gotten too, since my Parly with him, and that would have destroy'd all the Affair.

But it touch'd my Heart so forcibly to think of Parting entirely with the Child, and for ought I knew, of having it murther'd, or starv'd by Neglect and Ill-usage, which was much the same, that I could not think of it, without Horror: I wish all those Women who consent to the disposing their Children out of the way, as it is call'd, for Decency sake, would consider that 'tis only a contriv'd Method for Murther; that is to say, killing their Children with safety.

It is manifest to all that understand any thing of Children, that we are born into the World helpless, and uncapable either to supply our own Wants, or so much as make them known; and that without help, we must Perish; and this help requires not only an assisting Hand, whether of the Mother, or some body else; but there are two Things necessary in that assisting Hand, that is, Care and Skill; without both which, half the Children that are born would die; nay, tho' they were not to be deny'd Food; and one half more of those that remain'd would be Cripples or Fools, loose their Limbs, and perhaps their Sense: I Question not, but that these are partly the Reasons why Affection was plac'd by Nature in the Hearts of Mothers to their Children; without which they would never be able to give themselves up, as 'tis necessary they should, to the Care and waking Pains needful to the Support of Children.

Since this Care is needful to the Life of Children, to neglect them is to Murther them; again, to give them up to be Manag'd by those People, who have none of that needful Affection, plac'd by Nature in them, is to Neglect them in the highest Degree; nay, in some it goes farther, and is in order to their being Lost; so that 'tis an intentional Murther, whether the Child lives or dies.

All those things represented themselves to my View, and that in the blackest and most frightful Form; and as I was very free with my Governess, who I had now learn'd to call Mother; I represented to her all the dark Thoughts which I had about it, and told her what distress I was in: She seem'd graver by much at this Part than at the other; but as she was harden'd in these things beyond all possibility of being touch'd with the Religious part, and the Scruples about the Murther; so she was equally impenetrable in that Part, which related to Affection: She ask'd me if she had not been Careful and Tender of me in my Lying-Inn, as if I had been her own Child? I told her I own'd she had. Well my Dear, says she, and when you are gone, what are you to me? and what would it be to me if you were to be Hang'd? Do you think there are not Women, who as it is their Trade, and they get their Bread by it, value themselves upon their being as careful of Children, as their own Mothers? Yes, yes, Child, says she, fear it not, How were we Nurs'd ourselves? Are you sure, you was Nurs'd up by your own Mother? and yet you look fat, and fair, Child, says the old Beldam, and with that she stroak'd me over the face; never be concern'd, Child, says she, going on in her drolling way: I have no Murtherers about me, I employ the best Nurses that can be had; and have as few Children miscarry under their Hands, as there would, if they were all Nurs'd by Mothers; we want neither Care nor Skill.

She touch'd me to the Quick, when she ask'd if I was sure that I was nurs'd by my own Mother; on the Contrary I was sure I was not; and I trembled and look'd Pale at the very Expression; sure, said I, to my self, this Creature cannot be a Witch, or have any Conversation with a Spirit that can inform her what I was, before I was able to know it my self; and I look'd at her as if I had been frighted; but reflecting that it could not be possible for her to know any Thing about me, that went off, and I began to be easy, but it was not presently.

She perceiv'd the Disorder I was in, but did not know the Meaning of it; so she run on in her wild Talk upon the Weakness, of my supposing that Children were murder'd because they were not all nurs'd by the Mother; and to perswade me that the Children she disposed of, were as well used as if the Mothers had the Nursing of them themselves.

It may be true Mother, says I, for ought I know, but my Doubts are very strongly grounded; come then, says she, lets hear some of them: Why first, says I, you give a Piece of Money to these People to take the Child off the Parents Hands, and to take Care of it as long as it lives; now we know Mother, said I, that those are poor People, and their Gain consists in being quit of the Charge as soon as they can; how can I doubt but that, as it is best for them to have the Child die, they are not over Solicitous about its Life.

This is all Vapours and Fancy, says she, I tell you their Credit depends upon the Child's Life, and they are as careful as any Mother of you all.

O Mother, says I, if I was but sure my little Baby would be carefully look'd to, and have Justice done it, I should be happy; but it is impossible I can be satisfy'd in that Point, unless I saw it, and to see it would be Ruin and Destruction, as my Case now stands, so what to do I know not.

A fine Story! says the Governess, you would see the Child, and you would not see the Child; you would be conceal'd and discover'd both together; these are things impossible, my Dear, and so you must e'en do as other conscientious Mothers have done before you; and be contented with things as they must be, tho' not as you wish them to be.

I understood what she meant by conscientious Mothers, she would have said conscientious Whores; but she was not willing to disoblige me, for really in this Case I was not a Whore, because legally Marry'd, the Force of my former Marriage excepted.

However, let me be what I would, I was not come up to that pitch of Hardness, common to the Profession; I mean to be unnatural, and regardless of the Safety of my Child, and I preserv'd this honest Affection so long, that I was upon the Point of giving up my Friend at the Bank, who lay so hard at me to come to him, and Marry him, that there was hardly any Room to deny him.

At last my old Governess came to me, with her usual Assurance. Come my Dear, says she, I have found out a way, how you shall be at a Certainty, that your Child shall be used well, and yet the People that take Care of it, shall never know you.

O Mother, say I, If you can do so, you will engage me to you for ever: Well, says she, are you willing to be at some small Annual Expence, more than what we usually give to the People we contract with? Ay, says I, with all my Heart, provided I may be concealed; as to that, says she, you shall be secure, For the Nurse shall never dare to Enquire about you, and you shall once or twice a Year go with me and see your Child, and see how 'tis used, and be satisfy'd that it is in good Hands, no Body knowing who you are.

Why, said I, do you think that when I come to see my Child, I shall be able to conceal my being the Mother of it, do you think that possible?

Well, says she, if you discover it, the Nurse shall be never the Wiser: She shall be forbid to take any Notice; if she offers it, she shall lose the Money, which you are to be suppos'd to give her, and the Child be taken from her too.

I was very well pleas'd with this; so the next Week a Country Woman was brought from Hertford, or thereabouts, who was to take the Child off our Hands entirely, for 10l. in Money; but if I would allow 5l. a Year more to her, she would be oblig'd to bring the Child to my Governesses House as often as we desir'd, or we should come down and look at it, and see how well she used it.

