And the false name..."
"I had no chance with my own. I waited for two years for an opportunity
like you gave me. And I did not deceive you. My credentials were exact save
for the name. I had all the attainments, the qualifications you required, and
I believe that I have served you faithfullyyou and Edmund."
"Of course." The Professor made a show of recovering himself, he twisted
away from the other and sat down. "And then yesterdaybut I wish that
you hadn't told me."
"Why, what difference can it make?"
"Well, it's a shock and you spoke just now as ifas if you
werebut it's absurd."
"What's absurd?"
"Didn't you say that you hadthat you were?"
"Guilty? I assumed it, yes. I don't say so definitelylet it go. I
was acquitted and no one can touch me now, even if I confessed, and I don't
intend to confess. We need not talk of it again."
Professor Awkwright sickened; he sat shrunk together in the big cosy,
pleasant chair and felt all the agreeable, safe and familiar places of his
life laid bare and devastated.
"I should like to think that it isn't true, Joliffe." The little man's
eyes were pathetic behind the thick crystals.
"I can prove it if you wish. What difference can it make? There's the boy,
our work, the book, all our years together. Whatever I did can't affect any
of that?"
"Quite so. Quite so."
The tutor went to bed; he did not seem in the least disturbed, he spoke of
the Minoan seals he hoped to finish copying in the morning, and gave his
usual "Good night, sir" cheerfully.
The Professor sat alone with his problem.
What ought he to do?
What did he intend to do?
Joliffe was essential to him, to the boy, to the book...where would he
find another man who suited him so well, who would be willing to live his
kind of life? Who would put up with Edmund?
Professor Awkwright groaned and began to argue speciously with
himself.
Joliffe had been acquitted, a victim of a terrible misfortune; it was ten
years ago and no one's business; Joliffe had put him under the greatest
obligation yesterdaywhy shouldn't everything go on as before?
"Just forget all about it, eh? Joliffe would never speak of it again."
But there was that stern streak in the Professor that made him soon reject
the easy, the convenient way, and all specious, fallacious reasonings.
He grimly tackled himself; the man was almost, on his own confession, a
murderer, and one without remorse; the Professor utterly rejected all
arguments about the codes of the Cretans, the Elizabethans, Mexico and
Chicago and the value of human life; he was an upright, law-abiding man;
murder was murder, deceit was deceit; of course it was most extraordinary
that a cultured human being like Joliffe...He returned to his own theory of
the hidden ape, the ape striking down where it hated, rescuing where it
loved; he shuddered before the horrid vision of Joliffe, suddenly agile as a
monkey, scaling down those rocks after Edmund...he had wondered how the
stiff-limbed man had done it...the Professor checked these crazy, miserable
thoughts, he forced himself to be brave and cool.
After all, there was only one thing to be done. Joliffe must go.
Yes, if all the Professor's peace and happiness went with him he must go;
that was the only right, reasonable and logical solution of the horrid
problem.
And, screwed up to an unnatural courage that he feared would not last till
the morning, Professor Awkwright went up at once to Samuel Joliffe's (for so
he persisted in naming him) room.
The tutor opened the door to the timid knock of his employer. "I am afraid
I must speak to you, Joliffe, at once."
Joliffe wore a camel-hair dressing-gown, rather short in the sleeves, he
looked meek, surprised and of an imperturbable innocence; the Professor felt
very shaky indeed as he followed him into the neat bedroom.
"Speak to me, sir, at once? About the book?"
Joliffe glanced at a pile of notes on the table by his bedside, but
Awkwright glanced at the wireless set, the gramophone, the telephone.
Why had it not occurred to him before that these were outlets for the
tutor's personality which was by no means satisfied by the quiet scholarly
life that, outwardly, seemed so to content him?
Perhaps he spoke to friends of the old days on the telephone, no doubt he
kept in touch with the busy doings of the world by means of the wireless, and
indulged personal tastes with the gramophone discssafety valves all
these for a dangerous, complex personality.
"I'm afraid"Professor Awkwright checked himself with a cowardly
clutching at a faint hope"I suppose it wasn't all a joke about your
being Hammerton?"
"It wasn't a joke. I thought I knew you well enough to tell you. But you
began to say, am afraid'?"
"I am afraid that you must go."
"I must go? You mean that I am dismissed?"
"I wouldn't put it like that"
"But that is what it comes to"
"I'm afraid so."
Joliffe seemed completely amazed; he took off his glasses, fidgeted with
them, returned them to his nose, and asked dully:
"What about the boy?"
"It's dreadful, I knowbut"
"What are you going to tell him?"
"Oh, not the truthsome excuseI know it is all dreadful,"
repeated the Professor feebly.
"Dreadful?" repeated Joliffe shortly. "It is absurd. It means that we have
never understood each otherindeed, totally mistaken each
otherall these years. I thought that, under your little mannerisms,
you were a broad-minded man"
"But a question ofof"
"Of murder? I never admitted to murder, but if I had? It can't be possible
that you take the view of the man in the street about thatthink of
these ancient peoples we are always studying"
"It is no use, Joliffe." Professor Awkwright was shuddering with anguish.
"You must go."
"And the book?"
The little Professor's drawn face took on a livelier expression of
grief.
"The book must be sacrificed"there was heroism in his supreme
renunciation. "I quite agree that you have a large share in itbut to
publish it under an assumed nameor under your own!"
"Impossible?"
"Quite impossible, you must see it."
"I don't see it."
They stared at each other with the bitter hostility only frustrated
affection can assume; Professor Awkwright's dry and trembling fingers stroked
his thin grey beard; he felt quite sick with the temptation to "forget all
about it" as he put it childishly to himselfwhy not, for the book's
sake, the boy's sake, hush up the whole affair? It was so long ago and who
was to care now?
