'What letter?'
'The letter,' whispered Tigg in the same cautious manner as
before, 'which my friend Pecksniff addressed to Chevy Slyme,
Esquire, and left with you.'
'He didn't leave any letter with me,' said Tom.
'Hush!' cried the other. 'It's all the same thing, though not so
delicately done by my friend Pecksniff as I could have wished. The
money.'
'The money!' cried Tom quite scared.
'Exactly so,' said Mr Tigg. With which he rapped Tom twice or
thrice upon the breast and nodded several times, as though he would
say that he saw they understood each other; that it was unnecessary
to mention the circumstance before a third person; and that he
would take it as a particular favour if Tom would slip the amount
into his hand, as quietly as possible.
Mr Pinch, however, was so very much astounded by this (to him)
inexplicable deportment, that he at once openly declared there must
be some mistake, and that he had been entrusted with no commission
whatever having any reference to Mr Tigg or to his friend, either.
Mr Tigg received this declaration with a grave request that Mr
Pinch would have the goodness to make it again; and on Tom's
repeating it in a still more emphatic and unmistakable manner,
checked it off, sentence for sentence, by nodding his head solemnly
at the end of each. When it had come to a close for the second
time, Mr Tigg sat himself down in a chair and addressed the young
men as follows:
'Then I tell you what it is, gents both. There is at this
present moment in this very place, a perfect constellation of
talent and genius, who is involved, through what I cannot but
designate as the culpable negligence of my friend Pecksniff, in a
situation as tremendous, perhaps, as the social intercourse of the
nineteenth century will readily admit of. There is actually at this
instant, at the Blue Dragon in this village—an ale-house, observe;
a common, paltry, low-minded, clodhopping, pipe-smoking
ale-house—an individual, of whom it may be said, in the language of
the Poet, that nobody but himself can in any way come up to him;
who is detained there for his bill. Ha! ha! For his bill. I repeat
it—for his bill. Now,' said Mr Tigg, 'we have heard of Fox's Book
of Martyrs, I believe, and we have heard of the Court of Requests,
and the Star Chamber; but I fear the contradiction of no man alive
or dead, when I assert that my friend Chevy Slyme being held in
pawn for a bill, beats any amount of cockfighting with which I am
acquainted.'
Martin and Mr Pinch looked, first at each other, and afterwards
at Mr Tigg, who with his arms folded on his breast surveyed them,
half in despondency and half in bitterness.
'Don't mistake me, gents both,' he said, stretching forth his
right hand. 'If it had been for anything but a bill, I could have
borne it, and could still have looked upon mankind with some
feeling of respect; but when such a man as my friend Slyme is
detained for a score—a thing in itself essentially mean; a low
performance on a slate, or possibly chalked upon the back of a
door—I do feel that there is a screw of such magnitude loose
somewhere, that the whole framework of society is shaken, and the
very first principles of things can no longer be trusted. In short,
gents both,' said Mr Tigg with a passionate flourish of his hands
and head, 'when a man like Slyme is detained for such a thing as a
bill, I reject the superstitions of ages, and believe nothing. I
don't even believe that I DON'T believe, curse me if I do!'
'I am very sorry, I am sure,' said Tom after a pause, 'but Mr
Pecksniff said nothing to me about it, and I couldn't act without
his instructions. Wouldn't it be better, sir, if you were to go
to—to wherever you came from—yourself, and remit the money to your
friend?'
'How can that be done, when I am detained also?' said Mr Tigg;
'and when moreover, owing to the astounding, and I must add, guilty
negligence of my friend Pecksniff, I have no money for
coach-hire?'
Tom thought of reminding the gentleman (who, no doubt, in his
agitation had forgotten it) that there was a post-office in the
land; and that possibly if he wrote to some friend or agent for a
remittance it might not be lost upon the road; or at all events
that the chance, however desperate, was worth trusting to. But, as
his good-nature presently suggested to him certain reasons for
abstaining from this hint, he paused again, and then asked:
'Did you say, sir, that you were detained also?'
'Come here,' said Mr Tigg, rising. 'You have no objection to my
opening this window for a moment?'
'Certainly not,' said Tom.
'Very good,' said Mr Tigg, lifting the sash. 'You see a fellow
down there in a red neckcloth and no waistcoat?'
'Of course I do,' cried Tom. 'That's Mark Tapley.'
'Mark Tapley is it?' said the gentleman. 'Then Mark Tapley had
not only the great politeness to follow me to this house, but is
waiting now, to see me home again. And for that attention, sir,'
added Mr Tigg, stroking his moustache, 'I can tell you, that Mark
Tapley had better in his infancy have been fed to suffocation by
Mrs Tapley, than preserved to this time.'
Mr Pinch was not so dismayed by this terrible threat, but that
he had voice enough to call to Mark to come in, and upstairs; a
summons which he so speedily obeyed, that almost as soon as Tom and
Mr Tigg had drawn in their heads and closed the window again, he,
the denounced, appeared before them.
'Come here, Mark!' said Mr Pinch. 'Good gracious me! what's the
matter between Mrs Lupin and this gentleman?'
'What gentleman, sir?' said Mark. 'I don't see no gentleman here
sir, excepting you and the new gentleman,' to whom he made a rough
kind of bow—'and there's nothing wrong between Mrs Lupin and either
of you, Mr Pinch, I am sure.'
'Nonsense, Mark!' cried Tom. 'You see Mr—'
'Tigg,' interposed that gentleman. 'Wait a bit. I shall crush
him soon. All in good time!'
'Oh HIM!' rejoined Mark, with an air of careless defiance. 'Yes,
I see HIM. I could see him a little better, if he'd shave himself,
and get his hair cut.'
Mr Tigg shook his head with a ferocious look, and smote himself
once upon the breast.
'It's no use,' said Mark. 'If you knock ever so much in that
quarter, you'll get no answer. I know better.
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