He now showed a far deeper sense, and an
intelligence that began to deal with high subjects, though in a
feeble and childish way. He evinced, too, a more definite and
nobler individuality, but developed out of grief and pain, and
fearfully conscious of the pangs that had given it birth. Every
human life, if it ascends to truth or delves down to reality, must
undergo a similar change; but sometimes, perhaps, the instruction
comes without the sorrow; and oftener the sorrow teaches no lesson
that abides with us. In Donatello's case, it was pitiful, and
almost ludicrous, to observe the confused struggle that he made;
how completely he was taken by surprise; how ill-prepared he stood,
on this old battlefield of the world, to fight with such an
inevitable foe as mortal calamity, and sin for its stronger
ally.
"And yet," thought Kenyon, "the poor fellow bears himself like a
hero, too! If he would only tell me his trouble, or give me an
opening to speak frankly about it, I might help him; but he finds
it too horrible to be uttered, and fancies himself the only mortal
that ever felt the anguish of remorse. Yes; he believes that nobody
ever endured his agony before; so that—sharp enough in itself—it
has all the additional zest of a torture just invented to plague
him individually."
The sculptor endeavored to dismiss the painful subject from his
mind; and, leaning against the battlements, he turned his face
southward and westward, and gazed across the breadth of the valley.
His thoughts flew far beyond even those wide boundaries, taking an
air-line from Donatello's tower to another turret that ascended
into the sky of the summer afternoon, invisibly to him, above the
roofs of distant Rome. Then rose tumultuously into his
consciousness that strong love for Hilda, which it was his habit to
confine in one of the heart's inner chambers, because he had found
no encouragement to bring it forward. But now he felt a strange
pull at his heart-strings. It could not have been more perceptible,
if all the way between these battlements and Hilda's dove-cote had
stretched an exquisitely sensitive cord, which, at the hither end,
was knotted with his aforesaid heart-strings, and, at the remoter
one, was grasped by a gentle hand. His breath grew tremulous. He
put his hand to his breast; so distinctly did he seem to feel that
cord drawn once, and again, and again, as if—though still it was
bashfully intimated there were an importunate demand for his
presence. O for the white wings of Hilda's doves, that he might,
have flown thither, and alighted at the Virgin's shrine!
But lovers, and Kenyon knew it well, project so lifelike a copy
of their mistresses out of their own imaginations, that it can pull
at the heartstrings almost as perceptibly as the genuine original.
No airy intimations are to be trusted; no evidences of responsive
affection less positive than whispered and broken words, or tender
pressures of the hand, allowed and half returned; or glances, that
distil many passionate avowals into one gleam of richly colored
light. Even these should be weighed rigorously, at the instant;
for, in another instant, the imagination seizes on them as its
property, and stamps them with its own arbitrary value. But Hilda's
maidenly reserve had given her lover no such tokens, to be
interpreted either by his hopes or fears.
"Yonder, over mountain and valley, lies Rome," said the
sculptor; "shall you return thither in the autumn?"
"Never! I hate Rome," answered Donatello; "and have good
cause."
"And yet it was a pleasant winter that we spent there," observed
Kenyon, "and with pleasant friends about us. You would meet them
again there—all of them."
"All?" asked Donatello.
"All, to the best of my belief," said the sculptor: "but you
need not go to Rome to seek them. If there were one of those
friends whose lifetime was twisted with your own, I am enough of a
fatalist to feel assured that you will meet that one again, wander
whither you may. Neither can we escape the companions whom
Providence assigns for us, by climbing an old tower like this."
"Yet the stairs are steep and dark," rejoined the Count; "none
but yourself would seek me here, or find me, if they sought."
As Donatello did not take advantage of this opening which his
friend had kindly afforded him to pour out his hidden troubles, the
latter again threw aside the subject, and returned to the enjoyment
of the scene before him. The thunder-storm, which he had beheld
striding across the valley, had passed to the left of Monte Beni,
and was continuing its march towards the hills that formed the
boundary on the eastward. Above the whole valley, indeed, the sky
was heavy with tumbling vapors, interspersed with which were tracts
of blue, vividly brightened by the sun; but, in the east, where the
tempest was yet trailing its ragged skirts, lay a dusky region of
cloud and sullen mist, in which some of the hills appeared of a
dark purple hue. Others became so indistinct, that the spectator
could not tell rocky height from impalpable cloud. Far into this
misty cloud region, however,—within the domain of chaos, as it
were,—hilltops were seen brightening in the sunshine; they looked
like fragments of the world, broken adrift and based on
nothingness, or like portions of a sphere destined to exist, but
not yet finally compacted.
The sculptor, habitually drawing many of the images and
illustrations of his thoughts from the plastic art, fancied that
the scene represented the process of the Creator, when he held the
new, imperfect earth in his hand, and modelled it.
"What a magic is in mist and vapor among the mountains!" he
exclaimed. "With their help, one single scene becomes a thousand.
The cloud scenery gives such variety to a hilly landscape that it
would be worth while to journalize its aspect from hour to hour. A
cloud, however,—as I have myself experienced,—is apt to grow solid
and as heavy as a stone the instant that you take in hand to
describe it, But, in my own heart, I have found great use in
clouds. Such silvery ones as those to the northward, for example,
have often suggested sculpturesque groups, figures, and attitudes;
they are especially rich in attitudes of living repose, which a
sculptor only hits upon by the rarest good fortune. When I go back
to my dear native land, the clouds along the horizon will be my
only gallery of art!"
"I can see cloud shapes, too," said Donatello; "yonder is one
that shifts strangely; it has been like people whom I knew. And
now, if I watch it a little longer, it will take the figure of a
monk reclining, with his cowl about his head and drawn partly over
his face, and—well! did I not tell you so?"
"I think," remarked Kenyon, "we can hardly be gazing at the same
cloud. What I behold is a reclining figure, to be sure, but
feminine, and with a despondent air, wonderfully well expressed in
the wavering outline from head to foot. It moves my very heart by
something indefinable that it suggests."
"I see the figure, and almost the face," said the Count; adding,
in a lower voice, "It is Miriam's!"
"No, not Miriam's," answered the sculptor. While the two gazers
thus found their own reminiscences and presentiments floating among
the clouds, the day drew to its close, and now showed them the fair
spectacle of an Italian sunset. The sky was soft and bright, but
not so gorgeous as Kenyon had seen it, a thousand times, in
America; for there the western sky is wont to be set aflame with
breadths and depths of color with which poets seek in vain to dye
their verses, and which painters never dare to copy. As beheld from
the tower of Monte Beni, the scene was tenderly magnificent, with
mild gradations of hue and a lavish outpouring of gold, but rather
such gold as we see on the leaf of a bright flower than the
burnished glow of metal from the mine.
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