The Woman was a very wholesome-look'd likely Woman, a Cottager's Wife, but she had very good Cloaths and Linnen, and every thing well about her, and with a heavy Heart and many a Tear, I let her have my Child: I had been down at Hertford and look'd at her, and at her Dwelling, which I lik'd well enough; and I promised her great Things if she would be kind to the Child, so she knew at first Word that I was the Child's Mother; but she seem'd to be so much out of the Way; and to have no Room to enquire after me, that I thought I was safe enough, so in short, I consented to let her have the Child, and I gave her 10l., that is to say I gave it to my Governess, who gave it the poor Woman before my Face, she agreeing never to return the Child back to me, or to clame any Thing more for its Keeping, or Bringing up; only that I promised, if she took a great deal of Care of it, I would give her some thing more as often as I came to see it; so that I was not bound to pay the 5l. only that I promis'd my Governess I would do it: And thus my great Care was over, after a manner, which tho' it did not at all satisfy my Mind, yet was the most convenient for me, as my Affairs then stood, of any that could be thought of at that Time.

I then began to write to my Friend at the Bank, in a more kindly Style, and particularly about the Beginning of July I sent him a Letter, that I purpos'd to be in Town sometime in August; he return'd me an Answer in the most passionate Terms imaginable, and desir'd me to let him have timely Notice, and he would come and meet me two Days Journey: This puzzl'd me scurvily, and I did not know what Answer to make to it; once I was resolv'd to take the Stage Coach to West Chester, on Purpose only, to have the Satisfaction of coming back, that he might see me really come in the same Coach; for I had a jealous Thought, tho I had no Ground for it at all, least he should think I was not really in the Country.

I endeavour'd to Reason my self out of it, but it was in vain, the Impression lay so strong on my Mind, that it was not to be resisted; at last it came as an Addition to my new Design of going into the Country, that it would be an excellent Blind to my old Governess, and would cover entirely all my other Affairs, for she did not know in the least, whether my new Lover liv'd in London, or, in Lancashire, and when I told her my Resolution, she was fully perswaded it was in Lancashire.

Having taken my Measures for this Journey, I let her know it, and sent the Maid that tended me from the Beginning, to take a Place for me in the Coach; she would have had me let the Maid have waited on me down to the last Stage, and come up again in the Waggon, but I convinc'd her it would not be convenient; when I went away, she told me, she would enter into no Measures for Correspondence, for she saw evidently that my affection to my Child would cause me to write to her, and to Visit her too, when I came to Town again; I assur'd her it would, and so took my Leave, well satisfy'd, to have been freed from such a House, however good my Accommodations there had been.

I took the Place in the Coach not to its full Extent, but to a place called Stone, in Cheshire, where I not only had no manner of Business, but not the least Acquaintance with any Person in the Town: But I knew that with Money in the Pocket one is at Home any where; so I lodg'd there two or three Days, 'till watching my Opportunity, I found Room in another Stage Coach, and took Passage back again for London, sending a Letter to my Gentleman, that I should be such a certain Day at Stony-Stratford, where the Coachman told me he was to Lodge.

It happen'd to be a Chance Coach that I had taken up, which having been hired on Purpose to carry some Gentlemen to West-Chester, who were going for Ireland, was now returning, and did not tye it self up to exact Times or Places, as the Stages did, so that having been oblig'd to lye still on Sunday, he had Time to get himself ready to come out, which otherwise he could not have done.

His Warning was so short, that he could not reach Stony-Stratford time enough to be with me at Night, but he met me at a Place called Brickill the next Morning, just as we were coming into the Town.

I confess I was very glad to see him, for I thought my self a little disappointed over Night: He pleas'd me doubly too by the Figure he came in, for he brought a very handsome (Gentleman's) Coach, and four Horses, with a Servant to attend him.

He took me out of the Stage Coach immediately, which stop'd at an Inn in Brickill, and putting into the same Inn, he set up his own Coach, and bespoke his Dinner; I ask'd him what he meant by that, for I was for going forward with the Journey; he said, no, I had need of a little Rest upon the Road, and that was a very good sort of a House, tho' it was but a little Town; so we would go no farther that Night, what ever came of it.

I did not press him much, for since he had come so far to meet me, and put himself to so much Expence, it was but reasonable I should oblige him a little too, so I was easy as to that Point.

After Dinner we walk'd to see the Town, to see the Church, and to view the Fields, and the Country as is usual for Strangers to do, and our Landlord was our Guide in going to see the Church. I observ'd my Gentleman enquir'd pretty much about the Parson, and I took the hint immediately, that he certainly would propose to be married; and it follow'd presently, that in short, I would not refuse him; for to be plain with my Circumstances, I was in no condition now to say NO, I had no reason now to run any more such hazards.

But while these Thoughts run round in my Head, which was the work but of a few Moments, I observ'd my Landlord took him aside and whisper'd to him, tho' not very softly neither, for so much I over-heard, Sir, if you shall have occasion ––––– the rest I could not hear, but it seems it was to this purpose, Sir, if you shall have occasion for a Minister, I have a Friend a little way off that will serve you, and be as private as you please; my Gentleman answer'd loud enough for me to hear, very well, I believe I shall.

I was no sooner come back to the Inn, but he fell upon me with irresistible Words, that since he had had the good Fortune to meet me, and everything concurr'd, it would be hastening his Felicity if I would put an end to the matter just there; what do you mean says I, colouring a little, what, in an Inn, and on the Road! Bless us all, said I, how can you talk so! O I can talk so very well, says he, I came on purpose to talk so, and I'll show you that I did, and with that he pulls out a great Bundle of Papers; you fright me, said I, what are all these? don't be frighted, my Dear, said he, and kiss'd me, this was the first time that he had been so free to call me my Dear; then he repeated it, don't be frighted, you shall see what it is all, then he laid them all abroad; there was first the Deed or Sentence of Divorce from his Wife, and the full Evidence of her playing the Whore; then there was the Certificates of the Minister and Church-wardens of the Parish where she liv'd, proving that she was buried, and intimating the manner of her Death; the Copy of the Coroner's Warrant for a Jury to sit upon her, and the verdict of the Jury, who brought it in Non Compos Mentis; all this was to give me Satisfaction, tho' by the way, I was not so scrupulous, had he known all, but that I might have taken him without it: However, I look'd them all over as well as I cou'd, and told him, that this was all very clear indeed, but that he need not have brought them out with him, for it was time enough: Well, he said, it might be time enough for me, but no time but the present time was time enough for him.

