The Lives and Times of Archy and Mehitabel
the lives and times of archy and mehitabel
books by
don marquis
a variety of people
archy and mehitabel
archy does his part
archy s life of mehitabel
carter, and other people
chapters for the orthodox
cruise of the jasper b
danny’s own story
dreams and dust
hermione and her little group of serious thinkers
love sonnets of a cave man and other verses
master of the revels—a comedy in four acts
off the arm
out of the sea—a play
poems and portraits
prefacts (decorations by tony sarg)
sonnets to a red-haired lady and famous love affairs
sons of the puritans
sun dial time
the almost perfect state
the awakening and other poems
the dark hours
the lives and times of archy and mehitabel
the old soak and hail and farewell
the old soak’s history of the world
the revolt of the oyster
when the turtles sing and other unusual tales.
copyright, 1927, 1930, 1933, 1935, 1950
by doubleday and company, inc.
copyright, 1916, 1917, 1918, 1919, 1920, 1921, 1922
by sun printing and publishing association.
copyright, 1922, 1923, 1924, 1925, 1934
by new york tribune, inc.
copyright, 1925, 1926, 1933, 1934
by p. f. collier and son, company.
copyright, 1928, 1932, 1933
by don marquis.
all rights reserved.
eISBN: 978-0-307-82838-5
v3.1
dedicated to babs
with babs knows what
and babs knows why
acknowledgment
the author is indebted to the proprietors of the new york sun, the new york herald-tribune, new york herald-tribune magazine and p. f. collier and son company for permission to reprint these sketches.
contents
Cover
Other Books by This Author
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgment
Introduction
archy and mehitabel
the coming of archy
mehitabel was once cleopatra
the song of mehitabel
pity the poor spiders
mehitabel s extensive past
the cockroach who had been to hell
archy interviews a pharaoh
a spider and a fly
freddy the rat perishes
the merry flea
why mehitabel jumped
certain maxims of archy
warty bliggens, the toad
mehitabel has an adventure
the flattered lightning bug
the robin and the worm
mehitabel finds a home
the wail of archy
mehitabel and her kittens
archy is shocked
archy creates a situation
mehitabel sings a song
aesop revised by archy
cheerio, my deario
the lesson of the moth
a roach of the taverns
the froward lady bug
pete the parrot and shakespeare
archy confesses
the old trouper
archy declares war
the hen and the oriole
ghosts
archy hears from mars
mehitabel dances with boreas
archy at the zoo
the dissipated hornet
unjust
the cheerful cricket
clarence the ghost
some natural history
prudence
archy goes abroad
archy at the tomb of napoleon
mehitabel meets an affinity
mehitabel sees paris
mehitabel in the catacombs
off with the old love
archy s life of mehitabel
the life of mehitabel the cat
the minstrel and the maltese cross
mehitabel s first mistake
the curse of drink
pussy café
a communication from archy
the return of archy
archy turns highbrow for a minute
archy experiences a seizure
peace—at a price
mehitabel again
archy among the philistines
archy protests
CAPITALS AT LAST
the stuff of literature
archy s autobiography
quote and only man is vile quote
mehitabel s morals
cream de la cream
do not pity mehitabel
mehitabel tries companionate marriage
no social stuff for mehitabel
the open spaces are too open
random thoughts by archy
archy s song
archy turns revolutionist
archy s last name
quote buns by great men quote
an awful warning
as it looks to archy
archy on the radio
archy a low brow
mehitabel s parlor story
archy s mission
archy visits washington
ballade of the under side
archy wants to end it all
book review
archy and the old un
archygrams
archy says
sings of los angeles
wants to go in the movies
the retreat from hollywood
artists shouldnt have offspring
could such things be
what does a trouper care
be damned mother dear
the artist always pays
a word from little archibald
archy does his part
prophecies
repeal
the ballyhoo
the league
conferences
a warning
now look at it
why the earth is round
the big bad wolf
abolish bridge
small talk
the south pole
poets
the two dollars
for reform
a horrid notion
archy in washington
hold everything
archy broadcasts
on the air again
resurgam
the ant bear
two comrades
as the spiders wrote it
a scarab
archy hunts a job
archy craves amusement
fate is unfair
at the zoo
no true friend
confessions of a glutton
literary jealousy
pete at the seashore
pete s theology
pete petitions
pete s holiday
a radical flea
archy and the labor troubles
an ultimatum
no snap
he gets in bad
economic
archy revolts
archy wants a change
