My father suddenly adopted the most loving demeanor, so perfectly playing the paternal role that I was convinced he had a true father’s heart.

“So there you are, you rebellious girl!” he said, taking my hands in his and kissing them in a manner more debonair than fatherly. And he pulled me to him, took me by the waist, held me close to kiss my cheeks and forehead. “You will heal the sorrow we feel at your change of vocation by our pleasure at your success in society. Do you know, madame, she will be a very pretty young woman, of whom you will one day be proud? But here is your brother Rhétoré.”

“Alphonse,” he said to a handsome young man who had come in, “here is your sister, the nun who would cast off her habit.”

Taking his time, my brother stepped forward, took my hand, and pressed it in his.

“Well, go on, kiss her,” said the duke, and he gave me a kiss on each cheek.

“I’m happy to see you, my sister,” he said, “and know that I am on your side, against my father.”

I thanked him, though I couldn’t help thinking he could easily have stopped by Blois sometime on the way to visit our brother the marquis at his garrison in Orléans. I withdrew, fearing that strangers might arrive at any moment. I did some tidying in my rooms, then laid out my pens and paper on the beautiful table’s red velvet, all the while thinking over my new place in life.

And there, my fine white doe, without exaggeration or omission, is how a girl of eighteen was greeted on her return to one of the most illustrious families of the realm after nine years away. I was tired from the journey and the emotions aroused by this return to the nest: I thus went to bed as we did in the convent, at eight o’clock, after supper. They’ve kept even a little Saxony porcelain plate my beloved grandmother used when the fancy took her to dine alone in her rooms.

2

FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME

November 25

The next day I found my rooms straightened and made up by old Philippe, the vases now filled with flowers. I finally made myself at home. But it had occurred to no one that a recent boarder at the Carmelites would be hungry at a very early hour, and Rose had a terrible time with my breakfast.

“Mademoiselle went to bed as we were serving dinner, and she is rising when monseigneur is just coming home,” she told me.

I sat down at my table. Toward one o’clock my father knocked at the door of my little drawing room and asked if I would see him; I opened the door, and he came in to find me in the middle of writing to you.

“My dear,” he told me, “you will be needing new clothes, and you must get settled here. In this purse you will find twelve hundred francs: one year of the income I have set aside for your upkeep. If Miss Griffith is not to your liking, talk with your mother about engaging a more suitable governess, for during the day Madame de Chaulieu will be unable to stay with you. You will have a carriage at your disposal, and a servant.”

“I’d like Philippe,” I said.

“Very well,” he answered. “But have no fear: your fortune is sizable enough that you will be a burden neither to your mother nor to me.”

“Would it be indiscreet to ask the amount of that fortune?”

“Not at all, my child,” he said. “Your grandmother left you five hundred thousand francs, her life savings, for she wanted all her lands to remain in the family. That sum was invested in the public debt. Today the accumulated interest has produced an annual income of some forty thousand francs. My intention was to devote that sum to your second brother’s fortune. As you see, you are greatly upsetting my plans, but perhaps one day you will fulfill them; you may decide that for yourself. I find you more reasonable than I expected. I need not tell you how a Mademoiselle de Chaulieu conducts herself; the pride I see in your features is my trusted guarantee. The precautions that ordinary folk take for their daughters are in this house an insult. A malicious rumor concerning you might well cost its impertinent teller his life—or, if heaven is unjust, the life of one of your brothers. Of that I will say no more. Goodbye, my dear.”

He kissed my forehead and went off. I cannot understand why that plan was abandoned after nine years’ perseverance. My father was admirably to the point. There is no ambiguity in his words: my fortune is meant to go to his son the marquis.