But the
crash, and the affright and trouble, are as overwhelming, for the
time, as if the catastrophe involved the whole moral world.
Remembering these things, let them suggest one generous motive for
walking heedfully amid the defilement of earthly ways! Let us
reflect, that the highest path is pointed out by the pure Ideal of
those who look up to us, and who, if we tread less loftily, may
never look so high again.
Hilda's situation was made infinitely more wretched by the
necessity of Confining all her trouble within her own
consciousness. To this innocent girl, holding the knowledge of
Miriam's crime within her tender and delicate soul, the effect was
almost the same as if she herself had participated in the guilt.
Indeed, partaking the human nature of those who could perpetrate
such deeds, she felt her own spotlessness impugnent.
Had there been but a single friend,—or not a friend, since
friends were no longer to be confided in, after Miriam had betrayed
her trust,—but, had there been any calm, wise mind, any
sympathizing intelligence; or, if not these, any dull,
half-listening ear into which she might have flung the dreadful
secret, as into an echoless cavern, what a relief would have
ensued! But this awful loneliness! It enveloped her whithersoever
she went. It was a shadow in the sunshine of festal days; a mist
between her eyes and the pictures at which she strove to look; a
chill dungeon, which kept her in its gray twilight and fed her with
its unwholesome air, fit only for a criminal to breathe and pine
in! She could not escape from it. In the effort to do so, straying
farther into the intricate passages of our nature, she stumbled,
ever and again, over this deadly idea of mortal guilt.
Poor sufferer for another's sin! Poor wellspring of a virgin's
heart, into which a murdered corpse had casually fallen, and whence
it could not be drawn forth again, but lay there, day after day,
night after night, tainting its sweet atmosphere with the scent of
crime and ugly death!
The strange sorrow that had befallen Hilda did not fail to
impress its mysterious seal upon her face, and to make itself
perceptible to sensitive observers in her manner and carriage. A
young Italian artist, who frequented the same galleries which Hilda
haunted, grew deeply interested in her expression. One day, while
she stood before Leonardo da Vinci's picture of Joanna of Aragon,
but evidently without seeing it,—for, though it had attracted her
eyes, a fancied resemblance to Miriam had immediately drawn away
her thoughts,—this artist drew a hasty sketch which he afterwards
elaborated into a finished portrait. It represented Hilda as gazing
with sad and earnest horror at a bloodspot which she seemed just
then to have discovered on her white robe. The picture attracted
considerable notice. Copies of an engraving from it may still be
found in the print shops along the Corso. By many connoisseurs, the
idea of the face was supposed to have been suggested by the
portrait of Beatrice Cenci; and, in fact, there was a look somewhat
similar to poor Beatrice's forlorn gaze out of the dreary isolation
and remoteness, in which a terrible doom had involved a tender
soul. But the modern artist strenuously upheld the originality of
his own picture, as well as the stainless purity its subject, and
chose to call it—and was laughed at for his pains—"Innocence, dying
of a Blood-stain!"
"Your picture, Signore Panini, does you credit," remarked the
picture dealer, who had bought it of the young man for fifteen
scudi, and afterwards sold it for ten times the sum; "but it would
be worth a better price if you had given it a more intelligible
title. Looking at the face and expression of this fair signorina,
we seem to comprehend readily enough, that she is undergoing one or
another of those troubles of the heart to which young ladies are
but too liable. But what is this blood-stain? And what has
innocence to do with it? Has she stabbed her perfidious lover with
a bodkin?"
"She! she commit a crime!" cried the young artist. "Can you look
at the innocent anguish in her face, and ask that question? No;
but, as I read the mystery, a man has been slain in her presence,
and the blood, spurting accidentally on her white robe, has made a
stain which eats into her life."
"Then, in the name of her patron saint," exclaimed the picture
dealer, "why don't she get the robe made white again at the expense
of a few baiocchi to her washerwoman? No, no, my dear Panini. The
picture being now my property, I shall call it 'The Signorina's
Vengeance.' She has stabbed her lover overnight, and is repenting
it betimes the next morning. So interpreted, the picture becomes an
intelligible and very natural representation of a not uncommon
fact."