archy on strike
a communication from henry
how the public viewed the strike
poem from henry
progress of the strike
a threat
the public and the strike
archy gets a 50 per cent increase
comment from archy
a conversation with archy
archy gets restless again
archy triumphs
yes we have
a wail from little archy
doing well
takes talent
summer is icumen in
archy climbs everest
archy on everest
archy on the theater
archy flies
archy and the suicide
comforting thoughts
inspiration
gossip
a close call
kidding the boss
a sermon
difficulties of art
a spiggoty hero
sociological
never blame the booze
the sad crickets
fond recollections
immorality
archy is excited
archy reports
archy says
the book worm
archy s comet
progress
he has enemies
barbarous
the demon rum
ancient lineage
quaint
the artist
the suicide club
psychic
destiny
a discussion
quarantined
archy s statue
the open spaces
short course in natural history
archy protests
archy on amateur gardens
archy on this and that
mehitabel sees it through
mehitabel meets her mate
mehitabel pulls a party
mehitabel joins the navy
what is a lady
archy denies it
a farewell
archy still in trouble
not any proof
statesmanship
spring
the author s desk
what the ants are saying
introduction
When the publisher asked me to write a few introductory remarks about Don Marquis for this new edition of archy and mehitabel, he said in his letter: “The sales of this particular volume have been really astounding.”
They do not astound me. Among books of humor by American authors, there are only a handful that rest solidly on the shelf. This book about Archy and Mehitabel, hammered out at such awful cost by the bug hurling himself at the keys, is one of those books. It is funny, it is wise, it is tender, and it is tough. The sales do not astound me; only the author astounds me, for I know (or think I do) at what cost Don Marquis produced these gaudy and irreverent tales. He was the sort of poet who does not create easily; he was left unsatisfied and gloomy by what he produced; day and night he felt the juices squeezed out of him by the merciless demands of daily newspaper work; he was never quite certified by intellectuals and serious critics of belles lettres. He ended in an exhausted condition—his money gone, his strength gone. Describing the coming of Archy in the Sun Dial column of the New York Sun one afternoon in 1916, he wrote: “After about an hour of this frightfully difficult literary labor he fell to the floor exhausted, and we saw him creep feebly into a nest of the poems which are always there in profusion.” In that sentence Don Marquis was writing his own obituary notice. After about a life-time of frightfully difficult literary labor keeping newspapers supplied with copy, he fell exhausted.
I feel obliged, before going any further, to dispose of one troublesome matter. The reader will have perhaps noticed that I am capitalizing the name Archy and the name Mehitabel. I mention this because the capitalization of Archy is considered the unforgivable sin by a whole raft of old Sun Dial fans who have somehow nursed the illogical idea that because Don Marquis’s cockroach was incapable of operating the shift key of a typewriter, nobody else could operate it. This is preposterous. Archy himself wished to be capitalized—he was no e. e. cummings. In fact he once flirted with the idea of writing the story of his life all in capital letters, if he could get somebody to lock the shift key for him. Furthermore, I capitalize Archy on the highest authority: wherever in his columns Don Marquis referred to his hero, Archy was capitalized by the boss himself. What higher authority can you ask?
The device of having a cockroach leave messages in his typewriter in the Sun office was a lucky accident and a happy solution for an acute problem. Marquis did not have the patience to adjust himself easily and comfortably to the rigors of daily columning, and he did not go about it in the steady, conscientious way that (for example) his contemporary Franklin P. Adams did. Consequently Marquis was always hard up for stuff to fill his space. Adams was a great editor, an insatiable proof-reader, a good make-up man. Marquis was none of these. Adams, operating his Conning Tower in the World, moved in the commodious margins of column-and-a-half width and built up a reliable stable of contributors. Marquis, cramped by single-column width, produced his column largely without outside assistance. He never assembled a hard-hitting bunch of contributors and never tried to.
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