Some laughed, most of them looked
sorely frightened. When I saw them standing round me, it came into
my head that I was doing as foolish a thing as it was possible for
me to do under the circumstances, in trying to revive the sensation
of fear. For, reasoning from their daylight behaviour, I thought
that fear must be forgotten.
'Abruptly, I dashed down the match, and, knocking one of the
people over in my course, went blundering across the big
dining-hall again, out under the moonlight. I heard cries of terror
and their little feet running and stumbling this way and that. I do
not remember all I did as the moon crept up the sky. I suppose it
was the unexpected nature of my loss that maddened me. I felt
hopelessly cut off from my own kind—a strange animal in an unknown
world. I must have raved to and fro, screaming and crying upon God
and Fate. I have a memory of horrible fatigue, as the long night of
despair wore away; of looking in this impossible place and that; of
groping among moon-lit ruins and touching strange creatures in the
black shadows; at last, of lying on the ground near the sphinx and
weeping with absolute wretchedness. I had nothing left but misery.
Then I slept, and when I woke again it was full day, and a couple
of sparrows were hopping round me on the turf within reach of my
arm.
'I sat up in the freshness of the morning, trying to remember
how I had got there, and why I had such a profound sense of
desertion and despair. Then things came clear in my mind. With the
plain, reasonable daylight, I could look my circumstances fairly in
the face. I saw the wild folly of my frenzy overnight, and I could
reason with myself. "Suppose the worst?" I said. "Suppose the
machine altogether lost—perhaps destroyed? It behoves me to be calm
and patient, to learn the way of the people, to get a clear idea of
the method of my loss, and the means of getting materials and
tools; so that in the end, perhaps, I may make another." That would
be my only hope, perhaps, but better than despair. And, after all,
it was a beautiful and curious world.
'But probably, the machine had only been taken away. Still, I
must be calm and patient, find its hiding-place, and recover it by
force or cunning. And with that I scrambled to my feet and looked
about me, wondering where I could bathe. I felt weary, stiff, and
travel-soiled. The freshness of the morning made me desire an equal
freshness. I had exhausted my emotion. Indeed, as I went about my
business, I found myself wondering at my intense excitement
overnight. I made a careful examination of the ground about the
little lawn. I wasted some time in futile questionings, conveyed,
as well as I was able, to such of the little people as came by.
They all failed to understand my gestures; some were simply stolid,
some thought it was a jest and laughed at me. I had the hardest
task in the world to keep my hands off their pretty laughing faces.
It was a foolish impulse, but the devil begotten of fear and blind
anger was ill curbed and still eager to take advantage of my
perplexity. The turf gave better counsel. I found a groove ripped
in it, about midway between the pedestal of the sphinx and the
marks of my feet where, on arrival, I had struggled with the
overturned machine. There were other signs of removal about, with
queer narrow footprints like those I could imagine made by a sloth.
This directed my closer attention to the pedestal. It was, as I
think I have said, of bronze. It was not a mere block, but highly
decorated with deep framed panels on either side.
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