That was
clearly a mistake. He had said that the cheque had been given to
him by the dean. That was clearly another mistake. She knew, or
thought she knew, that he, being such as he was, might make such
blunders as these, and yet be true. She believed that such
statements might be blunders and not falsehoods,—so convinced was
she that her husband's mind would not act at all times as do the
minds of other men. But having such a conviction she was driven to
believe also that almost anything might be possible. Soames may
have been right, or he might have dropped, not the book, but the
cheque. She had no difficulty in presuming Soames to be wrong in
any detail, if by so supposing she could make the exculpation of
her husband easier to herself. If villainy on the part of Soames
was needful to her theory, Soames would become to her a villain at
once,—of the blackest dye. Might it not be possible that the cheque
having thus fallen into her husband's hands, he had come, after a
while, to think that it had been sent to him by his friend, the
dean? And if it were so, would it be possible to make others so
believe? That there was some mistake which would be easily
explained were her husband's mind lucid at all points, but which
she could not explain because of the darkness of his mind, she was
thoroughly convinced. But were she herself to put forward such a
defence on her husband's part, she would in doing so be driven to
say that he was a lunatic,—that he was incapable of managing the
affairs of himself or his family. It seemed to her that she would
be compelled to have him proved to be either a thief or a madman.
And yet she knew that he was neither. That he was not a thief was
as clear to her as the sun at noonday. Could she have lain on this
man's bosom for twenty years, and not yet have learned the secrets
of the heart beneath? The whole mind of the man was, as she told
herself, within her grasp. He might have taken the twenty pounds;
he might have taken it and spent it, though it was not his own; but
yet he was no thief. Nor was he a madman. No man more sane in
preaching the gospel of his Lord, in making intelligible to the
ignorant the promises of his Saviour, ever got into a parish
pulpit, or taught in a parish school. The intellect of the man was
as clear as running water in all things not appertaining to his
daily life and its difficulties. He could be logical with a
vengeance,—so logical as to cause infinite trouble to his wife,
who, with all her good sense, was not logical. And he had Greek at
his fingers' ends,—as his daughter knew very well. And even to this
day he would sometimes recite to them English poetry, lines after
lines, stanzas upon stanzas, in a sweet low melancholy voice, on
long winter evenings when occasionally the burden of his troubles
would be lighter to him than was usual. Books in Latin and in
French he read with as much ease as in English, and took delight in
such as came to him, when he would condescend to accept such loans
from the deanery. And there was at times a lightness of heart about
the man. In the course of the last winter he had translated into
Greek irregular verse the very noble ballad of Lord Bateman,
maintaining the rhythm and the rhyme, and had repeated it with
uncouth glee till his daughter knew it all by heart. And when there
had come to him a five-pound note from some admiring magazine
editor as the price of the same,—still through the dean's hands,—he
had brightened up his heart and had thought for an hour or two that
even yet the world would smile upon him. His wife knew well that he
was not mad; but yet she knew that there were dark moments with
him, in which his mind was so much astray that he could not justly
be called to account as to what he might remember and what he might
forget. How would it be possible to explain all this to a judge and
jury, so that they might neither say that he was dishonest, nor yet
that he was mad? "Perhaps he picked it up, and had forgotten," her
daughter said to her. Perhaps it was so, but she might not as yet
admit as much even to her child.
"It is a mystery, dear, as yet, which, with God's aid, will be
unravelled. Of one thing we at least may be sure; that your papa
has not wilfully done anything wrong."
"Of course we are sure of that, mamma."
Mrs Crawley had many troubles during the next four or five days,
of which the worst, perhaps, had reference to the services of the
Sunday which intervened between the day of her visit to
Silverbridge, and the sitting of the magistrates. On the Saturday
it was necessary that he should prepare his sermons, of which he
preached two on every Sunday, though his congregation consisted
only of farmers, brickmakers, and agricultural labourers, who would
willingly have dispensed with the second.
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