She had been living
near Red Lake.”
“Do you mean Nas Ta Bega wants to keep his sister far removed from
Willetts?” inquired Shefford.
“I mean that,” replied Withers, “and I hope he’s not too late.”
Later Shefford went outdoors to walk and think. There was no moon,
but the stars made light enough to cast his shadow on the ground.
The dark, illimitable expanse of blue sky seemed to be glittering
with numberless points of fire. The air was cold and still. A
dreaming silence lay over the land. Shefford saw and felt all these
things, and their effect was continuous and remained with him and
helped calm him. He was conscious of a burden removed from his mind.
Confession of his secret had been like tearing a thorn from his flesh,
but, once done, it afforded him relief and a singular realization that
out here it did not matter much. In a crowd of men all looking at him
and judging him by their standards he had been made to suffer. Here,
if he were judged at all, it would be by what he could do, how he
sustained himself and helped others.
He walked far across the valley toward the low bluffs, but they did
not seem to get any closer. And, finally, he stopped beside a stone
and looked around at the strange horizon and up at the heavens. He
did not feel utterly aloof from them, nor alone in a waste, nor a
useless atom amid incomprehensible forces. Something like a loosened
mantle fell from about him, dropping down at his feet; and all at once
he was conscious of freedom. He did not understand in the least why
abasement left him, but it was so. He had come a long way, in
bitterness, in despair, believing himself to be what men had called
him. The desert and the stars and the wind, the silence of the night,
the loneliness of this vast country where there was room for a thousand
cities–these somehow vaguely, yet surely, bade him lift his head.
They withheld their secret, but they made a promise. The thing which
he had been feeling every day and every night was a strange enveloping
comfort. And it was at this moment that Shefford, divining whence his
help was to come, embraced all that wild and speaking nature around
and above him and surrendered himself utterly.
“I am young. I am free. I have my life to live,” he said. “I’ll be
a man. I’ll take what comes. Let me learn here!”
When he had spoken out, settled once and for ever his attitude toward
his future, he seemed to be born again, wonderfully alive to the
influences around him, ready to trust what yet remained a mystery.
Then his thoughts reverted to Fay Larkin. Could this girl be known to
the Mormons? It was possible. Fay Larkin was an unusual name. Deep
into Shefford’s heart had sunk the story Venters had told. Shefford
found that he had unconsciously created a like romance–he had been
loving a wild and strange and lonely girl, like beautiful Bess Venters.
It was a shock to learn the truth, but, as it had been only a dream,
it could hardly be vital.
Shefford retraced his steps toward the post. Halfway back he espied a
tall, dark figure moving toward him, and presently the shape and the
step seemed familiar. Then he recognized Nas Ta Bega. Soon they were
face to face. Shefford felt that the Indian had been trailing him over
the sand, and that this was to be a significant meeting. Remembering
Withers’s revelation about the Navajo, Shefford scarcely knew how to
approach him now.
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