There were other Papers roll'd up, and I ask'd him what they were? Why, Ay, says he, that's the Question I wanted to have you ask me; so he takes out a little Chagreen Case, and gives me out of it a very fine Diamond Ring; I could not refuse it, if I had a mind to do so, for he put it upon my Finger; so I only made him a Curtsy, then he takes out another Ring, and this, says he, is for another Occasion, and puts that into his Pocket: Well, but let me see it tho', says I, and smil'd, I guess what it is, I think you are Mad: I should have been Mad if I had done less, says he, and still he did not show it me, and I had a great mind to see it; so I says, well, but let me see it; hold, says he, first look here, then he took up the Roll again, and read it, and behold! it was a License for us to be married: Why, says I, are you Distracted? you were fully satisfy'd sure that I would yield at first Word, or resolv'd to take no denial; the last is certainly the Case, said he; but you may be mistaken, said I; no, no, says he, I must not be denied, I can't be denied, and with that he fell to kissing me so violently, I could not get rid of him.

There was a Bed in the Room, and we were walking to and again, eager in the Discourse, at last, he takes me by surprize in his Arms, and threw me on the Bed and himself with me, and holding me still fast in his Arms, but without the least offer of any Undecency, Courted me to Consent with such repeated Entreaties and Arguments; protesting his Affection, and vowing he would not let me go, till I had promised him, that at last I said, why you resolve not to be deny'd indeed, I think: No, no, says he, I must not be deny'd, I won't be deny'd, I can't be deny'd: Well, well, said I, and giving him a slight Kiss, then you shan't be deny'd, let me get up.

He was so Transported with my Consent, and the kind manner of it, that I began to think Once, he took it for a Marriage, and would not stay for the Form; but I wrong'd him, for he took me by the Hand, pull'd me up again, and then giving me two or three Kisses, thank'd me for my kind yielding to him; and was so overcome with the Satisfaction of it, that I saw Tears stand in his Eyes.

I turned from him, for it fill'd my Eyes with Tears too; and ask'd him leave to retire a little to my Chamber: If I had a Grain of true Repentance for an abominable Life of 24 Years past, it was then. Oh! what a felicity is it to Mankind, said I, to myself, that they cannot see into the Hearts of one another! How happy had it been, if I had been Wife to a Man of so much Honesty, and so much Affection from the Beginning?

Then it occurr'd to me what an abominable Creature am I! and how is this innocent Gentleman going to be abus'd by me! How little does he think, that having Divorc'd a Whore, he is throwing himself into the Arms of another! that he is going to Marry one that has lain with two Brothers, and has had three Children by her own Brother! one that was born in Newgate, whose Mother was a Whore, and is now a transported Thief; one that has lain with thirteen Men, and has had a Child since he saw me! poor Gentleman! said I, What he is going to do! After this reproaching myself was over, it followed thus: Well, if I must be his Wife, if it please God to give me Grace, I'll be a true Wife to him, and love him suitably to the strange Excess of his Passion for me; I will make him amends, by what he shall see, for the Abuses I put upon him, which he does not see.

He was impatient for my coming out of my Chamber, but finding me long, he went down Stairs, and talk'd with my Landlord about the Parson.

My Landlord, an Officious, tho' well-meaning Fellow, had sent away for the Clergy Man; and when my Gentleman began to speak to him, of sending for him, Sir, says he to him, my Friend is in the House; so without any more words he brought them together: When he came to the Minister, he ask'd him if he would venture to marry a couple of Strangers that were both willing? The Parson said that Mr. ––– had said something to him of it; that he hop'd it was no Clandestine Business; that he seem'd to be a grave Gentleman, and he suppos'd Madam was not a Girl, so that the consent of Friends should be wanted; to put you out of doubt of that, says my Gentleman, read this Paper, and out he pulls the License; I am satisfy'd, says the Minister, where is the Lady? you shall see her presently, says my Gentleman.

When he had said thus, he comes up stairs, and I was by that time come out of my Room, so he tells me the Minister was below, and that upon showing him the License, he was free to marry us with all his Heart, but he asks to see you, so he ask'd if I would let him come up.

'Tis time enough, said I, in the Morning, is it not? Why, said he, my Dear, he seem'd to scruple whether it was not some young Girl stolen from her Parents, and I assur'd him we were both of Age to command our own Consent; and that made him ask to see you; well, said I, do as you please; so up they brings the Parson, and a merry good sort of Gentleman he was: he had been told, it seems, that we had met there by accident, that I came in a Chester Coach, and my Gentleman in his own Coach to meet me: that we were to have met last Night at Stony-Stratford, but that he could not reach so far: Well, Sir, says the Parson, every ill turn has some good in it; the Disappointment, Sir, says he to my Gentleman, was yours, and the good Turn is mine, for if you had met at Stony-Stratford I had not had the Honour to Marry you: LANDLORD, have you a Common Prayer Book?

I started as if I had been frighted, Sir, says I, what do you mean, what to marry in an Inn, and at Night too! Madam, says the Minister, if you will have it be in the Church you shall; but I assure you your Marriage will be as firm here as in the Church; we are not tyed by the Canons to Marry no where but in the Church; and as for the time of Day, it does not at all weigh in this Case, our Princes are married in their Chambers, and at Eight or Ten a Clock at Night.

I was a great while before I could be perswaded, and pretended not to be willing at all to be married but in the Church; but it was all Grimace; so I seem'd at last to be prevail'd on, and my Landlord, and his Wife and Daughter, were call'd up: My Landlord was Father and Clark and all together, and we were married, and very Merry we were; tho' I confess the self-reproaches which I had upon me before, lay close to me, and extorted every now and then a deep sigh from me, which my Bridegroom took notice of, and endeavour'd to encourage me, thinking, poor Man, that I had some little hesitations at the Step I had taken so hastily.

We enjoy'd our selves that Evening compleatly, and yet all was kept so private in the Inn, that not a Servant in the House knew of it, for my Landlady and her Daughter waited on me, and would not let any of the Maids come up stairs. My Landlady's Daughter I call'd my Bride Maid; and sending for a Shopkeeper the next Morning, I gave the young Woman a good Suit of Knots, as good as the Town would afford, and finding it was a Lacemaking Town, I gave her Mother a Piece of Bone-lace for a Head.