Thus coarsely does the world translate all finer griefs that
meet its eye. It is more a coarse world than an unkind one.
But Hilda sought nothing either from the world's delicacy or its
pity, and never dreamed of its misinterpretations. Her doves often
flew in through the windows of the tower, winged messengers,
bringing her what sympathy they could, and uttering soft, tender,
and complaining sounds, deep in their bosoms, which soothed the
girl more than a distincter utterance might. And sometimes Hilda
moaned quietly among the doves, teaching her voice to accord with
theirs, and thus finding a temporary relief from the burden of her
incommunicable sorrow, as if a little portion of it, at least, had
been told to these innocent friends, and been understood and
pitied.
When she trimmed the lamp before the Virgin's shrine, Hilda
gazed at the sacred image, and, rude as was the workmanship,
beheld, or fancied, expressed with the quaint, powerful simplicity
which sculptors sometimes had five hundred years ago, a woman's
tenderness responding to her gaze. If she knelt, if she prayed, if
her oppressed heart besought the sympathy of divine womanhood afar
in bliss, but not remote, because forever humanized by the memory
of mortal griefs, was Hilda to be blamed? It was not a Catholic
kneeling at an idolatrous shrine, but a child lifting its
tear-stained face to seek comfort from a mother.
CHAPTER XXXVII
THE EMPTINESS OF PICTURE GALLERIES
Hilda descended, day by day, from her dove-cote, and went to one
or another of the great old palaces,—the Pamfili Doria, the
Corsini, the Sciarra, the Borghese, the Colonna,—where the
doorkeepers knew her well, and offered her a kindly greeting. But
they shook their heads and sighed, on observing the languid step
with which the poor girl toiled up the grand marble staircases.
There was no more of that cheery alacrity with which she used to
flit upward, as if her doves had lent her their wings, nor of that
glow of happy spirits which had been wont to set the tarnished
gilding of the picture frames and the shabby splendor of the
furniture all a-glimmer, as she hastened to her congenial and
delightful toil.
An old German artist, whom she often met in the galleries, once
laid a paternal hand on Hilda's head, and bade her go back to her
own country.
"Go back soon," he said, with kindly freedom and directness, "or
you will go never more. And, if you go not, why, at least, do you
spend the whole summer-time in Rome? The air has been breathed too
often, in so many thousand years, and is not wholesome for a little
foreign flower like you, my child, a delicate wood-anemone from the
western forest-land."
"I have no task nor duty anywhere but here," replied Hilda. "The
old masters will not set me free!"
"Ah, those old masters!" cried the veteran artist, shaking his
head. "They are a tyrannous race! You will find them of too mighty
a spirit to be dealt with, for long together, by the slender hand,
the fragile mind, and the delicate heart, of a young girl. Remember
that Raphael's genius wore out that divinest painter before half
his life was lived. Since you feel his influence powerfully enough
to reproduce his miracles so well, it will assuredly consume you
like a flame."
"That might have been my peril once," answered Hilda. "It is not
so now."
"Yes, fair maiden, you stand in that peril now!" insisted the
kind old man; and he added, smiling, yet in a melancholy vein, and
with a German grotesqueness of idea, "Some fine morning, I shall
come to the Pinacotheca of the Vatican, with my palette and my
brushes, and shall look for my little American artist that sees
into the very heart of the grand pictures! And what shall I behold?
A heap of white ashes on the marble floor, just in front of the
divine Raphael's picture of the Madonna da Foligno! Nothing more,
upon my word! The fire, which the poor child feels so fervently,
will have gone into her innermost, and burnt her quite up!"
"It would be a happy martyrdom!" said Hilda, faintly smiling.
"But I am far from being worthy of it. What troubles me much, among
other troubles, is quite the reverse of what you think. The old
masters hold me here, it is true, but they no longer warm me with
their influence. It is not flame consuming, but torpor chilling me,
that helps to make me wretched."
"Perchance, then," said the German, looking keenly at her,
"Raphael has a rival in your heart? He was your first love; but
young maidens are not always constant, and one flame is sometimes
extinguished by another!" Hilda shook her head, and turned away.
She had spoken the truth, however, in alleging that torpor, rather
than fire, was what she had to dread.
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