But how she longed to have this day with him beside her prolonged indefinitely! The vision would fade of course when she returned to the world again. But now she admitted to herself she didn’t want to return. She’d be content to wander with him in the desert for the rest of her natural life.

Soon he came back with an Indian boy carrying an iron pot and some fresh mutton. Hazel watched them as they built a fire, arranged the potful of water to boil, and placed the meat to roast. The missionary was making a corn cake that was presently baking in the ashes and emitting a savory odor.

An Indian squaw appeared in the doorway of one of the hogans, her baby strapped to her back, and watched her with round eyes. Hazel smiled at the papoose, who soon dimpled into an answering smile. Then she discovered the missionary watching them both, his heart in his eyes, a strange joy in his face, and her heart beat faster. She was pleasing him! As she smiled back at the baby, she discovered her own interest in these neglected people of his. She couldn’t know that the dark-skinned baby she’d noticed would from now on become the missionary’s special object of care, just because she noticed it.

They enjoyed a cheerful meal, though not as intimate as the others were. Indeed, a group of Indian women and children huddled outside the nearest hogan and watched their every move with wide staring eyes and stolid but interested countenances. And the boy hovered not far away to bring anything they might need. It was all pleasant, but Hazel felt impatient because of the interruption when their time together was now so short. She was glad when, mounted on Billy again and her companion on a rough Indian pony, they rode away together into the afternoon sunshine.

But now it seemed only a breathless space before they’d encounter more people, for the two horses made rapid time, and the distances flew past them mile by mile.

Each moment the girl felt more shy and embarrassed and conscious of the words she’d overheard in the early morning. It seemed like a burden on her soul she couldn’t carry away unknown. Yet how could she let him know?

Chapter 8

Renunciation

They entered a strip of silvery sand, about two miles wide, and rode almost in silence, for a singular shyness had settled upon them.

The girl was conscious of his eyes on her with a tender yearning as if he’d impress the image on his mind for the time when she wouldn’t be with him anymore. Each had a curious sense of understanding the other’s thoughts and needing no words. But as they neared a great rustling stretch of corn he looked at her keenly again.

“You’re very tired, I’m sure.”

It wasn’t a question, but she lifted her eyes to deny it, and the color swept over her cheeks.

“I knew it,” he said, searching her raised eyes. “We must stop and rest after we pass through this corn. There’s a spot under some trees where you’ll be sheltered from the sun. This corn lasts only a mile or so more, and after you rest we’ll have only a short distance to go.” He caught his breath as though the words hurt him. “Our journey is almost over.”

They rode in silence through the corn. But on the other side, when they were seated beneath the trees, the girl lifted her eyes to him.

“I haven’t known how to thank you,” she said earnestly, the tears almost in evidence.

“Don’t, please!” he said gently. “It’s been good for me to be with you. How good you can never know.” He paused and then looked keenly at her.

“Did you rest well last night, your first night under the stars? Did you hear coyotes or feel at all afraid?”

Her color fled, and she dropped her glance to Billy’s neck, while her heart throbbed painfully.

He saw how disturbed she was.

“You were afraid,” he charged gently. “Why didn’t you call? I was close by all the time. What frightened you?”

“Oh, it was nothing!” she said evasively. “It was only for a minute.”

“Tell me, please!” His voice was compelling.

“It was just for a minute,” she said again, speaking rapidly and trying to hide her embarrassment. “I woke and thought I heard talking, and you weren’t in sight. But it wasn’t long before you came back with an armful of wood, and I saw it was almost morning.”

Her cheeks were rosy, as she lifted her clear eyes to meet his searching gaze and tried to face him steadily, but he looked into the very depths of her soul and saw the truth. She felt her courage leaving her and tried to turn her gaze lightly away but couldn’t.

At last he said in a low voice full of feeling: “You heard me?”

Her eyes, which he’d held with his look, wavered, faltered, and dropped.

“I was afraid of that,” he said as her silence confirmed his conviction.