The past
eighteen months, so full of new and varied experience, appeared a
dreary, prosaic waste of days. I felt—how shall I express it?—that
there was no truth to be got out of them.
What truth? I should have been hard put to it to explain.
Probably, if pressed, I would have burst into tears simply. I was
young enough for that.
Next day the Captain and I transacted our business in the
Harbour Office. It was a lofty, big, cool, white room, where the
screened light of day glowed serenely. Everybody in it—the
officials, the public—were in white. Only the heavy polished desks
gleamed darkly in a central avenue, and some papers lying on them
were blue. Enormous punkahs sent from on high a gentle draught
through that immaculate interior and upon our perspiring heads.
The official behind the desk we approached grinned amiably and
kept it up till, in answer to his perfunctory question, "Sign off
and on again?" my Captain answered, "No! Signing off for good." And
then his grin vanished in sudden solemnity. He did not look at me
again till he handed me my papers with a sorrowful expression, as
if they had been my passports for Hades.
While I was putting them away he murmured some question to the
Captain, and I heard the latter answer good-humouredly:
"No. He leaves us to go home."
"Oh!" the other exclaimed, nodding mournfully over my sad
condition.
I didn't know him outside the official building, but he leaned
forward the desk to shake hands with me, compassionately, as one
would with some poor devil going out to be hanged; and I am afraid
I performed my part ungraciously, in the hardened manner of an
impenitent criminal.
No homeward-bound mail-boat was due for three or four days.
Being now a man without a ship, and having for a time broken my
connection with the sea—become, in fact, a mere potential
passenger—it would have been more appropriate perhaps if I had gone
to stay at an hotel. There it was, too, within a stone's throw of
the Harbour Office, low, but somehow palatial, displaying its
white, pillared pavilions surrounded by trim grass plots. I would
have felt a passenger indeed in there! I gave it a hostile glance
and directed my steps toward the Officers' Sailors' Home.
I walked in the sunshine, disregarding it, and in the shade of
the big trees on the esplanade without enjoying it. The heat of the
tropical East descended through the leafy boughs, enveloping my
thinly-clad body, clinging to my rebellious discontent, as if to
rob it of its freedom.
The Officers' Home was a large bungalow with a wide verandah and
a curiously suburban-looking little garden of bushes and a few
trees between it and the street. That institution partook somewhat
of the character of a residential club, but with a slightly
Governmental flavour about it, because it was administered by the
Harbour Office. Its manager was officially styled Chief Steward. He
was an unhappy, wizened little man, who if put into a jockey's rig
would have looked the part to perfection. But it was obvious that
at some time or other in his life, in some capacity or other, he
had been connected with the sea. Possibly in the comprehensive
capacity of a failure.
I should have thought his employment a very easy one, but he
used to affirm for some reason or other that his job would be the
death of him some day. It was rather mysterious. Perhaps everything
naturally was too much trouble for him. He certainly seemed to hate
having people in the house.
On entering it I thought he must be feeling pleased. It was as
still as a tomb. I could see no one in the living rooms; and the
verandah, too, was empty, except for a man at the far end dozing
prone in a long chair. At the noise of my footsteps he opened one
horribly fish-like eye. He was a stranger to me. I retreated from
there, and crossing the dining room—a very bare apartment with a
motionless punkah hanging over the centre table—I knocked at a door
labelled in black letters: "Chief Steward."
The answer to my knock being a vexed and doleful plaint: "Oh,
dear! Oh, dear! What is it now?" I went in at once.
It was a strange room to find in the tropics. Twilight and
stuffiness reigned in there. The fellow had hung enormously ample,
dusty, cheap lace curtains over his windows, which were shut. Piles
of cardboard boxes, such as milliners and dressmakers use in
Europe, cumbered the corners; and by some means he had procured for
himself the sort of furniture that might have come out of a
respectable parlour in the East End of London—a horsehair sofa,
arm-chairs of the same. I glimpsed grimy antimacassars scattered
over that horrid upholstery, which was awe-inspiring, insomuch that
one could not guess what mysterious accident, need, or fancy had
collected it there. Its owner had taken off his tunic, and in white
trousers and a thin, short-sleeved singlet prowled behind the
chair-backs nursing his meagre elbows.
An exclamation of dismay escaped him when he heard that I had
come for a stay; but he could not deny that there were plenty of
vacant rooms.
"Very well.
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