But the little man's innate integrity was too strong for his intense
desires; Joliffe was watching him quietly, with dignity, yet as a prisoner
may watch a judge about to pronounce sentence. "I'm happy here and useful,"
he remarked drily. "And you have nothing to go on but bare
suspicionyou might consider that."
"I can't tell you quite what it is, Joliffe" The Professor's
anguish was very stressed and Joliffe's glance darkened into some emotion
that seemed (the other man thought) pity mingled with disdain.
"Perhaps," he said, "you are afraid? Of me? Of what you call 'the hidden
ape'?"
"That's absurd!" Awkwright made a great effort to give the whole nightmare
business a commonplace, almost a jovial, air, to reduce what was so
fantastically horrible and had indeed changed the aspect of everything for
him, into an affair of everydayjust the giving of "notice" to a
secretary, a tutor, who had proved unsuitablea distasteful business,
no more, but he shuddered with the desperate futility of this attempt; he
made for the door with an uncontrollable need to get away from Joliffe's
gaze.
He had said that it was "absurd" for him to be afraidbut of course
he was afraid, horribly afraid, of Joliffe, of his own weakness, of something
more powerful than either that seemed to fill the room like a fearful
miasma.
But nothing sensational happened; Joliffe said in the most ordinary
tones:
"Very well. I will go tomorrow. Of course I shall miss the book. And
Edmund."
At the door Professor Awkwright mumbled:
"I shall always remind Edmund that you saved his lifewhat a great
deal he owes you."
"Oh, there won't be any need of thathe'll remember me all
rightgood night, Professor Awkwright."
The Professor closed the door, and went, not to his bedroom, but to his
study where he and Joliffe had worked for so long in complete harmony.
"I'm sure I've done right," he kept saying to himself, "I'm quite sure
I've done right." But he found it unbearable to look at the other man's
notes, at the neat evidences of his long labor, he found it impossible to
rest or in any way to consider the situation calmly, and he could not for a
second conceive in what manner he should deal with Edmund when that poor
youth discovered that Joliffe was gone.
And there was another torturing horror working in Awkwright's mind.
"I say I am quite sure, but I never shall be quite sureI mean if he
isor not"
Professor Awkwright sat quite still for a full quarter of an hour; staring
at the materials for his book which showed familiar yet horrible in the
shaded electric lamp. He was really hardly able to grasp his misery nor the
full value of all that he had sacrificed to a principle; he tried to comfort
himself by the sheer strength of his integrity of purpose, the blamelessness
of his own motivesbut it was useless; he could make himself conscious
of nothing but his great personal disaster.
The window had been set open to air the room and Awkwright became
gradually conscious of the physical discomfort of the cold draft blowing
beneath the blind.
He rose at last heavily, and almost without his own volition to remedy
this; exhausted by emotion he stood with the blind in his hand and stared
stupidly across the lawn and the shrubbery, faintly lit by the beams of a
high moon falling through a mist; he soon forgot that he had risen to shut
the window, and stood patiently in the cold air which harshly stirred his
loose grey hair.
Suddenly his attention was aroused and held by an object which suddenly
swung into the circle of his vision and seemed immediately to become the
focus of the midnight landscape and of his own mind.
A thin, darkly clad figure was proceeding across the lawn, half leaping,
half crawling through the shadows; the arms looked very long, now and then
the lanky, uncouth shape appeared to sink to hands and knees in a scrawling
effort at haste.
Professor Awkwright dropped the blind; with no more hesitation than if an
imperative hand had seized his collar he swung round, ascended the stairs and
crept into Edmund's room.
Until he looked on the bed he did not know why the sight of the ape-like
figure had sent him to the boy.
The cosy glow of the carefully sheltered night light showed in the warm
flickers of soft illumination a lifeless body on the scarcely disarranged
pillow; powerful hands had skilfully strangled Edmund in his sleep.
Again Awkwright found himself at the window, trying now to scream, to
signal, to express his scattered soul; again he saw the ape-like figure,
running over the fields beyond the garden, towards the gloomy hills; it
seemed to proceed with a hideous exultation, a dark joy powerfully expressed
in the swinging animal movements, in the triumphant haste towards the
wilderness, in the challenging thrown back head which seemed to howl at the
moon that swung in an unfathomable, dreadful void.
Published in Seeing Life! And Other Stories, Hurst & Blackett,
London, 1923
This is a queer story, the more queer for the interpretation
of passions of strong human heat that have been put upon it, and for glimpses
of other motives and doings, not, it would seem, human at all.
The whole thing is seen vaguely, brokenly, a snatch here and there; one
tells the tale, strangely another exclaims amaze, a third points out a scene,
a fourth has a dim memory of a circumstance, a nine-days' (or less) wonder,
an old print helps, the name on a mural tablet in a deserted church pinches
the heart with a sense of confirmation, and so you have your story. When all
is said it remains a queer tale.
It is seventy years odd ago, so dating back from this present year of 1845
you come to nearly midway in the last century when conditions were vastly
different from what they are now.
The scene is in Glasgow, and there are three points from which we start,
all leading us to the heart of our tale.
The first is the portrait of a woman that hangs in the parlor of a
respectable banker. He believes it to be the likeness of some connection of
his wife's, dead this many a year, but he does not know much about it. Some
while ago it was discovered in a lumber-room, and he keeps it for the pallid
beauty of the canvas, which is much faded and rubbed.
Since, as a young man, I first had the privilege of my Worthy friend's
acquaintance, I have always felt a strange interest in this picture; and, in
that peculiar way that the imagination will seize on trifles, I was always
fascinated by the dress of the lady. This is of dark-green very fine silk, an
uncommon color to use in a portrait, and, perhaps, in a lady's dress.
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