One Reason that my Landlord was so close was, that he was unwilling the Minister of the Parish should hear of it; but for all that somebody heard of it, so as that we had the Bells set a Ringing the next Morning early, and the Musick, such as the Town would afford, under our Window; but my Landlord brazen'd it out, that we were marry'd before we came thither, only that being his former Guests, we would have our Wedding-Supper at his House.

We could not find in our Hearts to stir the next day; for, in short, having been disturb'd by the Bells in the Morning, and having perhaps not slept over much before, we were so sleepy afterwards that we lay in Bed till almost Twelve a Clock.

I beg'd my Landlady, that we might have no more Musick in the Town, nor ringing of Bells, and she manag'd it so well that we were very quiet: But an odd Passage interrupted all my Mirth for a good while; the great Room of the House look'd into the Street, and I had walk'd to the End of the Room, and it being a pleasant warm Day, I had open'd the Window, and was standing at it for some Air, when I saw three Gentlemen ride by, and go into an Inn just against us.

It was not to be conceal'd, nor did it leave me any Room to question it, but the second of the three, was my Lancashire Husband: I was frighted to Death, I never was in such a Consternation in my Life, I thought I should have sunk into the Ground, my Blood run chill in my Veins, and I trembl'd as if I had been in a cold fit of an Ague: I say, there was no room to question the Truth of it, I knew his Cloaths, I knew his Horse, and I knew his Face.

The first Reflection I made was, that my Husband was not by to see my Disorder, and that I was very glad of: The Gentlemen had not been long in the House but they came to the Window of their Room, as is usual; but my Window was shut you may be sure: However, I could not keep from peeping at them, and there I saw him again, heard him call to one of the Servants for something he wanted, and receiv'd all the terrifying Confirmations of its being the same Person, that were possible to be had.

My next concern was to know, what was his Business there; but that was impossible; sometimes my Imagination form'd an Idea of one frightful thing, sometimes of another; sometimes I thought he had discover'd me, and was come to upbraid me with Ingratitude and Breach of Honour; then I fancied he was coming up Stairs to insult me; and innumerable Thoughts came into my Head, of what was never in his Head, nor ever could be, unless the Devil had reveal'd it to him.

I remain'd in the Fright near two Hours, and scarce ever kept my Eye from the Window or Door of the Inn, where they were: At last hearing a great clutter in the Passage of their Inn, I run to the Window, and, to my great Satisfaction, I saw them all three go out again and travel on Westward; had they gone towards London, I should have been still in a Fright, least I should meet him again, and that he should know me; but he went the contrary way, and so I was eas'd of that Disorder.

We resolv'd to be going the next Day, but about six a Clock at Night we were alarm'd with a great Uproar in the Street, and People riding as if they had been out of their Wits, and what was it but a Hue and Cry after three Highway Men, that had rob'd two Coaches, and some Travellers near Dunstable Hill, and notice had, it seems, been given, that they had been seen at Brickill at such a House, meaning the House where those Gentlemen had been.

The House was immediately beset and search'd, but there were witnesses enough that the Gentlemen had been gone above three Hours; the Crowd having gathered about, we had the News presently; and I was heartily concern'd now another way: I presently told the People of the House, that I durst say those were honest Persons, for that I knew one of the Gentlemen to be a very honest Person, and of a good Estate in Lancashire.

The Constable, who came with the Hue and Cry, was immediately inform'd of this, and came over to me to be satisfy'd from my own Mouth, and I assur'd him that I saw the three Gentlemen as I was at the Window, that I saw them afterwards at the Windows of the Room they din'd in; that I saw them take Horse, and I would assure him I knew one of them to be such a Man, that he was a Gentleman of a very good Estate, and an undoubted Character in Lancashire, from whence I was just now upon my Journey.

The assurance with which I deliver'd this, gave the Mob Gentry a Check, and gave the Constable such Satisfaction, that he immediately sounded a Retreat, told his People these were not the Men, but that he had an account they were very honest Gentlemen, and so they went all back again; what the Truth of the matter was I knew not, but certain it was that the Coaches were rob'd at Dunstable Hill, and 560l. in Money taken, besides some of the Lace Merchants that always Travel that way had been visited too; as to the three Gentlemen, that remains to be explain'd hereafter.

Well, this Allarm stop'd us another Day, tho' my Spouse told me it was always safest Travelling after a Robbery, for that the Thieves were sure to be gone far enough off when they had allarm'd the Country; but I was uneasy, and indeed principally least my old Acquaintance should be upon the Road still, and should chance to see me.

I never liv'd four pleasanter Days together in my life, I was a meer Bride all this while, and my new Spouse strove to make me easie in every thing: O could this State of Life have continu'd! how had all my past Troubles been forgot, and my future Sorrows been avoided! but I had a past life of a most wretched kind to account for, some of it in this World as well as in another.

We came away the fifth Day; and my Landlord, because he saw me uneasie, mounted himself, his Son, and three honest Country Fellows, with good Fire-Arms, and, without telling us of it, follow'd the Coach, and would see us safe into Dunstable; we could do no less than treat them very handsomely at Dunstable, which Cost my Spouse about Ten or Twelve Shillings, and something he gave the Men for their Time too, but my Landlord would take nothing for himself.

This was the most happy Contrivance for me that could have fallen out, for had I come to London unmarried, I must either have come to him for the first Night's Entertainment, or have discovered to him that I had not one Acquaintance in the whole City of London, that could receive a poor Bride for the first Night's Lodging with her Spouse: But now I made no scruple of going directly home with him, and there I took Possession at once of a House well Furnished, and a Husband in very good Circumstances, so that I had a prospect of a very happy Life, if I knew how to manage it; and I had leisure to consider of the real Value of the Life I was likely to live; how different it was to be from the loose part I had acted before, and how much happier a Life of Virtue and Sobriety is, than that which we call a Life of Pleasure.

