Todgers.'
It seemed that M. Todgers was not up yet, for Mr Pecksniff
knocked twice and rang thrice, without making any impression on
anything but a dog over the way. At last a chain and some bolts
were withdrawn with a rusty noise, as if the weather had made the
very fastenings hoarse, and a small boy with a large red head, and
no nose to speak of, and a very dirty Wellington boot on his left
arm, appeared; who (being surprised) rubbed the nose just mentioned
with the back of a shoe-brush, and said nothing.
'Still a-bed my man?' asked Mr Pecksniff.
'Still a-bed!' replied the boy. 'I wish they wos still a-bed.
They're very noisy a-bed; all calling for their boots at once. I
thought you was the Paper, and wondered why you didn't shove
yourself through the grating as usual. What do you want?'
Considering his years, which were tender, the youth may be said
to have preferred this question sternly, and in something of a
defiant manner. But Mr Pecksniff, without taking umbrage at his
bearing put a card in his hand, and bade him take that upstairs,
and show them in the meanwhile into a room where there was a
fire.
'Or if there's one in the eating parlour,' said Mr Pecksniff, 'I
can find it myself.' So he led his daughters, without waiting for
any further introduction, into a room on the ground-floor, where a
table-cloth (rather a tight and scanty fit in reference to the
table it covered) was already spread for breakfast; displaying a
mighty dish of pink boiled beef; an instance of that particular
style of loaf which is known to housekeepers as a slack-baked,
crummy quartern; a liberal provision of cups and saucers; and the
usual appendages.
Inside the fender were some half-dozen pairs of shoes and boots,
of various sizes, just cleaned and turned with the soles upwards to
dry; and a pair of short black gaiters, on one of which was
chalked—in sport, it would appear, by some gentleman who had
slipped down for the purpose, pending his toilet, and gone up
again—'Jinkins's Particular,' while the other exhibited a sketch in
profile, claiming to be the portrait of Jinkins himself.
M. Todgers's Commercial Boarding-House was a house of that sort
which is likely to be dark at any time; but that morning it was
especially dark. There was an odd smell in the passage, as if the
concentrated essence of all the dinners that had been cooked in the
kitchen since the house was built, lingered at the top of the
kitchen stairs to that hour, and like the Black Friar in Don Juan,
'wouldn't be driven away.' In particular, there was a sensation of
cabbage; as if all the greens that had ever been boiled there, were
evergreens, and flourished in immortal strength. The parlour was
wainscoted, and communicated to strangers a magnetic and
instinctive consciousness of rats and mice. The staircase was very
gloomy and very broad, with balustrades so thick and heavy that
they would have served for a bridge. In a sombre corner on the
first landing, stood a gruff old giant of a clock, with a
preposterous coronet of three brass balls on his head; whom few had
ever seen—none ever looked in the face—and who seemed to continue
his heavy tick for no other reason than to warn heedless people
from running into him accidentally. It had not been papered or
painted, hadn't Todgers's, within the memory of man. It was very
black, begrimed, and mouldy. And, at the top of the staircase, was
an old, disjointed, rickety, ill-favoured skylight, patched and
mended in all kinds of ways, which looked distrustfully down at
everything that passed below, and covered Todgers's up as if it
were a sort of human cucumber-frame, and only people of a peculiar
growth were reared there.
Mr Pecksniff and his fair daughters had not stood warming
themselves at the fire ten minutes, when the sound of feet was
heard upon the stairs, and the presiding deity of the establishment
came hurrying in.
M. Todgers was a lady, rather a bony and hard-featured lady,
with a row of curls in front of her head, shaped like little
barrels of beer; and on the top of it something made of net—you
couldn't call it a cap exactly—which looked like a black cobweb.
She had a little basket on her arm, and in it a bunch of keys that
jingled as she came. In her other hand she bore a flaming tallow
candle, which, after surveying Mr Pecksniff for one instant by its
light, she put down upon the table, to the end that she might
receive him with the greater cordiality.
'Mr Pecksniff!' cried Mrs Todgers. 'Welcome to London! Who would
have thought of such a visit as this, after so—dear, dear!—so many
years! How do you DO, Mr Pecksniff?'
'As well as ever; and as glad to see you, as ever;' Mr Pecksniff
made response. 'Why, you are younger than you used to be!'
'YOU are, I am sure!' said Mrs Todgers. 'You're not a bit
changed.'
'What do you say to this?' cried Mr Pecksniff, stretching out
his hand towards the young ladies. 'Does this make me no
older?'
'Not your daughters!' exclaimed the lady, raising her hands and
clasping them. 'Oh, no, Mr Pecksniff! Your second, and her
bridesmaid!'
Mr Pecksniff smiled complacently; shook his head; and said, 'My
daughters, Mrs Todgers. Merely my daughters.'
'Ah!' sighed the good lady, 'I must believe you, for now I look
at 'em I think I should have known 'em anywhere. My dear Miss
Pecksniffs, how happy your Pa has made me!'
She hugged them both; and being by this time overpowered by her
feelings or the inclemency of the morning, jerked a little pocket
handkerchief out of the little basket, and applied the same to her
face.
'Now, my good madam,' said Mr Pecksniff, 'I know the rules of
your establishment, and that you only receive gentlemen boarders.
But it occurred to me, when I left home, that perhaps you would
give my daughters house room, and make an exception in their
favour.'
'Perhaps?' cried Mrs Todgers ecstatically. 'Perhaps?'
'I may say then, that I was sure you would,' said Mr Pecksniff.
'I know that you have a little room of your own, and that they can
be comfortable there, without appearing at the general table.'
'Dear girls!' said Mrs Todgers. 'I must take that liberty once
more.'
Mrs Todgers meant by this that she must embrace them once more,
which she accordingly did with great ardour. But the truth was that
the house being full with the exception of one bed, which would now
be occupied by Mr Pecksniff, she wanted time for consideration; and
so much time too (for it was a knotty point how to dispose of
them), that even when this second embrace was over, she stood for
some moments gazing at the sisters, with affection beaming in one
eye, and calculation shining out of the other.
'I think I know how to arrange it,' said Mrs Todgers, at length.
'A sofa bedstead in the little third room which opens from my own
parlour.—Oh, you dear girls!'
Thereupon she embraced them once more, observing that she could
not decide which was most like their poor mother (which was highly
probable, seeing that she had never beheld that lady), but that she
rather thought the youngest was; and then she said that as the
gentlemen would be down directly, and the ladies were fatigued with
travelling, would they step into her room at once?
It was on the same floor; being, in fact, the back parlour; and
had, as Mrs Todgers said, the great advantage (in London) of not
being overlooked; as they would see when the fog cleared off. Nor
was this a vainglorious boast, for it commanded at a perspective of
two feet, a brown wall with a black cistern on the top. The
sleeping apartment designed for the young ladies was approached
from this chamber by a mightily convenient little door, which would
only open when fallen against by a strong person. It commanded from
a similar point of sight another angle of the wall, and another
side of the cistern.
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