Makes sense, right?

Here’s how things got to this point: Lucky and Gwen were having a weekly three-way with Callie’s girlfriend. When Callie caught Lucky and Eva fucking, she killed them on the spot, but spared Gwen for my benefit. Fate brought Gwen and Callie together, then they connected, and they’ve been together ever since.

Meaning two whole weeks.

I’m still holding out hope that Gwen realizes there’s something missing in her relationship with Callie.

A penis.

Something I’ve got in abundance.

Well, something I’ve got, anyway.

Gwen’s got something, too. Behind one of her implants, she’s hiding a small, ceramic device that can be programmed to kill me. It’s…

Look, it’s a long story.

I’ve got a chip in my brain. Not the kind that blows up like the lamp post lady’s did this morning, but the kind that turns white-hot and can liquefy my brain. My version is less messy than hers, but just as lethal. And while her chip appears to have been activated from a van, close by, I assume it works like the chip in my brain, which can be activated by satellite from nearly anywhere in the world. I don’t know if our chips are related, but I have to assume they are. What I do know is the device Gwen has behind her boob can kill me. And I aim to have it.

Other than the fact I’d like to spend some horizontal time with Gwen, I’m hanging around Vegas till I can retrieve the device from behind Gwen’s boob.

Sounds ridiculous, right? But what’re you going to do?

It is what it is.

Callie and I have explained all this to Gwen, but she’s reluctant to do the surgery. If it weren’t for Callie, I’d perform the surgery myself. But Gwen’s boobs are spectacular, even better than her husband, Lucky’s, boob job had been. Lucky had gotten his boobs after losing a bet, and…

Never mind.

I know what you’re thinking. This whole situation is nuts. Well, it’s even nuttier than you think: Lucky’s girlfriend was the plastic surgeon who performed Gwen’s implant surgery.

But still. Her boobs are like the eighth wonder of the world, and you’d hate to mess that up. Nevertheless, I can’t allow Gwen’s boobs to fall into the wrong hands.

It could literally be the end of me.

So I’m losing my patience.

“I’ll give you till three o’clock to set the appointment,” I say to Callie. “Otherwise, I’m going to take matters into my own hands.”

“Don’t threaten me,” Callie says.

Callie’s my protégé. Aside from me, she’s the deadliest human on the planet. I could be wrong about us being the two deadliest. After all, I haven’t met every human on the planet. But I’m in the killing business, so I know most of the deadly ones, and so far we’re one and two on the list. A formidable combination, we are, and based on a great working relationship, one I’d like to maintain.

Which means I’m not going to let a pair of boobs come between us. On the other hand, I aim to have that chip. Callie knows this.