O had this particular Scene of Life lasted, or had I learnt from that time I enjoy'd it, to have tasted the true sweetness of it, and had I not fallen into that Poverty which is the sure Bane of Virtue, how happy had I been, not only here, but perhaps for ever? for while I liv'd thus, I was really a Penitent for all my Life pass'd, I look'd back on it with Abhorrence, and might truly be said to hate my self for it: I often reflected how my Lover at Bath, strook by the Hand of God, repented and abandon'd me, and refus'd to see me any more, tho' he lov'd me to an extreme; but I, prompted by that worst of Devils, Poverty, return'd to the vile Practice, and made the Advantage of what they call a handsome Face, be the Relief to my Necessities, and Beauty be a Pimp to Vice.

 

Now I seem'd landed in a safe Harbour, after the Stormy Voyage of Life past was at an end; and I began to be thankful for my Deliverance: I sat many an Hour by my self, and wept over the Remembrance of past Follies, and the dreadful Extravagances of a wicked Life, and sometimes I flatter'd my self that I had sincerely repented.

But there are Temptations which it is not in the Power of Human Nature to resist, and few know what would be their Case, if driven to the same Exigences: As Covetousness is the Root of all Evil, so Poverty is the worst of all Snares: But I wave that Discourse till I come to the Experiment.

I liv'd with this Husband in the utmost Tranquility; hewasa Quiet, Sensible, Soberman, Virtuous, Modest, Sincere, and in his Business Diligent and Just: His Business was in a narrow Compass, and his Income sufficient to a plentiful way of Living in the ordinary way; I do not say to keep an Equipage, and make a Figure as the World calls it, nor did I expect it, or desire it; for as I abhorred the Levity and Extravagance of my former Life, so I chose now to live retir'd, frugal, and within ourselves; I kept no Company, made no Visits; minded my Family, and obliged my Husband; and this kind of Life became a Pleasure to me.

We liv'd in an uninterrupted course of Ease and Content for five Years, when a sudden Blow from an almost invisible Hand, blasted all my happiness, and turn'd me out into the World in a Condition the reverse of all that had been before it.

My Husband having trusted one of his Fellow Clarks with a Sum of Money, too much for our Fortunes to bear the Loss of, the Clark fail'd, and the Loss fell very heavy on my Husband, yet it was not so great, but that if he had had Courage to have look'd his Misfortunes in the Face, his Credit was so good, that as I told him, he would easily recover it; for to sink under Trouble is to double the Weight, and he that will Die in it, shall Die in it.

It was in vain to speak comfortably to him, the Wound had sunk too deep, it was a Stab that touch'd the Vitals, he grew Melancholy and Disconsolate, and from thence Lethargick, and died; I foresaw the Blow, and was extremely oppress'd in my Mind, for I saw evidently that if he died I was undone.

I had had two Children by him and no more, for it began to be time for me to leave bearing Children, for I was now Eight and Forty, and I suppose if he had liv'd I should have had no more.

I was now left in a dismal and disconsolate Case indeed, and in several things worse than ever: First it was past the flourishing time with me when I might expect to be courted for a Mistress; that agreeable part had declin'd some time, and the Ruins only appear'd of what had been; and that which was worse than all was this, that I was the most dejected, disconsolate Creature alive; I that had encourag'd my Husband, and endeavour'd to support his Spirits under his Trouble could not support my own; I wanted that Spirit in trouble which I told him was so necessary for bearing the burthen.

But my Case was indeed Deplorable, for I was left perfectly Friendless and Helpless, and the Loss my Husband had sustain'd had reduc'd his Circumstances so low, that tho' indeed I was not in Debt, yet I could easily foresee that what was left would not support me long; that it wasted daily for Subsistence, so that it would be soon all spent, and then I saw nothing before me but the utmost Distress, and this represented it self so lively to my Thoughts, that it seem'd as if it was come, before it was really very near; also my very Apprehensions doubl'd the Misery, for I fancied every Sixpence that I paid for a Loaf of Bread, was the last I had in the World, and that To-morrow I was to fast, and be starv'd to Death.

In this Distress I had no Assistant, no Friend to comfort or advise me, I sat and cried and tormented myself Night and Day; wringing my Hands, and sometimes raving like a distracted Woman; and indeed I have often wonder'd it had not affected my Reason, for I had the Vapours to such a degree, that my Understanding was sometimes quite lost in Fancies and Imaginations.

I liv'd two Years in this dismal Condition, wasting that little I had, weeping continually over my dismal Circumstances, and as it were only bleeding to Death, without the least hope or prospect of help; and now I had cried so long, and so often, that Tears were exhausted, and I began to be Desperate, for I grew poor apace.

For a little Relief, I had put off my House and took Lodgings; and as I was reducing my Living, so I sold off most of my Goods, which put a little Money in my Pocket, and I liv'd near a Year upon that, spending very sparingly, and eeking things out to the utmost; but still when I look'd before me, my Heart would sink within me at the inevitable approach of Misery and Want: O let none read this part without seriously reflecting on the Circumstances of a desolate State, and how they would grapple with want of Friends and want of Bread; it will certainly make them think not of sparing what they have only, but of looking up to Heaven for support, and of the wise Man's Prayer, Give me not Poverty least I steal.

Let 'em remember that a time of Distress, is a time of dreadful Temptation, and all the Strength to resist is taken away; Poverty presses, the Soul is made Desperate by Distress, and what can be done? It was one Evening, when being brought, as I may say, to the last Gasp, I think I may truly say I was Distracted and Raving, when prompted by I know not what Spirit, and as it were, doing I did not know what, or why; I dress'd me, for I had still pretty good Cloaths, and went out: I am very sure I had no manner of Design in my Head, when I went out, I neither knew or consider'd where to go, or on what Business; but as the Devil carried me out, and laid his Bait for me, so he brought me to be sure to the place, for I knew not whether I was going or what I did.

Wandring thus about I knew not whether, I pass'd by an Apothecary's Shop in Leadenhall-street, where I saw lye on a Stool just before the Compter a little Bundle wrapt in a white Cloth, beyond it stood a Maid Servant with her Back to it, looking up towards the top of the Shop, where the Apothecary's Apprentice, as I suppose, was standing up on the Compter, with his back also to the Door, and a Candle in his Hand, looking and reaching up to the upper Shelf, for something he wanted, so that both were engag'd, and no Body else in the Shop.

This was the Bait; and the Devil who laid the Snare, prompted me, as if he had spoke, for I remember, and shall never forget it, 'twas like a voice Spoken over my Shoulder, take the Bundle; be quick; do it this Moment; it was no sooner said but I step'd into the Shop, and with my Back to the Wench, as if I had stood up for a Cart that was going by, I put my Hand behind me and took the Bundle, and went off with it, the Maid or Fellow not perceiving me, or any one else.

