8.—My week’s book is nicely kept, and so far is reasonable.
Milk and sugar 7d., bread 6d., butter 8d., marmalade 6d., eggs 1s.
8d., laundress 2s. 9d., oil 6d., attendance 5s.; total 12s. 2d.
The landlady has a son who, she told me, is “somethink on a
homnibus”. He comes occasionally to see her. I think he drinks, for he
talks very loud, regardless of the hour of the day or night, and
tumbles about over the furniture downstairs.
All the morning I sit indoors writing—articles; verses for the
comic papers; a novel I’ve been “at” for three years, and concerning
which I have dreams; a children’s book, in which the imagination has
free rein; and another book which is to last as long as myself, since
it is an honest record of my soul’s advance or retreat in the struggle
of life. Besides these, I keep a book of poems which I use as a safety
valve, and concerning which I have no dreams whatsoever.
Between the lot I am always occupied. In the afternoons I generally
try to take a walk for my health’s sake, through Regent’s Park, into
Kensington Gardens, or farther afield to Hampstead.Heath.
Oct. 10.—Everything went wrong to-day. I have two eggs for
breakfast. This morning one of them was bad. I rang the bell for
Emily. When she came in I was reading the paper, and, without looking
up, I said, “Egg’s bad.” “Oh, is it, sir? ” she said; “I’ll get another
one,” and went out, taking the egg with her. I waited my breakfast for
her return, which was in five minutes. She put the new egg on the
table and went away. But, when I looked down, I saw that she had taken
away the good egg and left the bad one—all green and yellow—in the
slop basin. I rang again.
“You’ve taken the wrong egg,” I said.
“Oh! ” she exclaimed; ” I thought the one I took down didn’t smell
so very bad.” In due time she returned with the good egg, and I
resumed my breakfast with two eggs, but less appetite. It was all very
trivial, to be sure, but so stupid that I felt annoyed. The character
of that egg influenced everything I did. I wrote a bad article, and
tore it up. I got a bad headache. I used bad words—to myself.
Everything was bad, so I “chucked” work and went for a long walk.
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