It is impossible to express the Horror of my Soul all the while I did it. When I went away I had no Heart to run, or scarce to mend my pace; I cross'd the Street indeed, and went down the first turning I came to, and I think it was a Street that went thro' into Fenchurch-street, from thence I crossed and turn'd thro' so many ways and turnings, that I could never tell which way it was, nor where I went, I felt not the Ground I stept on, and the farther I was out of Danger, the faster I went, till tyr'd and out of Breath, I was forc'd to sit down on a little Bench at a Door, and then found I was got into Thames-street, near Billingsgate: I rested me a little and went on, my Blood was all in a Fire, my Heart beat as if I was in a sudden Fright: In short, I was under such a Surprize that I knew not whether I was a going, or what to do.

After I had tyr'd my self thus with walking a long way about, and so eagerly, I began to consider and make home to my Lodging, where I came about Nine a Clock at Night.

What the Bundle was made up for, or on what Occasion laid where I found it, I knew not, but when I came to open it, I found there was a Suit of Child-bed Linnen in it, very good and almost new, the Lace very fine; there was a Silver Porringer of a Pint, a small Silver Mug and Six Spoons, with some other Linnen, a good Smock, and Three Silk Handkerchiefs, and in the Mug in a Paper, Eighteen Shillings and Six-pence in Money.

All the while I was opening these things I was under such dreadful Impressions of Fear, and in such Terror of Mind, tho' I was perfectly safe, that I cannot express the manner of it; I sat me down and cried most vehemently: Lord, said I, what am I now? a Thief! why I shall be taken next time and be carried to Newgate and be Try'd for my Life! and with that I cry'd again a long time, and I am sure, as poor as I was, if I had durst for fear, I would certainly have carried the Things back again; but that went off after a while: Well, I went to Bed for that Night, but slept little, the Horror of the Fact was upon my Mind, and I knew not what I said or did all Night, and all the next Day: Then I was impatient to hear some News of the Loss; and would fain know how it was, whether they were a Poor Bodies Goods, or a Rich; perhaps, said I, it may be some poor Widow like me, that had pack'd up these Goods to go and sell them for a little Bread for herself and a poor Child, and are now starving and breaking their Hearts, for want of that little they would have fetch'd, and this Thought tormented me worse than all the rest, for three or four Days.

But my own Distresses silenc'd all these Reflections, and the prospect of my own Starving, which grew every Day more frightful to me, harden'd my Heart by degrees; it was then particularly heavy upon my Mind, that I had been reform'd and had, as I hop'd, repented of all my pass'd wickednesses; that I had liv'd a sober, grave, retir'd Life for several Years, but now I should be driven by the dreadful Necessity of my Circumstances to the Gates of Destruction, Soul and Body; and two or three times I fell upon my Knees, praying to God, as well as I could, for Deliverance; but I cannot but say, my Prayers had no hope in them; I knew not what to do, it was all Fear without, and Dark within; and I reflected on my pass'd Life as not repented of, that Heaven was now beginning to punish me, and would make me as miserable as I had been wicked.

Had I gone on here I had perhaps been a true Penitent; but I had an evil Counsellor within, and he was continually prompting me to relieve my self by the worst means; so one Evening he tempted me again by the same wicked Impulse that had said, take that Bundle, to go out again and seek for what might happen.

I went out now by Day-light, and wandred about I knew not whether, and in search of I knew not what, when the Devil put a Snare in my way of a dreadful Nature indeed, and such a one as I have never had before or since; going thro' Aldersgate-street, there was a pretty little Child had been at a Dancing-School, and was a going home all alone, and my Prompter, like a true Devil, set me upon this innocent Creature; I talk'd to it, and it prattl'd to me again, and I took it by the Hand and led it a long till I came to a pav'd Alley that goes into Bartholomew-Close, and I led it in there; the Child said that was not its way home; I said, yes, my Dear, it is, I'll show you the way home; the Child had a little Necklace on of Gold Beads, and I had my Eye upon that, and in the dark of the Alley I stoop'd, pretending to mend the Child's Clog that was loose, and took off her Necklace, and the Child never felt it, and so led the Child on again: Here, I say, the Devil put me upon killing the Child in the dark Alley, that it might not Cry, but the very thought frighted me so that I was ready to drop down, but I turn'd the Child about and bad it go back again, for that was not its way home; the Child said so she would, and I went thro' into Bartholomew-Close, and then turn'd round to another Passage that goes into Long-lane, so away into Charterhouse-Yard, and out into St. John's-street; then crossing into Smithfield, went down Chick-lane, and into Field-lane, to Holbourn-bridge, when mixing with the Crowd of People usually passing there, it was not possible to have been found out; and thus I made my second Sally into the World.

The thoughts of this Booty put out all the thoughts of the first, and the Reflections I had made wore quickly off; Poverty harden'd my Heart, and my own Necessities made me regardless of anything: The last Affair left no great Concern upon me, for as I did the poor Child no harm, I only thought, I had given the Parents a just Reproof for their Negligence, in leaving the poor Lamb to come home by it self, and it would teach them to take more Care another time.

This String of Beads was worth about Twelve or Fourteen Pounds, I suppose it might have been formerly the Mother's, for it was too big for the Child's wear, but that, perhaps, the Vanity of the Mother to have her Child look Fine at the Dancing School, had made her let the Child wear it, and no doubt the Child had a Maid sent to take care of it, but she, like a careless Jade, was taken up perhaps with some Fellow that had met her, and so the poor Baby wandred till it fell into my Hands.

However, I did the Child no harm, I did not so much as fright it, for I had a great many tender Thoughts about me yet, and did nothing but what, as I may say, meer Necessity drove me to.

I had a great many Adventures after this, but I was young in the Business, and did not know how to manage, otherwise than as the Devil put things into my Head; and indeed he was seldom backward to me: One Adventure I had which was very lucky to me; I was going thro' Lombard street in the dusk of the Evening, just by the end of Three King Court, when on a sudden comes a Fellow running by me as swift as Lightning, and throws a Bundle that was in his Hand just behind me, as I stood up against the corner of the House at the turning into the Alley; just as he threw it in, he said, God bless you Mistress let it lie there a little, and away he runs: After him comes two more, and immediately a young Fellow without his Hat, crying stop Thief, they persued the two last Fellows so close, that they were forc'd to drop what they had got, and one of them was taken into the bargain, the other got off free.

I stood stock still all this while till they came back, dragging the poor Fellow they had taken, and lugging the Things they had found, extremely well satisfied that they had recovered the Booty, and taken the Thief; and thus they pass'd by me, for I look'd only like one who stood up while the Crowd was gone.

Once or twice I ask'd what was the matter, but the People neglected answering me, and I was not very importunate; but after the Crowd was wholly pass'd, I took my opportunity to turn about and take up what was behind me and walk away: This indeed I did with less Disturbance than I had done formerly, for these things I did not steal, but they were stolen to my Hand: I got safe to my Lodgings with this Cargo, which was a Peice of fine black Lustring Silk, and a peice of Velvet; the latter was but part of a Peice of about 11 Yards; the former was a whole Peice of near 50 Yards; it seems it was a Mercer's Shop that they had rifl'd; I say, rifled, because the Goods were so considerable that they had Lost; for the Goods that they Recover'd were pretty many, and I believe came to about six or seven several Peices of Silk: How they came to get so many I could not tell; but as I had only robb'd the Thief, I made no scruple at taking these Goods, and being very glad of them too.

I had pretty good Luck thus far, and I made several Adventures more, tho' with but small Purchase, yet with good Success, but I went in daily dread that some mischief would befal me, and that I should certainly come to be hang'd at last: The impression this made on me was too strong to be slighted, and it kept me from making attempts, that for ought I knew might have been very safely perform'd; but one thing I cannot omit, which was a Bait to me many a Day. I walked frequently out into the Villages round the Town to see if nothing would fall in my Way there; and going by a House near Stepney, I saw on the Window-board two Rings, one a small Diamond Ring, and the other a plain Gold Ring, to be sure laid there by some thoughtless Lady, that had more Money than Forecast, perhaps only till she wash'd her Hands.

I walk'd several times by the Window to observe if I could see whether there was any Body in the Room or no, and I could see no Body, but still I was not sure; it came presently into my Thoughts to rap at the Glass, as if I wanted to speak with some Body, and if any Body was there they would be sure to come to the Window, and then I would tell them to remove those Rings, for that I had seen two suspicious Fellows take notice of them: This was a ready Thought, I rapt once or twice and no Body came, when I thrust hard against the Square of Glass, and broke it with little Noise, and took out the two Rings, and walk'd away, the Diamond Ring was worth about 3l., and the other about 9s.

I was now at a loss for a Market for my Goods, and especially for my two Peices of Silk, I was very loth to dispose of them for a Trifle; as the poor unhappy Thieves in general do, who after they have ventur'd their Lives for perhaps a thing of Value, are forc'd to sell it for a Song when they have done; but I was resolv'd I would not do thus, whatever Shift I made; however, I did not well know what Course to take: At last I resolv'd to go to my old Governess, and acquaint my self with her again; I had punctually supply'd the 5l. a Year to her for my little Boy as long as I was able; but at last was oblig'd to put a stop to it: However, I had written a Letter to her, wherein I had told her that my Circumstances were reduc'd; that I had lost my Husband, and that I was not able to do it any longer, and beg'd the poor Child might not suffer too much for its Mother's Misfortunes.

I now made her a Visit, and I found that she drove something of the old Trade still, but that she was not in such flourishing Circumstances as before; for she had been Sued by a certain Gentleman, who had had his Daughter stolen from him; and who it seems she had helped to convey away; and it was very narrowly that she escap'd the Gallows; the Expence also had ravag'd her, so that her House was but meanly Furnished, and she was not in such repute for her Practice as before; however, she stood upon her Legs, as they say, and as she was a bustling Woman, and had some Stock left, she was turn'd Pawn Broker, and liv'd pretty well.

She receiv'd me very civilly, and with her usual obliging manner told me, she would not have the less respect for me, for my being reduc'd; that she had taken Care my Boy was very well look'd after, tho' I could not pay for him, and that the Woman that had him was easie, so that I needed not to Trouble my self about him, till I might be better able to do it effectually.

I told her I had not much Money left, but that I had some things that were Monie's worth, if she could tell me how I might turn them into Money; she ask'd what it was I had? I pull'd out the string of gold Beads, and told her it was one of my Husband's Presents to me; then I show'd her the two Parcels of Silk which I told her I had from Ireland, and brought up to Town with me; and the little Diamond Ring; as to the small Parcel of Plate and Spoons, I had found means to dispose of them my self before; and as for the Childbed Linnen I had, she offer'd me to take it her self, believing it to have been my own; she told me that she was turn'd Pawn-Broker, and that she would sell those things for me as pawn'd to her, and so she sent presently for proper Agents that bought them, being in her Hands, without any scruple, and gave good Prizes too.

I now began to think this necessary Woman might help me a little in my low Condition to some Business; for I would gladly have turn'd my Hand to any honest Employment if I could have got it; but honest Business did not come within her reach; if I had been younger, perhaps she might have helped me, but my Thoughts were off of that kind of Livelihood, as being quite out of the way after 50, which was my Case, and so I told her.

She invited me at last to come, and be at her House till I could find something to do, and it should cost me very little, and this I gladly accepted of; and now living a little easier, I enter'd into some Measures to have my little Son by my last Husband taken off; and this she made easie too, reserving a Payment only of 5l. a Year, if I could pay it. This was such a help to me, that for a good while I left off the wicked Trade that I had so newly taken up; and gladly I would have got Work, but that was very hard to do for one that had no Acquaintance.

However, at last I got some Quilting Work for Ladies Beds, Petticoats, and the like; and this I lik'd very well and work'd very hard, and with this I began to live; but the diligent Devil who resolv'd I should continue in his Service, continually prompted me to go out and take a Walk, that is to say, to see if any thing would offer in the old Way.

One Evening I blindly obeyed his Summons, and fetch'd a long Circuit thro' the Streets, but met with no purchase; but not content with that, I went out the next Evening too, when going by an Alehouse I saw the Door of a little room open, next the very Street, and on the Table a silver Tankard, things much in use in publick Houses at that time; it seems some Company had been drinking there, and the careless Boys had forgot to take it away.

I went into the Box frankly, and setting the silver Tankard on the Corner of the Bench, I sat down before it, and knock'd with my Foot, a Boy came presently, and I bad him fetch me a pint of warm Ale, for it was cold Weather; the Boy run, and I heard him go down the Cellar to draw the Ale; while the Boy was gone, another Boy come, and cried, d'ye call, I spoke with a melancholly Air, and said, no, the Boy is gone for a pint of Ale for me.

While I sat here, I heard the Woman in the Bar say, are they all gone in the FIVE, which was the Box I sat in, and the Boy said, yes; who fetch'd the Tankard away? says the Woman, I did, says another Boy, that's it, pointing it seems to another Tankard, which he had fetch'd from another Box by Mistake; or else it must be, that the Rogue forgot that he had not brought it in, which certainly he had not.

I heard all this, much to my satisfaction, for I found plainly that the Tankard was not mist, and yet they concluded it was fetch'd away; so I drank my Ale, call'd to Pay, and as I went away, I said, take care of your Plate, Child, meaning a silver pint Mug which he brought me to Drink in; the Boy said, yes, Madam, very welcome, and away I came.

I came Home to my Governess, and now I thought it was a time to try her, that if I might be put to the Necessity of being expos'd she might offer me some assistance; when I had been at Home some time, and had an opportunity of Talking to her, I told her I had a Secret of the greatest Consequence in the World to commit to her, if she had respect enough for me to keep it a Secret: she told me she had kept one of my Secrets faithfully; why should I doubt her keeping another? I told her the strangest thing in the World had befallen me, even without any design; and so told her the whole Story of the Tankard: And have you brought it away with you my Dear, says she, to be sure I have, says I, and shew'd it her. But what shall I do now, says I, must not I carry it again?

Carry it again! says she, Ay, if you want to go to Newgate; why, says I, they can't be so base to stop me, when I carry it to them again? You don't know those Sort of People Child, says she, they'll not only carry you to Newgate, but hang you too without any regard to the honesty of returning it; or bring in an Account of all the other Tankards as they have lost for you to pay for: What must I do then? says I; Nay, says she, as you have plaid the cunning part and stole it, you must e'en keep it, there's no going back now; besides Child, says she, Don't you want it more than they do? I wish you cou'd light of such a Bargain once a Week.

This gave me a new Notion of my Governess, and that since she was turn'd Pawn-Broker, she had a Sort of People about her, that were none of the honest ones that I had met with there before.

I had not been long there, but I discover'd it more plainly than before, for every now and then I saw Hilts of Swords, Spoons, Forks, Tankards, and all such kind of Ware brought in, not to be Pawn'd, but to be sold down right; and she bought them all without asking any Questions, but had good Bargains as I found by her Discourse.

I found also that in following this Trade, she always melted down the Plate she bought, that it might not be challeng'd; and she came to me and told me one Morning that she was going to Melt, and if I would, she would put my Tankard in, that it might not be seen by any Body; I told her with all my Heart; so she weigh'd it, and allow'd me the full value in Silver again; but I found she did not do so to the rest of her Customers.

Sometime after this, as I was at Work, and very melancholly, she begins to ask me what the Matter was? I told her my Heart was very heavy, I had little Work, and nothing to live on, and knew not what Course to take; she laugh'd and told me I must go out again and try my Fortune; it might be that I might meet with another Peice of Plate. O, Mother! says I, that is a Trade that I have no skill in, and if I should be taken I am undone at once; says she, I could help you to a School-Mistress, that shall make you as dexterous as her self; I trembled at that Proposal, for hitherto I had had no Confederates, nor any Acquaintance among that Tribe; but she conquer'd all my Modesty, and all my Fears; and in a little time, by the help of this Confederate, I grew as impudent a Thief, and as dexterous, as ever Moll Cut-Purse was, tho' if Fame does not belie her, not half so Handsome.

The Comrade she helped me to, dealt in three sorts of Craft. (viz.) Shop-lifting, stealing of Shop-Books and Pocket-Books, and taking off Gold Watches from the Ladies Sides; and this last she did so dexterously that no Woman ever arriv'd to the Perfection of that Art, like her: I lik'd the first and the last of these things very well, and I attended her some time in the Practice, just as a Deputy attends a Midwife without any Pay.

At length she put me to Practice, she had shewn me her Art, and I had several times unhook'd a Watch from her own Side with great dexterity; at last she show'd me a Prize, and this was a Young lady with Child who had a charming Watch, the thing was to be done as she came out of the Church; she goes on one side of the Lady, and pretends, just as she came to the Steps, to fall, and fell against the Lady with so much violence as put her into a great fright, and both cry'd out terribly: in the very moment that she jostl'd the Lady, I had hold of the Watch, and holding it the right way, the start she gave drew the Hook out and she never felt it; I made off immediately, and left my School-Mistress to come out of her Fright gradually, and the Lady too; and presently the Watch was miss'd; ay, says my Comrade, then it was those Rogues that thrust me down, I warrant ye; I wonder the Gentle-woman did not miss her Watch before, then we might have taken them.

She humour'd the thing so well that no Body suspected her, and I was got home a full Hour before her: This was my first Adventure in Company; the Watch was indeed a very fine one, and had many Trinkets about it, and my Governess allow'd us 20l. for it, of which I had half, and thus I was enter'd a compleat Thief, harden'd to a Pitch above all the Reflections of Conscience or Modesty, and to a Degree which I never thought possible in me.

Thus the Devil who began, by the help of an irresistible Poverty, to push me into this Wickedness, brought me on to a height beyond the common Rate, even when my Necessities were not so terrifying; for I had now got into a little Vein of Work, and as I was not at a loss to handle my Needle, it was very probable I might have got my Bread honestly enough.

I must say, that if such a prospect of Work had presented it self at first, when I began to feel the approach of my miserable Circumstances; I say, had such a prospect of getting Bread by working presented it self then, I had never fallen into this wicked Trade, or into such a wicked Gang as I was now embark'd with; but practice had hardened me, and I grew audacious to the last degree; and the more so, because I had carried it on so long, and had never been taken; for in a word, my new Partner in Wickedness and I went on together so long, without being ever detected, that we not only grew Bold, but we grew Rich, and we had at one time One and Twenty Gold Watches in our Hands.

I remember that one Day being a little more serious than ordinary, and finding I had so good a Stock beforehand, as I had, for I had near 200l.